Mars Bars
This is what happens when you have spare time, an excel spreadsheet, and a desire to compute unnecessary statistics:

Energy released during Indian Ocean Earthquake: 32 exajoules
Energy in 1 Mars Bar: 1200kilojoules
Energy released in quake in mars bar terms: 1.47 x10^13

Mars Bar weight: 54grams
Maximum tonnage in a 20 foot container: 28.15
Maximum number of 20 foot containers on largest cargo ships: 12,500

Equivalent number of cargo ships fully laden with Mars Bars required to create a 9 Moment Magnitude Earthquake: 41905
- posted by Daniel @ Wednesday, December 29, 2004 0 comments

 
Patrick Bateman
Today was Oxford Street, dodging people desperate to spend money at Top Shop. ick. Oh so many people. So there I am, iPod engaged, killing time at the entrance to some random women's clothes store with a pile of bags at my feet. Groove Armada:
close your eyes and lose the feeling that's been sinking
close your eyes and count to three
close your eyes rewind, I know just what you're thinking
close your eyes and think of me
and I had a Patrick Bateman moment. Patrick is an all time hero of mine - a guy that has no intellectual superiority above his peers, but considers himself a cut above all of them because he knows how futile and meaningless everything they strive for is. Cynical, and almost enlightened. Almost enlightened, because he still wants to Understand, and wants to be understood. Which is why he craves for the inner meaning in pointless, back of the envelope, lyrics from guys like Huey Lewis:

BATEMAN :

In 1987 Huey released this, Fore!, their most

accomplished album. I think I their undisputed masterpiece is

"HiP To Be Square," a song so catchy that most people probably

don't listen to the lyrics. But they should because it's not

just about the pleasures of conformity and the importance of

trends. It's a personal statement about the band itself.

Seek, and you shall find. Whatever you want to see.

A feeling is so much stronger than
A thought
Your eyes are wide
And though your soul
It can’t be bought
Your mind can wander

- posted by Daniel @ Tuesday, December 28, 2004 0 comments

 
Canadian immigration
AF has been shown the Canadian immigration website. A straightforward scoring system determines the likelyhood of the a sucessful application. Much to his ire, he scores lower than me. In fairness, AF should score higher. A conservative Asian retina would never, at 27 years older than the average newborn:
- forgive my current employment as a professional career
- my academic record as an achievment
- deem my financial status as acceptable
- regard the lack of permanance to my life as responsible.

it appears the Canadians are a little easier to fool. Smug.
- posted by Daniel @ Sunday, December 26, 2004 1 comments

 
Life In Transit
VS coined the phrase back in the days before the lifelong vows and morning sickness. I'm sitting here in some characterless airport terminal; pondering when my chance will arrive to be stuffed into an aluminum tube and propelled towards those glorious letters (LHR), without any comprehension of the mathematics behind this feat. Too lazy to read, to sober to stop twitching. My head submits to discordant nodding to the tune of Herbie Hancock & Gravediggaz. My liver is treated to some fine whisky courtesy of the business lounge.

I'm waiting here, i'm waiting at for the 5 o'clock bell at work, i'm waiting for the Green Light, i'm waiting for the beat to drrrrrr-op, i'm waiting for the twist in the tale, i'm waiting to understand, i'm waiting for success. some waiting good, some waiting bad.

The independent has decided to kick in the Christmas Guilt issue early. Apparently Haile Selassie's people are having pecuniary issues, kids in Darfur need my calories and being santa isn't all it's cracked up to be.
I guess this is what makes tax offsets for donations so great, but somebody needs to do the work, and i'm not feeling quite wealthy (read guilty) just yet.
I say: start fixing Africa by killing the EU farm subsidies. Build up their economy by exports of tinned and frozen food.
Although I can see why the government wont do it. A Londoner, with no farms, earns about 3x more per capita than the average jakey outside the M25. Take away their farms, and what do you have?
I'm still petitioning for placing an electric razor fence around the M25. With heavily armed Gurkha guards, regular deportations of chavscum to Inverness, and Red Ken forming a coalition with Guy Hands to run the city as an independent state. Within a decade, London should be wealthy enough to buy Texas, and close it down. Like a political loss leader, a little something to get yourself in the game. Or others out. Then we can stop bombing Aspirin factories in Sudan.


DR, horses and carriages:
DR is proving as impossible to get hold of as ever, shrink786 suggests that we give him the benefit of doubt for at least another month, before we start placing adverts of milk cartons "Have you seen this club fingered accountant with a lisp? Last seen: In Love". I hope I get to do a speech at the wedding.


- posted by Daniel @ Saturday, December 25, 2004 0 comments

 
Bezhti
a minority in the sikh community of birmingham are going nuts about a play which they find offensive. the theatre company staging it has pulled the plug on the production, over staff safety concerns, following aggressive demonstrations.
Reuters' coverage

The theatre company claims art, freedom of expression.

The Sikhs pursuing the ban on Bezhti claim that it degrades their religion and will incite racial hatred. They argue that it is a rant, not art. After all, there are many liberals who would argue that freedom of speech does not extend to socially divisive propaganda. Which explains why the government has prevented this ranter from landing on our island. Incitment of racial hatred.

There are two main items to be contended here:
Freedom of Speech - voided if racial hatred is incited
Art - voided if unable to classify item as art

What is art? Apparently, the saving shelter under which many controversial views seek refuge.

Perhaps the difference in art and rant lies in the endgame. Farrakhan's message is clear. His expression is intended to be shocking and brash. But Tracy Emin's message is clear too. The endgame is only part of the answer.

Which brings us to the briefcase in Pulp Fiction:

Vincent moves to the bed, reaches underneath it, pulling out a black snap briefcase.

VINCENT: ”Got it.”
Vincent flips the two locks, opening the case. We can't see what's inside, but a small glow emits from the case. Vincent just stares at it, transfixed.

JULES: “We happy?”
No answer from the transfixed Vincent.

JULES: “Vincent!”
Vincent looks up at Jules.

JULES: “We happy?”
Closing the case.

VINCENT: “We're happy.”

Art in this case is open to interpretation. There are a stack of diehard fans that claim that Marcellus Wallace's soul lies inside the briefcase, others which claim diamonds. In the end, it doesn't matter - and that is the distinction. Art permits the patron to form their own, personally justifiable, conclusions from the expression. Rants have no intention of this scope.

This is a rant.

- posted by Daniel @ Tuesday, December 21, 2004 1 comments

 
Disgust and the ATM
A healthy reason to avoid ATMs in the centre of town. Yesterday AF joins the queue to use the ATM. Loud, unruly associates of guy testing the Christmas Spirit of his bank attempt to distract him. Shouting and punching notwithstanding, the next step was to drop kegs and wave willy.

Oh righteous one, save me from this island of apes.

- posted by Daniel @ Monday, December 20, 2004 0 comments

 
sell your liberty for a quieter life says:
if that kirpan manages to pull an oxford educated bird, there is something wrong with this world
sell your liberty for a quieter life says:
because no white chav would be able to.
shrink786 says:
Trust me it happens in brum
shrink786 says:
Its the middle class rebellion phenomenon
sell your liberty for a quieter life says:
oic
shrink786 says:
the ultimate way for a white bird to kick her parents in the teeth is to become a bollywood bride
sell your liberty for a quieter life says:
the core foundation for a long term partnership

- posted by Daniel @ Sunday, December 19, 2004 0 comments

 
Sunday and The Office
i'm in for a couple of hours today, whilst i pretend to monitor systems (not even sure what this means, let alone entails) claim horifically inflated sums in overtime, and look for a creative pastime to develop in the next few weeks.

being here on sunday allows me to swing on the overhead metal roof supports, an act which would have met with much disapproval with your normal Monday-Friday crowd. the monkey in me has been released.

creative pastime. as a kid, i played the piano and violin. badly. classical music was all that was taught, and i hated it with the levels of passion that only a truly mentally contorted human could relate to. even today, classical music is something i want to listen to, not hum, sing or even use to alter my mood. stick it on whilst reading a book and drip feeding some Scotch into the gulliver (sic Clockwork Orange). but, being so keen on music today, it seems a waste that i can't play. time to learn again? thinking....
- posted by Daniel @ Sunday, December 19, 2004 0 comments

 
LG gets older
Another birthday, and the same Indian restaurant. This time there was the embarrassing singing Happy Birthday, and delivery of a cake with Happy 40th on it. We didn't think we could get away with Happy 21st.

Irritation. PC was left in charge of collecting the £20 from the dozen+ highly paid consultants around the table, and when the money was counted there was £40 too little. Everyone claimed to have paid. It makes you realise that PC could never make a career as a "distributor of social pharmaceuticals", and there was at least two people on the table who needed their pinky fingers chopped off.

A short drink next door, and then walk home. Sober.

- posted by Daniel @ Friday, December 17, 2004 0 comments

 
I don't think that I'm a drunkard
But it just seems to happen. The consultants of a certain software company bring a whole new meaning to the term "in vino veritas".

Got home yesterday at 7ish, went for a short run, and then JK called. 26 minutes and 44 seconds later; plate of Mexican food the size of Tijuana. Tequila (an), Corona (an), Magaritas (some), whiskies (uncountable).

Stumbled into the kitchen at 3am to find RA & cousin frying up a munchies induced feast. Capital timing. Ate. Slept through alarm. Woke up to a phonecall

JK> I'm sick
Cynic> I'm asleep.
JK> No, i'm gonna call in sick, and fly back home today
Cynic> What? Dammit - it's 9am. I started work 30 minutes ago.
JK> I can't face the day like this, i've got a meeting with a guy called Steve Martin.
Cynic> That's not his name.
JK> Perhaps this is why I should call in sick
Cynic> I've broken you.
JK> This is not to be repeated.
Cynic> See you next week.
JK> Maybe for a couple.

- posted by Daniel @ Thursday, December 16, 2004 0 comments

 
Oh God, and then it hit me
IBM insisted on buying me drinks for the bulk of the evening, and I graciously accepted their hospitatilty. This resulted in obtuse drunkness. As I stuck my head out of the window this morning, sucking in the cold air through every wanting pore in my body, it hit me - I was an annoying drunken offensive boyo last night. Dammit. Just gotta hope everyone else was drunk enough not to notice.

I witnessed street confrontation this morning. Angry pedestrestrian starts day by demanding cyclist dismount whilst on pavement. Bemused cyclist attempts to avoid pedestrian. Pedestrian cunningly jumps to other side of pavement in anticipation, and blocks cyclist. Pedestrian repeats demands that cyclist dismount. Cyclist attempts to go circumnavigate. I start shouting "FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT" in condescending schoolboy manner from my car window. Cyclists repeats attempt at circumnavigation of few more times, then eventually yields to demand of breifcase weilding middle aged man.

- posted by Daniel @ Wednesday, December 15, 2004 0 comments

 
For God's sake man, just have a wash!
I'll even pay you. The Australian government has decided that it's citizens are so hideously unhygienic, that they are handing out benefits to families promising to shower.

Link here. I guess this means that the ones who don't take the benefit will become poorer and smellier.

- posted by Daniel @ Tuesday, December 14, 2004 0 comments

 
Addictions and Predictions
Hypothesis. If the government injected a flesh eating virus into heroin, would we correct a social catastrophe in the making, correcting the breeding inbalance between the classes? (The breeding inbalance referred to stems from the notion that an educated middleclass woman becomes a mother at 36. Her undereducated equivalent is pushing a buggy at 18).

Smack junkies aside, VS has an erratic mind and an addiction to technology. A wallet threatening combination for a boy in the 21st Century. My wager, for the sum of RM100, is that he will not be able to resist buying another handphone or PDA during 2005.

- posted by Daniel @ Monday, December 13, 2004 0 comments

 
Resolutions
The following resolutions were passed on Saturday night, resultant of KM and AF's barside chatter.

RAW will not get a job outside of engineering. In fact, he will also be stuck in Scotland.
I will play squash today with KM
I must attend lectures next year.

- posted by Daniel @ Sunday, December 12, 2004 0 comments

 
GS homework + birthday
It was GS's birthday on Wednesday, but there was an assignment to finish by friday morning. So Friday night was a good excuse to have a large curry and then some whisky. Good company, surprisingly good food, and a dash of Laphroaig afterwards. :)

- posted by Daniel @ Sunday, December 12, 2004 0 comments

 
KAA has left the building
A leaving night, vast quantities of alcohol. Veritas on form, with a bloated bar tab. JM thoroughly dissapointed from being denied entry to not one but two speciality bars later in the evening, settling for a German beer cellar instead. KAA and AL were too discoordinated to open DM flat door at 3am. I helped them with the front door and caught a taxi home, wishing I had stayed to watch the theatre unfold as they progressively attempted to open every flat door going up the stairwell until the key matched.

- posted by Daniel @ Friday, December 10, 2004 0 comments

 
Coercion
I was forced to dance yesterday. One hour of salsa. One Two Three; Five Six Seven. It was okay for the first 5 minutes, acceptable for the next five, then grinning and bearing, and then "oh god, can't i just eat my dinner now". Unrelenting enthusiasm from RA in the face of this.

But that wasn't the arduous part of the night. It was the two full Earth hours that elapsed between Commence Cooking and Commence Wolfing times with regard to dinner. Attributable to the greediness in cooking two dinners. Stuffed, choking on risotto, falling asleep over Pulp Fiction, the day ended.

- posted by Daniel @ Thursday, December 09, 2004 0 comments

 
Smirk
making me smirk right now, is the feeling that i've just watched Requim For A Dream and i feel emotional ice. RV on the other hand, is scared she won't be able to sleep. My work here is done.

AM revealed himself a sociologist today. Quote about drug companies that I must remember
"If they develop a pill which cures cancer after a course of 20 pills, or use the development money to develop a pill that controls the cancer growth and treats the symptoms if taken 3 times a day for 20 years, it would be remiss of their responsibilities to their shareholders to invest in the former as opposed to the latter"



- posted by Daniel @ Wednesday, December 08, 2004 0 comments

 
Judgment
waiting to see if this database gets restored.... tick tock, tick tock. and the clock on the wall (really does) read a quarter past midnight. Time for some DJ Shadow.

attempted to watch blade runner for the nth time today, after a long break from the obsession. Back in the day, it used to play in the background like music, in a constant loop. I remember meeting this guy, aero engineer mate of SR, who thought it was surprising to find someone else who listened to U2 and watched Blade Runner. Like, duh, it defined a generation. Way to big to be cult. Anyway, it showed me that, despite Douglas Coupland's theories, GenX'rs can forget to show blanket nonchalance.

and the restore has failed. sod this for a game of soldiers, i'm going to sleep. (read: enough overtime for today)

- posted by Daniel @ Tuesday, December 07, 2004 1 comments

 
Those childhood photos
Todd meets mother, mother threatens to show him photos of me as a child. Todd very interested in getting his hands on such blackmail material. Luckily, potential embarrassment diffused, no photos were traded. Now I am biding my time until January, where a visit to Stornaway may allow me to get my hands on such blackmail material.

- posted by Daniel @ Sunday, December 05, 2004 0 comments

 
Manics in Brighton
Zip down to Brighton, watch the Manics, meet up with IT, PH, DI and ME. Crash and ME's house. Oh my, so much stuff in ME's house. He's a collector. Eclectic doesn't quite fit, scattered perhaps? Art auction stuff . Lots of it. People's houses give so much away about their tastes and personalities, but I left not really figuring out more about ME.

Then beer. Then happiness. Then the Manics. Middle class suburban kids get up on stage and moan about the Nation State, claiming to understand the feelings of 18th Century French peasant farmers. I dont buy it. A Design For Life, no. A Design for life is the song that should be sung by Bangladeshi paddy field workers, who can be sure of only one thing. Tomorrow will be hard work. Just like yesterday. There will be no Nike's, Ipod's, BMW's, fancy restaurants, Belgian beers or weekend getaways to Stockholm. We have no design, and choose. As DR once said, getting what you want is easy, knowing what you want is hard.

My soul required inflating to 20psi with helium to recover. This came in the form of pondering - I have only ever been happy twice in my life. First: Sisters graduation (both). Family, unified, without a common enemy; proud, without guilt. And sleeping on the stern of a boat drifting up the Mekong into Cambodia. Quickly developing a skin pantone that booted me down three of four Hindu castes.

As for Brighton? Didn't see that much of it. Seemed okay, i guess, and that vague impression it left me with has rather more to do with my limited expectations.

- posted by Daniel @ Sunday, December 05, 2004 0 comments

 
Eyes
Owww owwww owww and some more. KD was allowed to watch the op. Simply saying "i'm an SHO" doesn't seem to require any proof, and lets you into that secret medic circle. With both eyes patched, I was led home and slept for the rest of the day.





- posted by Daniel @ Saturday, December 04, 2004 0 comments

 
msn nic
changed from:
"born in texas to jack daniels and filtered camels" - as i am reading Vernon (God) Little, DBC Pierre.
to:
"where gordon gecko walks on water, i drain the lake" - as i am feeling particularly socialist right now. this may have something to do with me requiring the services of the NHS on Friday.

True Romance is an excellent movie, if only for the Dennis Hopper monologue lecturing a Mafioso consul on Sicilian /Moorish anthropology.

- posted by Daniel @ Thursday, December 02, 2004 0 comments