danieru in tokyo
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Exacerbating the mood
The rain began around the time i woke up on Saturday with no intention of letting up until we're forced to return to work on Monday. Curses to the beast of the sky. As a consequence, i've declined leaving the flat, which has meant shuffling and reorganising yet little else. This enforced cabin fever is no good for the soul.
Last weekend was astonishing. There was tennis, swimming, cycling, photographs in Omotesando at night and the driving range. The sports madness spilled into the week, with more swimming, futsal, and some cautious running. Less on the drinking. Until Friday where Alex J's birthday caused me to knock back seven or fourteen somethings. Self harm isn't self harm if you're buying the round - then it's a group thing - entirely socially acceptable.
The Boss is easier to get along with these days. The Bigger Boss requested me on a longstay jolly in SG, and like any jolly, it's impossible to refuse. And yet, I watched the movie Closer today, originally recommended by RV's mother years ago...but watched only now. The same could be said for her; so I called, no answer. Back to the movie - brimming with quotable jibberish that i love far too much than is healthy - it's great because it shows men as entirely devoid of senses needed to guard territory, and yet they try, as they must.
Earlier this week, there was a drunken moment at a party at work I was uninvited to, where I was voted "one of the more attractive" of the males in the office. All gloating aside, it's important to remember that I am in an office of geeks, where verbosity and cufflinks go very far. Justin's take on it later, whilst we attempted to destroy the calorific benefits of the futsal game earlier using Red Stripe and jerk chicken wings, was that I am not a deal closer. I'd like to think i've fixed it now - but so many tests remain....
Which takes me to "Are we to spend our whole lives being tested?" This is my new question. The previous one, asked years ago: "What will i feel when i get what I want?". The answer is two things: "Emptyness, and a burning desire for more emptyness".
The film, and the endless rain, has made me miss London that little bit. I even checked for a flight. God, what was I thinking. I've grown here. Old, but i've grown. And learnt enough to take me to closer to that man who smells of burning sulphur . I like. Just wish I had stopped at this juncture earlier - when i had hair. All good things come to those who greed for it.
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