Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Ask the questions later; raise your .45
Today was a fantastic day. Boss-man took me to the datacentre, and we stopped when getting back to the office at a supermarket. I saw some bacon. I wanted it. I salivated. I needed it. Eating dinner in costs far more than eating dinner out in Japan, if you're not a family. So, once in a way, I treat myself to eating in. And today was such a day. Left work late, following a short run, felt good. Spent about 15quid on the basics, and some more on the wine, went home, and starting cooking a Pig. Ate like a horse. Conversation with the girls. Haruka complaining about a guy she went on a date with, who talked about his rabbits, and how he loved them, and how he loved to play with them. Shortly afterwards, she left for bed, joking that she was off to play with her rabbits. I creased into laughter, and unfortunately she saw the humour. Damn those who are fluent in both language and culture.
Junko showed me some art books. Much pointing, much wrestling with the dictionary, much nodding, but i think I understand. Need to get motivated for stenciling.
I figured what makes me so useless in a job. I always knew that I lacked technical ability, but I also knew that this wasn't the only issue. I'm a joker. Not a smoker or a midnight toker (well, just sometimes) but I can't be serious. Boss man is interpreted by all as super smart. And ok, he is smart, but this isn't the only reason why he's leagues above me. He is leagues above me because he's serious. "Somebody's coming up. Somebody serious." (Leon, fools). Perhaps being permanent is not for me. Perhaps I'm a contractor-scum for life. Shogenai. I'll wait this one out, 1 year. But maybe, meanwhile, i'll try to be serious.
conversation with Ben, me complaining about the company:
bejn says:
bit of an oxymoron really - "corporate culture"
got an email from Onion, him complaining about something utterly inconsequential. you can take the hair off a goth, but the misdirected anger dont get trimmed.
>have just lost a small sum of money playing poker with friends, I think the larger sum of money I spent on lager may have something to with my loss. It certainly has something to do with my irrational anger. ahh the rage.
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