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danieru in tokyo
Saturday, July 02, 2011
Politik is Real said Kissinger
A few have said it but the full extent of what it meant never hit me until I was in the pool today. Politics distiled to no more than it's elements is no more subtle than any other skill, but acquiring it is near impossible for me. I resist. And now I know why - essentially politics is all about being selfish. It follows that politicians are oft slated for being self serving - a tautology, I feel.

This came to mind after The Juiceman named his daughter after the bank for which he works. Surely the very pinnacle of political coups. And indescribably selfish.

Monday, December 27, 2010
i dont wanna be middle class no more.
I learnt this having been to a large shopping centre in West London today. Pikeys. Everywhere. Shopping to the visa max. It's going to sound sanctimonious, but it's simpler than that: I find it hard to believe that the kids can actually afford to spend the cash that they are dropping at the sales. And yes, the obscure world of personal finance has evolved somewhat since I was an annoying twenty something peddler of alcohol and tobacco. So it's plausible I am in no place to judge. But what I do think - and this is where the possible-i'm-right comes into play - the class divide is expanding, and these guys neither understand nor care.

And it could be argued that this is my chance, to take a stand, do what I owe back to create an egalitarian society. Yet I quote Bush: I dont care. The solution I offer instead will be to leave the middle class. I'm not going to play this game anymore. Explanation:

Stick on the Buddist hat, kick back to your previous life as a French aristocrat, preferably a few decades prior to the time when you were praying to the God of Scarlet. You'll find yourself sneering down at the peasants toiling your land in something that appears to be a non-sensically mind numbing pain of labour, only to retrieve a token of thanks, which evaporated somewhere between the paymaster and house, following that familiar road which veers through the church and bar. You would have looked down on the filth ridden apes and said to yourself: Good Lord. You've got your booze and your church, and you're happy. Your children will suffer the same miserable fate as you, yet you are happy. If I were you, I would shoot the nobility. Take an axe, take a stand. And yet you won't, I would muse. Could it be that you are so pre-occupied with your wine and your clerics? Game Theory: Those that you love most will treat you the worst.

Raincheck & Back to Buddha. Do an accidental good deed and die a few dozen times, and your reincarnated back to today, landed into an obnoxious university educated computer geek who earns more than their fair share of worth in the the world. And when I look at the lemmings in the shopping centre (or modern day place of worship), devoid of the ability to do anything more than drink and shop, I feel the pains from my previous life. The peasants will never revolt: because the peasants are revolting.

Sunday, December 19, 2010
Situational Friends
Situtional Friends

Perhaps better phrased as strategic alliances.   I'm sure there is a more tuetonic and less emotional expression which could better summarize.   We cruise through school college work love in life and it's only as the pace picks up do we really form these disposable friendships which do more to dispose of our soul than they dispose of the lonliness which we are shooting at the time.   It was Rajani that once told me nothing in life is fun when it's rushed. And that's what all the strategic alliances are about - I don't need this but the posture feels like it could work. And we know it doesn't.

I had a Jack with Royce and tried to fathom how and if it mattered.  Why could it matter?   Well for one, you are a product of your environment.   And my adhoc definition of an adult is one whom shapes their own environment.   So as an adult you have an obligation to yourself to immerse intellectually in a selfish manner - within a mindset that you wish to assimilate.  

Thursday, November 25, 2010
The Means to an End
has it meant the end of me?

I went contracting in the UK because it meant i was a spectating locust of the corporate world, rather than the cog i needed to stay away from. Then came asia, then came more cash with a permanent job, and then came the notion of a 'career'. it was all so strange. in 2010 i had two great things almost every human wakes up wanting - a great profile at a respectable company and unconditional love. I knew all was good - which translated to bland, and led to arrogance in the expectation to have more. Greed has an extreme pH. The moment we lay down the litmus and see blank, we panic and submit to the sniff of sulphur.

I forgot about the means to the end - the only reason I needed to get that job was because... it was a means to an end. the only reason I wanted love.... ad infinitum.

And then I realized at 7am this morning that the means to and end has ended me. We can't see straight when the greed is quenched - blandness is blinding.

I need to make a decision as to whether I actually want a career or not. I didn't even know that I had one. Perhaps that's answered the question in itself. I'm not proud of what I do and I feel nauseous at the idea of waking up at 50 knowing this is all I achieved was a series of plastic landmarks in the eyes of the shareholders.

I can quote Carney and talk about The End; but I dont feel it. I need to know what The End is, otherwise I can't argue that the present is the vehicle towards it. Otherwise.... this is The End.

Saturday, October 09, 2010
2009 *was* fun
I never summarized the year. Probably because it was the best one ever. Everything that happened made we wake up mid year and write to K Lee asking "how do i sell?" Rationale: When you are at the top, and everything is perfect, there is only one direction. And I knew everything was perfect. But I didn't know how to sell or how to ensure that I checked out of the game and kept all the prizes. He didn't know what I was talking about or how to respond. Which figures, because he is now a Life Coach. So I experienced The Blip which blew my mind heart and soul.

In 2009, there was travel too: Taipei + Okinawa were the new places.

Although work was a downer, as I began to lose the influence of the boss, it could have been to doing less work (as the 8-6 dream finally happened). But the reality was that was a good thing. I got the salary and stole a life - sounds like a fair trade to me.

Did a load of cycling, saw more of Japan, scored a motorcyle licence. I watched as the yen flew skywards further than imagined possible, and plotted to short it. Then I vowed to leave this land - target end of 2011. The trouble is, I simply do not know where to go (dot dot dot)

Sunday, October 25, 2009
humans evolved
Back in the nineties, the madcap conspiracy monkeys believed that the government was the sole enemy of the people. Controlling the people for an alternate purpose which was never entirely lucid.


We've focussed our hatred on MegaBank these days.

Thursday, July 16, 2009
Awake at 03:00 on a school night
Stone cold sober, and unable to sleep. Something's bugging me, and annoyingly, now that i've worked out what it is, it's troubling all the more. I used to believe that you decided what the stress was, it evaporated into a stratospheric cloud eclipsed by sunshine. Ain't no sunshine today.

The wisdom of Rajani has the answer: The difficult part is knowing what you want; the easy part is getting it. Originally irked by the vague, I am now focused on the decision.

Then there are words of wisdom from Vessella: Admit to your fears; whether they be of having or not having. And here, I am bogged in world class peat....

...Because i'm sat here wondering if the Two Fears are actually entirely valid, and worthy of steering this tanker about. And then it hits me - that's a Third Fear! Bingo, i've managed to shroud the simplest of sentences in the simplest of minds with a complication so perfect it is simplicity itself.

Wednesday, July 01, 2009
Another forty eight hours
It hit me over the last weekend, that since i've come back from HK, i've managed to get sick two or three times. Which is beyond comprehension, as i've never been sick since landing in J-land, and maybe for a good couple of years before. Well, it all catches up with you one day.

The HKG kid is coming to town, last seen in fighting in TPE, for a couple of days. It'll be fast, i just gotta stay alive.

South of the Border is outstanding. The world and more - being spoiled in a deluge of everything which you knew you never deserved - in the words of Sina - Don't question it.

Reading very little - but pretending to skim through Yes Man
Listening to Rodrigo y Gabriela
Waiting for my contract to expire for a 3Gs
Cooking paella
Drinking sangria
Going to the beach
Considering Nepal for September
Watching fora.tv

Tuesday, March 03, 2009
You know that new sound you've been looking for? Well, listen to this
All in a twelve hours:
- i talked my way out of a job
- the cinema was assumed canceled
- the day walker absconded
- LKF didnt overlap, perfectly
- the man about the dog the next day got canned

5 perfect hits - i can only hope my ears get delivered tomorrow so I can shut myself out from this Oh So Cool planet earth.

On the good side - listening to Michael Franti; finishing Choke and now onto Ugly Americans.

A week later and i'm filled with options, and uncertainty of what I actually want in a job. Queue Romina - I should know what I want and stop being afraid to say it. And now I know - it's not of import.

Monday, February 23, 2009
Yes We Black
Naeba: So I prop up the snowboard and bounce toward the cafeteria. There's a J-kid with a floppy hat, styled up, looks like he's propping up the door for me, He mumbles something, with heavy gums, and now I'm uncertain whether this is door courtesy or Hi-Five. Wakanai. "YES WE CAN" and he's defo going for the Hi-Five. Never leave a man hanging - I slap back - "Go Japan; Yes We Can".

Then it hit me - he thought I was Black. Killa.

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