danieru in tokyo
Friday, January 28, 2005
Another Boring Meeting
And KY needs to write something down. Signals to well dressed woman sitting next to him to surrender pencil. Woman obliges. KY jots pointless items on notepad. Proceeds to doodling. Doodling leads to dangerous pen-in-mouth fidgets. I tap KY and inform him that the Mont Blanc he has out on loan is valued at a greater figure to that of the GDP per capita of Tonga (over £150 if you cant be bothered to follow the link). He laughs, asks me why I think he is so gullable, and continues to chew on pen. NO - seriously man - don't do that. Yeah, yeah, whatever. Grimace.
Acerbic Dom is back in town. I made one of those bad phonecalls -
Cynic: Ring ring....
Dom: "Hiya Dan, how are you going?"
"how are you going" is a particularly annoying Aussie trait
Cynic: "Scheiße - I just called the wrong Dom!"
Dom: "Serious?"
Cynic: "yeah man, sorry...."
now i'm guilt ridden, and we both feel obliged to make petty conversation for a few minutes
Cynic: "anyway, how's it going?"
..... blah blah blah for 4minutes and 38seconds.
and then hang up.
Cynic: Ring ring....
Dom: "Hey Dan"
Cynic: "Assembly bar, 15minutes"
Dom: "I'll be there in 20"
and then hang up.
Thursday, January 27, 2005
IRECA or just The Beta Band?
RV is a great believer in ancient mystism, she's currently focussing on something called IRECA which concerns the transfer of energy and promoting wellbeing. Reffered to as HogWash, by Cynic who reads this. Instead of enduring breathing excercises for 20minutes, I simply cranked up the High Fidelity Soundtrack. And spirits were lifted. The Mesopotamians didn't know what they were missing. Mood altering melodies. Better value for money than narcotics.
Question: Are the young curious, or are the old ambivalent?
Wish: At work, meetings are tiresome - if Moses turned up at one, he would be sure to provide more than stone tablets. This is because he had charisma. I bet he'd storm in, assume control, dictate minutes, bullet directives/actions/tasks in a manner befitting that of Mongol warlord and motivate. Within minutes, instead of gazing in a limp, mindless trance across the conference table all attending parties would be compelled into a sole belief of success within minutes. And nobody would be distracted into thinking about shaving their neighbours cat.
I want Moses to be my next Project Manager.
Dammit. Nightshift is messing with my timezone. MIssed my first evening class.
Nightshift gave me the opportunity to make telephone calls to people in different timezones. JT swears blind that I am a dead ringer for an actor in Shaun of the Dead, and has become the first girl to disrepect the Smart Car. Anguish.
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
Marooned in EH54
MC came off shift when i walked into the office today at 11pm, and swung by for some banter. I told him that i'd run him up to the train station at 11.30. Unfortunately, I got dragged into a meeting, which finished long after the last train left Livingston for Edinburgh.
His Options:
1. Get a taxi home. This will cost £25. A large sum of money - but MC wants to spend this money so that he can get home early and go to sleep. The weak option.
2. Capitalise on time the time by finalising and printing his CV, and then applying for jobs.
3. Run the 18miles home. This will make him hardcore, and he will have a story.
4. Convince me to drive him home. Not happening.
5. Wait until 7am, and I will drive him home when i finish work.
Although one cannot forget that MC was the man, who, just over a year ago, rumaged through a dustbin on the street outside Casa Todd, and produced a half eaten pizza. He ate it.
In true Campbell style, he has found a pizza that someone has leftover on the desk, and is eating it. There is no way to determine how long the pizza has been on the desk - as we do not even know to whom it once belonged. His only comment was "Although it wasn't warm, it was soothing and satisfying". I feel queasy.
Update - 1.40am : A sixth option has been resourced. Through the kindness of a security gaurd, MC has allowed to sleep in the nurses room until 6am.
Family Disputes
I always wondered why it took so long for my Dad to break off contact with his elder sister, who in my view was a superb manipulator. He just didn't want to see what kind of an evil witch she was.
Cumulus Behemouth stands tall over MC's career prospects in a callcentre. And yet he waits. And now I understand exactly why it happens - hope. If you ignore the knock knock knocking from your engine, then it might not need the oil change. After all, every week lottery winners prove that there is always a chance, and you might just get lucky. And after all the good that you've seen in a person, maybe they aren't going to leave you paddle-less, up Creek Faeces. The camel's back will break at some point, sure, but each person has a different threshold for the burden. When your heart fails, follow your head. It's all you have left.
Monday, January 24, 2005
Compos Mentis
Been strumming off-key lately, so it's time for a bout of excercise. DM destroyed me 5-0 in badminton earlier today, and after a lunchtime beer and burger it's time to sleep in preparation for the shift work.
The town feels so strange during the working week. Busy and intense on the streets, Slow and relaxed in the shops. Repaired my spectacles, which due to my continuing clumsiness were smashed on a door frame.
Sunday squash with KM is normally an excuse for life philosophy. KM is risk averse - "I need to know my life goals now, and I need to start making tracks for them." Dude, you're in your twenties. How can you ever expect to rationalise the feelings of a 40 year old? The year 2020 will be a different place. Besides, Just For Men will have improved, and i'm sure the second hand car market will be more bouyant.
Saturday, January 22, 2005
Stirling
Drove up to Stirling on Friday night,and encountered 4 married couples, JM and a fish supper.
KA's back garden:
Daysleeper Fear: Nightshift begins next week. How, why and what are just three of the unanswered questions about this alteration to my life.
Friday, January 21, 2005
Setup
## A Blog post I will probably regret, but need to ink out for sanity reasons alone.
I've never really understood the motivations behind cupid playing. SK is happily in a relationship, so why the non-stop determination to set me up with one of her friends?
A simple 'Err - i don't really want a relationship right now' doesn't wash down, because apparently everybody wants a relationship, whether they know it or not. Then there's the scary stuff -
"She is really nice. Even if you just get a new friend I think you will really like her. She is truly a beautiful person."
Sure, now you've convinced me that you're both fricking crackers, and my enthusiasm for attending your dinner party is waning. To say the least.
But i think i've cracked it: There must be a selfish reason for a setup, as everyone invariably acts in their own self interest. Sometimes it's the favour element, but I reckon i've found another reason. As the person in a relationship settles with the status quo, and the intoxicating joy and hope that surrounds the beggining of a relationship fades, they want it back. Without losing what they have.
Does SK want to relive, behind safety goggles, the initial romance between her and DM?
Life's Pure Pleasures
Invariably subjective to individual tastes, but many would classify driving at night as one.
Took RA + brother + cousin out to the Pentlands at midnight, and snaked home via Arthur's seat. Brrrr it was baltic.
Puerile Humour
Dinnertime, and there isn't enough chairs at the dining table. Sonia, RA's cousin, keen to learn English, points across to the chair and asks RA:
Sonia: "Que cose?"
RA: "Dick."
Sonia to Cynic: "Daniel, I want one more dick."
In Britain, a packet of cigarettes bears the warning:
Smoking Causes Fatal Lung or
Smoking Kills Your Unborn Baby
In Italy, a packet of cigarettes bears the warning:
Smoking Gives You Bad Skin
Thursday, January 20, 2005
Marriage
Had to tell AL this morning over breakfast that I can't make it to her wedding.
Her retort: Don't worry, I'm sure you'll make it to the next one.
Jazz, LG & LL
LG returns from a 3 week holiday in Oz, with a diamond studded Tag on one hand, and a heavy Tiffany bracelet on the other.
LG: "I'm going to help underprivileged kids in Kenya, after I finish this contract"
Karma isn't calculated with an Excel spreadsheet, my dear.
LL shows up at Henry's Cellar bar a little later. Thank Beer, I was far from lucid at this point. Single sex schooling is a problem you keep for life - being out with 2 girls is never going to be comfortable.
The quintet was fantastic, and now I want to play Sax. It turns out that LG plays sax, and used to cycle to school. Girl called Lisa who cycles to school with a saxophone - sound familiar?
Drove down to the Firestation, and order cocktails. Reminiscence and the small world feeling, as LL reveals she did her masters in Bristol, around the time I was there. And knew of the legends of Bracken Hill. Eek.
LL: Didn't I see you see you in Sainsbury's once as well?
Cynic: Yeah, you know, a guys gotta eat sometime...
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
Silence
What Maisie Knew, Henry James:
"There was an extraordinary mute passage between her vision of this vision of his, his vision of her vision, and her vision of his vision of her vision."
And then lies today, as some manager type approaches me in the corridor:
MT: "Are you back as a contractor?"
Cynic: "Yes" ....feeling sheepish about my T-shirt that reads "Check out my socks, do they match?"
MT: "I didn't think they did that sort of thing"
Cynic: "Well, it had been about a year and a half"
// cough - lies
MT: "hmmm"
Cynic: "and Adabas skills are hard to come by"
// Cynic hurries away, expecting to see his contract set on fire from the heat of envy alone.
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Loss
It has often been said that there is nothing sadder than a parent outliving their child. A number of years ago, I was at the funeral of a close friend. In hindsight, I feel all I did was watch his mother grieve. Psychologists will tell us about the stages that she will go through, a self prescribed journey through denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. She will learn that she can live without him, that there are other pleasures in life. And then her life will be back. Or will it? She will always miss him, and wish for him to be back, despite the fact that he is now numb to the pains of the world.
Are there things in life you can't give up on? (discounting Playstation games)
Update: The answer, according to Buddha, is No. You can distance yourself from everything close so that it's demise will not cause you anguish.
Which I still do not understand, because as humans, we are proud. Example:
You distance yourself from your DVD collection
It burns
You feel no pain. Thus you have preemptively make a win with no feeling of loss.
There are two contra stances here:
1. You will have never experienced any joy in ownership, as fleeting and insubstantial as it may be.
2. You will have gained a fondness for the control of your mind - a possesion in itself.
Monday, January 17, 2005
RP
Radio 4 this morning, talking about accents. Source on the web:
http://www.yaelf.com/rp.shtml
Internationally, largely as a result of the BBC, there is only 1 accent that is universally understood. It is given the title Received Pronunciation, and is something, which can work for or against you, depending on your placement within the social fabric.
So, from now on, I can stop calling people posh, and use the term RP.
Chance Encounters of 3 Kinds
This week saw three chance encounters, with people i have not seen in a long time. in reverse chronological order:
GH. Last seen May 2004. Without earings this time. not heard from since we met up randomly on a Thai island so many months ago, and spent a couple of weeks destroying our livers together with Beer Chang, and cruising around on mopeds.
RG. Last seen / heard from over a year ago. we both made half hearted efforts to find a slot in our lives to play squash sometime. I am aware that he will wipe the floor of the court with my post Christmas spherical body. Hence half hearted.
HS. Last seen August. A good person to go to Henry's Jazz Cellar with maybe.
Sunday, January 16, 2005
If you're not sure, just deny it
The scientists watching Titan right now, are getting excited, hoping to find simplistic organic life on the moon. Creationists around the world are getting ready to dismiss their claims as nonsense, invented merely to discredit the Bible, and regain momentum behind 'what is only a theory' - Darwinism.
If you're not sure how to engage your enemy, do not. Which is why the Emperor of France never got Russia
MC cooked up a giant feast yesterday, prior to The Cinema. Proving, again, yesterday that it is a fine place to meet up with people, and waste time, even if the film is rubbish. Team America was not funny, but the evening turned out well. The cinema is also Large Group friendly, and none of the group separation techniques we required to get into pubs later that evening, needed to be employed at the UGC.
I am not sure what makes a good night. Is it the company, the conversation, the music, the crowd or the venue? Perhaps they all just minor contributors to your state of mind, which appears to be the only thing that matters. Solitary kid in the corner buzzing from ecky is going to have a better time than divorced-last-week man out with all his closest friends. So i guess, the pub is just an accentuator of your current temperament. I felt good.
Lesson for this week: That Ecko clothes are rubbish, because everybody is wearing them, and the designs are too garish anyway.
Lesson from RV this week: Never bother lying to yourself.
Saturday, January 15, 2005
The Return
RM returns to Sconny Botland after a full year of walking the earth. Greyfriars Bobby, a drinken. So, what happened in a year? Stuff, you know. So, what's changed here? Stuff, you know.
MC - no change
IT - no change
KM - moved back to Edinburgh. No change
AF - passed his exams. remains as paranoid as ever. No change.
Cynic - went away, came back. no change.
All in all, nothing has really happened. And he remains the social introvert he was, before he boarded that plane, a whole year ago.
A few things I recall during the night are:
a) managing to convince the woman at the club that i was a student, and saving myself the whole £2 in entrance fee.
b) being unnerved by AM's extreme familiarity with premium rate chatlines
c) IT creasing into laughter, whilst observing unattractive indian guy dancing with with hot blonde chick, needling me that 'there is always a chance'
d) returning home and insulting RV for being unmarriable and lardy. Her retort was a right foot body blow. ;-)
Scared
Sneeze. The precursor to a cold. The result of a cold is a day away from work sick. A day away from work, when not on holiday, is defined as A Waste Of Money for someone that is paid by the day. A frightening prospect , and one that requires avoidance.
Lemsips were stolen from a colleague. Well, he probably gave me the cold in the first place.
Permanent staff, cowering under the parasol of Sick Pay, are known for taking days off for paper cuts. I am expecting a rush of permanent staff to start licking my sneezes to get some of those golden germs for themselves.
Friday, January 14, 2005
There is something quite disturbing
About the fact that the two people sitting next to me appear symmetrical. To each other.
Thursday, January 13, 2005
Is there such thing as a friend?
An Erdinger fueled debate with AM hit the When Harry Met Sally question - can heterosexual members of the opposite sex be friends?
His reckoning is straightforward, yet perhaps more conservative than contemporary thinking:
Only after a man and woman have been in a relationship together, can they ever go platonic.
A more progressive, yet cynical (surprise) approach could be:
There is no such thing as a friend. Desire is all that matters.
I once said that I would drink with anyone. If, say Mussolini turned up, I would just avoid discussing African foreign policy. I needed someone to prop up the bar, and he was around. Every person you interact with, you do so to serve your own ends. Some people inspire you, some people open your mind, and so on. And some people, you give to. They fool you into believing, for even a fleeting moment, that in some way, you have a contribution to make back into the world from which you have taken so very much - and make you feel valued. All these interactions develop our character, and translate to a feeling of progress.
This theory shines in the explanation of how people can drop in, and drop back out of your life, forever, depending on the phase that you were experiencing at the time. Losing a friend can be percieved as a good thing, a sign of progress.
The sex of the friend is pertinent to the nature of the relationship, sure, but in the same way that the haircut, music taste or simple 'right here, right now' matter.
Solititude is frightening, because we will cease to progress.
Which brings me to The Life Of Brian. A man so completely at one with himself, that he could abstain from human interaction for 18 years:
- FOLLOWERS:
- Master! Master!...
- BRIAN:
- Hey! Is there another way down?
-
- Is there another path down to the river?
- SIMON THE HOLY MAN:
- Mmmmmmm.
- BRIAN:
- Please! Please help me! I've got to get--
- SIMON:
- Mm.
- [whump]
- Oh, my foot! Oh!
- BRIAN:
- Shhhh.
- SIMON:
- Oh, damn, damn, damn!
- BRIAN:
- Well, I'm sorry. Shhh.
- SIMON:
- Oh, damn, damn, and blast it!
- BRIAN:
- I'm sorry. Shhhh!
- SIMON:
- Don't you 'shhhh' me. Eighteen years of total silence, and you 'shhhh' me!
- BRIAN:
- What?
- SIMON:
- I've kept my vow for eighteen years. Not a single, recognisable, articulate sound has passed my lips.
- BRIAN:
- Oh, please. Could you be quiet for another five minutes?
- SIMON:
- Oh, it doesn't matter now. I might as well enjoy myself. The times in the last eighteen years I've wanted to shout and sing and...
- BRIAN:
- Shhhh.
- SIMON:
- ...scream my name out! Oh, I'm alive!
-
Lifestyles
Bloke who sits behind me never does any work. Just sits about listening to iTunes and killing time by working out what he is going to spend the money on at amazon.
Another in the office works 12 hours per day, and 3 or 4 on weekends. For free.
Yet another works away from his wife and kids Mon-Fri and only sees his home on the weekends. And loves the setup, which allows him to avoid contact with overbearing missus for 4 relaxed days.
The disparity amazes me.
I've been thinking.... a better phrase for "i dunno" in consultant-speak: "causatum abstruse at nonce".
Monday, January 10, 2005
Exercise and Limitations
Worked off the Medieval sized feast that was cooked up yesterday by RA with an early game of squash with KM. AND BEAT HIM!!! Stroll home at 11am, and invent the Perfect Breakfast - scrambled egg with smoked salmon and olives. Served with cranberry juice and muffins. Stuffed and lethargic, RV and RH discover an exercise book. "Do you want to have a go?" they ask. Hmm; reckoning that, despite a good jog yesterday and squash today, a quick shot of arm flailing with a couple of girls could never be taxing. An hour later, my triceps were on fire. I gave up pretending it didn't hurt. Perhaps yoga could be a Good Thing . Texted HP and requested to tag along to the next session.
Saturday, January 08, 2005
Terramoto
4am: Knock knock on my bedroom door
Cynic: yeah
RA: I AM ROCCO
Cynic: yeah man, it's 4am
RA: My heart, it is.... terramoto
(RA gestures, thumping chest with fist)
Cynic: It's the drugs, dude, you've had a bad hit
RA: NO - it cannot be, i think that it is the tiramasu
Cynic: Have a warm drink. Relax - it'll pass soon
RA: NO - i am relax. But still, terramoto
Cynic: What does terramoto mean?
RA: Like, the ground is shaking.
Cynic: Earthquake, like in Asia?
RA: Yes, but in my heart.
Cynic: Ain't no tiramasu doing that to you - it's the drugs. I've seen it before, relax, it'll pass.
RA: Terramoto
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
altruism is as dead as alchemy
If there was ever a time where politicians, celebrities and all the other scum of the planet demonstrated the ability to flip side someone else's misfortune into a personal high profile halo harvesting, kudos gathering mission. Instant karma may have taken out some Hindu's down South, but now their are league tables for country donations, fighting over interest relief, published celebrity donations all fighting for the scraps of karma left from the misery of others.
The US has a perfect opportunity to make peace with the Muslim world after stealing all their black gold.
The Tories have a chance to stab at Blair and his boys for anything and everything that they can, like children.
And where does the aid go? No doubt enormous reconstruction projects will be undertaken, all by Western companies. This means our donations are going straight back into the hands of the the large engineering companies. Some fat man in the West is getting fatter. Which is why Gordon Brown is insisting that if interest repayments are lifted for a while, that the money saved must go directly into reconstruction. That fat man donated to the Labour government last year....
On the other hand, alchemy may exist. A lot of cash is about to be made from the reconstruction projects, and it's all come outta nowhere. Time to buy stock in large construction companies.
// this thought was conceived whilst O.D.ing on Morcheeba - what would I do without my ipod?
Quality Control
I need a better word than 'arghhh'. The toothbrush snapped in my face yesterday.
And, I got this email for leaving 3 quid on my desk, overnight:
Hi Cynic,
I noticed last night that you left a small amount of cash, and a girovend card on your desk unattended. In the interest of Security it would be appreciated if in the future such items could either be locked away or at the very least be put out of sight.
Your help in this matter would be very much appreciated.
Regards,
Anal walky talky man,
Security Team Leader
Work avoidance policy still holds strong, as i have now managed to install a chess game on my PC.
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
Uncouth
The only place that you will ever find the unwashed buggy pushing teenagers and foreign students together - Lidl. Bought more than I could carry for seven of the Queen's pounds, and made a dash for my safety locked car. Head back home, and procrastinate over cleaning the flat.
Then RV calls - just to say she's arriving back TODAY. Fear of reprisal - for degenerating the flat to squalor - spawned a new motivation to clean. Two hours later, a new flat. Cooked. RA shows up, sober. As I started to eat, RA pointed out what makes me more uncouth than your average uncultured troglodyte - tables, chairs, cutlery and even plates are passed in favour of eating standing up, straight out of the pot, in the kitchen, with a ladle. "We have a table, perhaps you should use it". I did. And I ate slowly. An altogether foreign surreal experience, and almost worthy of repetition.
Went to see the parliament building this morning. Feels like 'Nam with all that bamboo. Glad it was free. Sorta. THIRTY OF MY POUNDS are now going towards a parking fine, for leaving a car on a single yellow during a bank holiday. Grrrrrr.
Sunday, January 02, 2005
Directionless
100 years ago, society was ruddered, tempered and destined. A progressive decadent movement over the years spurned conformity and fate in favour of existentialism. Where to now? Peaks and troughs are the pattern of prior to any balance. The implication here is that there will be a Lost Generation who is truly unleashed, followed by a reversal into a moulded society.
The Movie Script: already made; Gattaca
My take is not genetic; I think it can happen sooner. Balance again: to control output you need to choke input. Ignore the internet for a moment. Internationalisation of media corporations was the first step, but the popular television series' have so far appeared to be local - for current adult audiences. Change may be to come, with the streamlining of children's programming already happening across the globe. Disney and Nicolodeon are finding that their programmes will work throughout Europe and America seamlessly. Perhaps generation after the Playstation Generation will have borderless commonalities.
This equates to counter culture movements actually being aligned and fixed around international corporate predetermined recipes. Misoginy and racism will yield to sanctioned class hatred. But, since schemies are destined to inherit the world, I'm scared.
Note -
Acknowledging the existence of the internet: The breakers have been put on; the sheer mass of media available snowballs. This, like everything will will consolidate, and perhaps go the way of television. I guess I'm saying that television is ahead of the internet, from the perspective of the corporate format. A grand assumption no doubt.
on a separate note - Holst's Saturn. Today I feel the descent to insanity coupled with uninspired boredom.
Unplanned, Unexpectant
and then you're not displeased however things turn out.
Started yesterday's session by telling JB that tax on petrol was not nearly high enough, illustrating that average pleb such as himself were capable of owning and heavily utilizing an unnecessarily powerful Audi. He was displeased. JB has changed somewhat with marriage - perhaps because he is unable to afford us a running commentary at the bar, with his opinion on the opposite sex, in front of The Missus. The real surprise came when he declared that he turned down travel abroad in favour of weekly commutes in the Midlands. Pipe and slippers anyone?
PH cunningly used a snide remark I made to his advantage. I laughed when he suggested that his Missus was going to take a taxi; she was informed, rebellious pride invoked, bus was taken instead, Cynic is now a sworn enemy. One less wedding list to sift through, perhaps.
My present choice of car came under fire, yet again, which is somewhat reassuring, given the lack of taste in the voicers of this opinion.
PH & JB & DI then sod off to buy fudge, or whatever middleclass pro-establishment middle england Daily Mail readers do in their spare time; not to be heard from again.
Then what might well have been a 10 hour stint at a single bar, which in hindsight was far less boring than it could have been. ET, who i have only met perhaps once or twice before, served well to annoy AF, with laborious recants on how wonderful the world of accounting is. Far more amusing than this, was witnessing the same story behing thrust upon a group of girls whom ET presumed interested in the world of double entry book keeping.
AM + HP + sibling + sibling's husband showed up later. Sibling confessed to having teenage crush on Obi Wan Kanobi. My attempt to conceal a disturbed look failed.
Today is recovery day, which involved arriving sitting in a Hog's Head bar for 5 hours with (free) tap water, current book and a copy of The Economist.
- July 2011
- December 2010
- November 2010
- October 2010
- October 2009
- July 2009
- March 2009
- February 2009
- January 2009
- December 2008
- October 2008
- September 2008
- August 2008
- July 2008
- June 2008
- May 2008
- April 2008
- March 2008
- December 2007
- October 2007
- September 2007
- August 2007
- July 2007
- June 2007
- March 2007
- February 2007
- December 2006
- November 2006
- October 2006
- September 2006
- August 2006
- July 2006
- June 2006
- May 2006
- April 2006
- March 2006
- February 2006
- January 2006
- December 2005
- November 2005
- October 2005
- September 2005
- August 2005
- July 2005
- June 2005
- May 2005
- April 2005
- March 2005
- February 2005
- January 2005
- December 2004
- November 2004
- October 2004
- September 2004
- August 2004
- July 2004
- June 2004
- May 2004
- April 2004
- March 2004