danieru in tokyo

Politik is Real said Kissinger

2011-07-02T16:48:00.002+09:00

A few have said it but the full extent of what it meant never hit me until I was in the pool today. Politics distiled to no more than it's elements is no more subtle than any other skill, but acquiring it is near impossible for me. I resist. And now I know why - essentially politics is all about being selfish. It follows that politicians are oft slated for being self serving - a tautology, I feel.

This came to mind after The Juiceman named his daughter after the bank for which he works. Surely the very pinnacle of political coups. And indescribably selfish.

i dont wanna be middle class no more.

2010-12-27T04:20:00.004+09:00

I learnt this having been to a large shopping centre in West London today. Pikeys. Everywhere. Shopping to the visa max. It's going to sound sanctimonious, but it's simpler than that: I find it hard to believe that the kids can actually afford to spend the cash that they are dropping at the sales. And yes, the obscure world of personal finance has evolved somewhat since I was an annoying twenty something peddler of alcohol and tobacco. So it's plausible I am in no place to judge. But what I do think - and this is where the possible-i'm-right comes into play - the class divide is expanding, and these guys neither understand nor care.

And it could be argued that this is my chance, to take a stand, do what I owe back to create an egalitarian society. Yet I quote Bush: I dont care. The solution I offer instead will be to leave the middle class. I'm not going to play this game anymore. Explanation:

Stick on the Buddist hat, kick back to your previous life as a French aristocrat, preferably a few decades prior to the time when you were praying to the God of Scarlet. You'll find yourself sneering down at the peasants toiling your land in something that appears to be a non-sensically mind numbing pain of labour, only to retrieve a token of thanks, which evaporated somewhere between the paymaster and house, following that familiar road which veers through the church and bar. You would have looked down on the filth ridden apes and said to yourself: Good Lord. You've got your booze and your church, and you're happy. Your children will suffer the same miserable fate as you, yet you are happy. If I were you, I would shoot the nobility. Take an axe, take a stand. And yet you won't, I would muse. Could it be that you are so pre-occupied with your wine and your clerics? Game Theory: Those that you love most will treat you the worst.

Raincheck & Back to Buddha. Do an accidental good deed and die a few dozen times, and your reincarnated back to today, landed into an obnoxious university educated computer geek who earns more than their fair share of worth in the the world. And when I look at the lemmings in the shopping centre (or modern day place of worship), devoid of the ability to do anything more than drink and shop, I feel the pains from my previous life. The peasants will never revolt: because the peasants are revolting.

Situational Friends

2010-12-19T14:50:00.001+09:00

Situtional Friends

Perhaps better phrased as strategic alliances. I'm sure there is a more tuetonic and less emotional expression which could better summarize. We cruise through school college work love in life and it's only as the pace picks up do we really form these disposable friendships which do more to dispose of our soul than they dispose of the lonliness which we are shooting at the time. It was Rajani that once told me nothing in life is fun when it's rushed. And that's what all the strategic alliances are about - I don't need this but the posture feels like it could work. And we know it doesn't.

I had a Jack with Royce and tried to fathom how and if it mattered. Why could it matter? Well for one, you are a product of your environment. And my adhoc definition of an adult is one whom shapes their own environment. So as an adult you have an obligation to yourself to immerse intellectually in a selfish manner - within a mindset that you wish to assimilate.

The Means to an End

2010-11-25T21:27:00.002+09:00

has it meant the end of me?

I went contracting in the UK because it meant i was a spectating locust of the corporate world, rather than the cog i needed to stay away from. Then came asia, then came more cash with a permanent job, and then came the notion of a 'career'. it was all so strange. in 2010 i had two great things almost every human wakes up wanting - a great profile at a respectable company and unconditional love. I knew all was good - which translated to bland, and led to arrogance in the expectation to have more. Greed has an extreme pH. The moment we lay down the litmus and see blank, we panic and submit to the sniff of sulphur.

I forgot about the means to the end - the only reason I needed to get that job was because... it was a means to an end. the only reason I wanted love.... ad infinitum.

And then I realized at 7am this morning that the means to and end has ended me. We can't see straight when the greed is quenched - blandness is blinding.

I need to make a decision as to whether I actually want a career or not. I didn't even know that I had one. Perhaps that's answered the question in itself. I'm not proud of what I do and I feel nauseous at the idea of waking up at 50 knowing this is all I achieved was a series of plastic landmarks in the eyes of the shareholders.

I can quote Carney and talk about The End; but I dont feel it. I need to know what The End is, otherwise I can't argue that the present is the vehicle towards it. Otherwise.... this is The End.

2009 was fun

2010-10-09T14:16:00.004+09:00

I never summarized the year. Probably because it was the best one ever. Everything that happened made we wake up mid year and write to K Lee asking "how do i sell?" Rationale: When you are at the top, and everything is perfect, there is only one direction. And I knew everything was perfect. But I didn't know how to sell or how to ensure that I checked out of the game and kept all the prizes. He didn't know what I was talking about or how to respond. Which figures, because he is now a Life Coach. So I experienced The Blip which blew my mind heart and soul.

In 2009, there was travel too: Taipei + Okinawa were the new places.

Although work was a downer, as I began to lose the influence of the boss, it could have been to doing less work (as the 8-6 dream finally happened). But the reality was that was a good thing. I got the salary and stole a life - sounds like a fair trade to me.

Did a load of cycling, saw more of Japan, scored a motorcyle licence. I watched as the yen flew skywards further than imagined possible, and plotted to short it. Then I vowed to leave this land - target end of 2011. The trouble is, I simply do not know where to go (dot dot dot)

humans evolved

2009-10-25T23:41:00.004+09:00

Back in the nineties, the madcap conspiracy monkeys believed that the government was the sole enemy of the people. Controlling the people for an alternate purpose which was never entirely lucid.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_X-Files

We've focussed our hatred on MegaBank these days.

Awake at 03:00 on a school night

2009-07-16T02:27:00.003+09:00

Stone cold sober, and unable to sleep. Something's bugging me, and annoyingly, now that i've worked out what it is, it's troubling all the more. I used to believe that you decided what the stress was, it evaporated into a stratospheric cloud eclipsed by sunshine. Ain't no sunshine today.

The wisdom of Rajani has the answer: The difficult part is knowing what you want; the easy part is getting it. Originally irked by the vague, I am now focused on the decision.

Then there are words of wisdom from Vessella: Admit to your fears; whether they be of having or not having. And here, I am bogged in world class peat....

...Because i'm sat here wondering if the Two Fears are actually entirely valid, and worthy of steering this tanker about. And then it hits me - that's a Third Fear! Bingo, i've managed to shroud the simplest of sentences in the simplest of minds with a complication so perfect it is simplicity itself.

Another forty eight hours

2009-07-01T21:01:00.002+09:00

It hit me over the last weekend, that since i've come back from HK, i've managed to get sick two or three times. Which is beyond comprehension, as i've never been sick since landing in J-land, and maybe for a good couple of years before. Well, it all catches up with you one day.

The HKG kid is coming to town, last seen in fighting in TPE, for a couple of days. It'll be fast, i just gotta stay alive.

South of the Border is outstanding. The world and more - being spoiled in a deluge of everything which you knew you never deserved - in the words of Sina - Don't question it.

Reading very little - but pretending to skim through Yes Man
Listening to Rodrigo y Gabriela
Waiting for my contract to expire for a 3Gs
Cooking paella
Drinking sangria
Going to the beach
Considering Nepal for September
Watching fora.tv

You know that new sound you've been looking for? Well, listen to this

2009-03-03T21:26:00.004+09:00

All in a twelve hours:
- i talked my way out of a job
- the cinema was assumed canceled
- the day walker absconded
- LKF didnt overlap, perfectly
- the man about the dog the next day got canned

5 perfect hits - i can only hope my ears get delivered tomorrow so I can shut myself out from this Oh So Cool planet earth.

On the good side - listening to Michael Franti; finishing Choke and now onto Ugly Americans.

++++
A week later and i'm filled with options, and uncertainty of what I actually want in a job. Queue Romina - I should know what I want and stop being afraid to say it. And now I know - it's not of import.

Yes We Black

2009-02-23T23:35:00.003+09:00

Naeba: So I prop up the snowboard and bounce toward the cafeteria. There's a J-kid with a floppy hat, styled up, looks like he's propping up the door for me, He mumbles something, with heavy gums, and now I'm uncertain whether this is door courtesy or Hi-Five. Wakanai. "YES WE CAN" and he's defo going for the Hi-Five. Never leave a man hanging - I slap back - "Go Japan; Yes We Can".

Then it hit me - he thought I was Black. Killa.

2008 Fun

2009-01-01T01:11:00.001+09:00

Wow - so another year just slipped through the net and I've got to write a quitty ditty about Daniel and Life.

2008 kicked off with me a damn sight thinner - ready to kick it in the Tokyo Marathon. My disregard for stretching and the basic of ideas for keeping the system oiled caught up with me, and destroyed my knee and the hopes of getting a good time. Nonetheless - competing is everything, and that, I did.
Then, blast off to Hawaii, one of the coolest islands in the world.
Cycled about 150 clicks from Nikko to Tokyo.
Got a two week company holiday in Singapore.
Finally got to India
Learnt to swim
Got a meaningless title at the workplace

Turkeys And Obama

2008-12-18T23:46:00.001+09:00

There is a theory that says, somewhere, amongst a throng of hot chicks, there is Always One Douche Bag. Just hanging out, and catching some of the breeze in a mindless world that no-one can explain. It doesn't make sense, and it doesn't need to - it just is. And now, finally, there is a website that pays homage to inevitability that is - "http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/". Documented proof of the phenomenon we are all too eager to shy away from acknowledging. For if we did, Questions would arise. Yet, the solution to all the questions is moot when you consider the other side of the looking glass - "I wanna be one of those douchebags". Really - that's all there is to it - grab your obnoxious pill, and buckle up - this journey ends gloriously.

Amerika Roks. OK, I'm a little p1shed off about the death of Glass-Stegall - for it is better to die fighting than sip from the cup of an enemy - but that aside, three Turkey dinners resurrected and the election of a man who looks likely to get more knickers than than shoes thrown at him is good. I hope he clips Helicopter Ben.

Tomorrow is "Communications Day". Where sandals will be thrown at us, having taken all year, and we will award desperately close to Sod All. I dont know why we do it - first there was "Runner's High"; perhaps now there is "Deliver-er's High". Gawd noes. I've got to start working on a plan for next year.....

Fudging Lucifer's tax returns

2008-10-12T13:15:00.006+09:00

Arrogance: The gulf between the Ordinary and the Great is truly witnessed under pressure; only the latter will excel. My new hero is Mike Lewis I'm devolving into a slob. The dodgy knee and the inability to swim has finally got to the gut. Had a great early Thanksgiving dinner in Cravings last night and actually managed to end the night early.

Looking forward to doing less this long weekend:
Watching: Deadwood
Listening to: Ozomatli
Reading: Brett Easton Ellis - Less than zero
Skimming: Hipsters Handbook
Drinking: Caol Isla
Wearing: Fourstar hoodie

The weekend just back was debauchery continuous - squeezed by miracle into liver and time. Friday started with an early finish from work, a swim, a wagyu steak that the cow herself would be proud of, followed by Texas Hold'em at Fell's killa apartment Ebisu. The Saturday was booked out for the return party of Lee & JB, a quick peek at the ballet, and a night that ended in Yoshinoya at 5am over two bowls of their largest special.

Humanity Killed The Cat

2008-10-12T00:17:00.003+09:00

In the next few years, we may see some serious unemployment. That's good news for the Arts - it does appear that the strongest cause for artists to get on their bike and start producing the good stuff is economic recession. Think of all the garbage we've had to put up with recently, as the markets soared.

Took a gander around Nippori today, taking photographs. Another fine day, making me feel grateful for living in a big, old, dense city. Some awesome finds, too be uploaded. And I'm starting to understand how to use colour with the Ricoh. Now i'm dreaming of a Canonet

Good - Just watched Nordkraft.
Good - Just listened to Ozomatli
Bad - Not reading
Bad - Not sweating

The Irony of it

2008-09-30T23:41:00.003+09:00

is that most of these protestors are not pro-capitalist. Which means, they do, in theory, support the notion government subsidies and handouts. It's just that not all of them understand how Hank buying covered bonds is going to keep food on the table.

As an uber capitalist pseudo hippy; despite the knowledge that my job is at risk; I'm partial to the drama. Release the hot ones and let freedom reign.

power to the short men

2008-09-18T22:25:00.004+09:00

And there we have it - bye bye Bear, Lehman, Merrill, HBOS and maybe Morgan & McQuarie. The news can be recalled anytime, but the memories of how I felt, is what I need to pen here, for Reuters and Bloomberg cannot. Even Magnum is up to date, capturing the mood

It started on Friday night, Las Chicas with JS professing to AC and I, that it was inconceivable that Merrill would go down. I bought dinner, 5 bottles of wine and 3 cigars to celebrate the end of "the good times". The pair weren't convinced I was right. A reuters article on Saturday morning, and obstinate reply on Sunday night, humble pie on Monday morning.

Monday was a public holiday in J-land and HK, yet many were called in to unwind before the inevitable failure of one Lehman. People were calling me with "Did you hear? What does this mean?" stories on Monday, but when I got to work on Tuesday, the first questions were "are we screwed?" my honesty for once not unsettling, and then the boss gave me a very specific "we need to ensure CV's arent hitting the door out of panic, this is good news, and we need a maintain a strong and positive temperament to the staff.". K. But even I couldn't do it. I believe in the concept of caveat emptor, so am happy to rip anyone off. Yet my 5 minute morning call over ran to nearly an hour, with questions, and my jibbering conflicting with the utter lack of enthusiasm in my voice. I told them I was sad to see the end of the brand. And that, I maintain, I am. Sadly though, it's more than that. Changing management structure could mean bad things for me personally, and of course, the fear is never exciting when the consequences are severe. But, as the news seeps out, it seems we might keep something. God knows. God cares. I don't. I don't. I'm now disappointed that I dont get to go to Patagonia, and plan some super-cool-big-trip across America de Sud. Booger.

I managed to getta hold of JB on the Wednesday after school, after his news was dead cert. Decent spirits he was in, despite the innumerable possible outcomes to his life before year out. Stories of people coming to work just for the free internet and chance to get tips on how to update their CVs, steal the (plastic) coffee cups, and abuse the still not disconnected telephones. The day before I had met AF in Heartland round about midnight for an hour of gossiping about the madness. Some geezer we ran into said that all of the numbers were superficial - the value of Lehman is purely in the intelligence and quality of its staff. Judging by how they are all still turning up to work, or helping each other out looking for the next role, I can't agree more. Would the same happen in another industry?

I couldn't sleep. I read the news until I dropped, woke up again and did the same. The electricity of fear, greed, ambition, sanctimony and anticipation hovering silently at six hundred and six six feet over Wall Streeet kept everyone turning papers. And then AIG, then MS, then 700 billion, and the storm appeared to ride on. The news is still everywhere (WM, Wachovia, Fortis) but the feeling is less intense after the initial blow.

A few days on and we're just riders on the storm; here's to landing sunny side up...someday.

Under your umbrella – e – e – e

2008-08-07T00:57:00.002+09:00

I’m in ze NEX Westbound enroute home. Nothing was penned in the moleskin for this trip, and so this is the hour I have to write it all up. Brought back home by Airbus’ latest beast of offering – that famous double decker. Easily the biggest chairs I’ve seen in my life, more suited to a Chinese family of 15 than an pot bellied business class traveler. Now I’m feeling nauseous, uncomfortably sweaty, aromatically uncouth and discontented. Japan is not my home. I feel this way every time I land in Narita, and it’s largely because there is nobody in Tokyo I’m particularly interested in hanging out with. Sure, as always, I’m incredibly fortunate in knowing a dozen or so killer personalities from Type A through most of the encyclopedia…. And back to wanting the emptiness.

The trip began, as most do, very shortly after landing. Saturday evening, John met me at the hotel. Odd recollections of meeting in almost the same manner last year, bar the nudity. Destroyed most of the Jack, and headed out to Masami’s Mex meetup. Fortunately for nobody other than ourselves, we were nearly two hours late, and utterly obnoxious. This refusal to grow up within me is covered poorly with sobriety, so it is not surprising that inebriation sets it free. I can’t remember much more, besides Sunday, KM8, and realizing how life could be good when it wasn’t crowded. Singapore has the time and the space…

Monday after school - there was Reading with Kids. I’ll never say No to anything – better to regret what you have done, than what you have not done – and there I was reading to a bunch of attention deficient imps who made me question the entire reproductive process during the 90 minute torture session. I will not be doing this again.

Tuesday was the annoying late night calls, but thankfully I recall an interlude of a billion sticks of satay in Lau Pa Sat.

Wednesday had some unlimited booze event in Chijmes. Sadly all my photos of the courtyard have vanished in the memory card mixup. The Singaporeans know that Chijmes is worth preserving – the Japanese would tear it down in a second. Just being at a place which reeks of the colonial past, surrounded by English conversation makes me want to move to Singapore. It could be good here…but I have so much to finish in Japan. Even my boss is calling me the ninety percenter – thinks, plans, starts, but never finishes. It’s likely that you wont lose if you don’t finish – but it’s guaranteed that you wont win. God knows why I’m comfortable with that notion in so much of my life.

Being the source of laughter naturally brings you together with other such clowns. And so, somewhere on the Friday night, we wound up distinctly merry and puffing on cigars on Sultan. Quickly it became death by cigar as I recall little more than feeling very, very poor the next day as I sobered up midday on Saturday, at work.

Taxi’d it over to Casa Carey and saw the man amongst the rubble. We’ve come a long way together - but there were never hard times – just good. He’s going to put up a palace, and that rocks.

Fled over to some bbq at a bloke who knew a bloke who had two dogs and a cat. This is the Singapore I never saw, and now love. Did you ever watch that movie where they were living in that big house with the pool, the Balinese furniture and the gorgeous friends? Well, I was half way there. And being a pikey, I was awestruck. I despise apartment living. It’s just, well, not landed, and therefore not yours to love.

The rest of the week was a monochrome Xerox of the preceding week; just remember you can only get 99 copies before the even the machine questions your sanity. Just don’t look straight into the halide.

The trials of packing to leave on Saturday morning. Two extra pairs of shoes, the jeans I stole from John, and a couple of T-shirts. Yet somehow, the bag was no way near big enough. Dashed around the room and found a rather durable laundry bag. Squeeze four pairs of shoes into it, shamelessly handed my freshly stolen luggage to the concierge for safekeeping, and sauntered down to KM8 to sleep on the beach. Somewhere before I was standing checkin desk at 22h in thick shades was Beer, Jack, crab at Lau Pa Sat. I’m funny; occasionally droll by fortune too. But when drunk, I’m convinced of a talent capable of dropping pro-quips. “Has anyone ever checked into business with a stolen hotel laundry bag before?” She was not amused. Customs over in Narita saw my stubble, my shorts, the remnants of yesterday’s dining festering smack in the middle of my T-shirt, and then the bag. He flipped the signed declaration card, and without taking his eyes of me, double tapped the word : Narcotics. “Mate, I’ve just come from Singapore”. “Oh! Very dangerous. Dozo”.

Life is experiences

2008-07-20T10:14:00.002+09:00

To touch and feel; to hurt and steal. Only the #1 and #2 are blood real; #3 and #4 are about someone else - mere ether. Feel the pain to show the stain. Plagarism can't count as theft if you're bending the game to suit the play. Winner winner chicken dinner.

I'm somewhere over the South China sea on my way to SIN city. I've flown a million times before, but there is something about this flight which is making my grey cells contort in a nervous twitch of servitude and envy. I'm the luckiest person I know. That's not because everyone else is unlucky - it's because I never feel quite focussed enough to know them. Business class, for the third time ever, is half decent. There's a geezer next to me who is on his first mission over to SIN and he's buzzed. The carnivore in me all over that, it's the reason i love to fly economy.

I'm rehearsing what to say to Scott C. Not because I want to be clear in conveying my thoughts to him, but because I'm intimidated by his intelligence, and I'm cheap enough to leverage anything to spend time killing for a clarity unafforded to me in the last three decades. It's possible that there will never be clarity - this goes back to my latest question: "Are we to spend our whole lives being tested?"

The ego appears to be the one undefeated centurion on the horizon. With the conceded exception of pretension, everything about me is average or less - and I love that. It's so faux exploitable and full of undeliverable promise. I know that being offered a rung up on the corporate ladder means only an ego massage; so I no longer care. That's a cinch; done. Thanks to BC introducing me to that one. I know that all my encounters that may never have been come with a weight afterwards. "On the night of the fight, you may feel a slight sting". Books, toil, sport and even alcohol can temper that sting. Yet I needed a cure. Perhaps it's been found; time will tell.

Friday night: Gandered down to that izakaya in Omotesando which John and I discovered as they served the cheapest beer East of 80's Praha. Jumpei + Vince + Shige + Jake + some dreadlocked dude. It's not a skill - it's a decision - to convince everyone that you love them. And yet it works. Blindingly, the reality is that you surround yourself with personalities to ape or be aped.

One of my fears is that I'm hammering out a cage in which I can contain this journey of experiences - Life. Rules:

Never react
Seek first to understand, then to be understood
Understand people's weakness, but do not focus on them, or it will stop you from seeing their skills and learning from them.
Do not think. Know
Wear black more often; and Acqua di Gio to mask the sulphur.

Are they the steriods on the track - all good today, and all regret tomorrow? Somehow Shige and I wound up back in Ropps, and met Albert and Sina. Shige was wearing my T-shirt, and I was wearing Albert's shirt. Life imitating art.

Last weekend doesn't had two highlights - Alex C's 40th at a fantastic bar hidden in the back streets of Omotesando. Got me that lipstick taste of Europop - the crowd was so very AC - they all had haircuts. The second was taking a picture frame from a couple of sticks and a Monte Cristo cigar case.

Exacerbating the mood

2008-06-22T18:35:00.004+09:00

The rain began around the time i woke up on Saturday with no intention of letting up until we're forced to return to work on Monday. Curses to the beast of the sky. As a consequence, i've declined leaving the flat, which has meant shuffling and reorganising yet little else. This enforced cabin fever is no good for the soul.

Last weekend was astonishing. There was tennis, swimming, cycling, photographs in Omotesando at night and the driving range. The sports madness spilled into the week, with more swimming, futsal, and some cautious running. Less on the drinking. Until Friday where Alex J's birthday caused me to knock back seven or fourteen somethings. Self harm isn't self harm if you're buying the round - then it's a group thing - entirely socially acceptable.

The Boss is easier to get along with these days. The Bigger Boss requested me on a longstay jolly in SG, and like any jolly, it's impossible to refuse. And yet, I watched the movie Closer today, originally recommended by RV's mother years ago...but watched only now. The same could be said for her; so I called, no answer. Back to the movie - brimming with quotable jibberish that i love far too much than is healthy - it's great because it shows men as entirely devoid of senses needed to guard territory, and yet they try, as they must.

Earlier this week, there was a drunken moment at a party at work I was uninvited to, where I was voted "one of the more attractive" of the males in the office. All gloating aside, it's important to remember that I am in an office of geeks, where verbosity and cufflinks go very far. Justin's take on it later, whilst we attempted to destroy the calorific benefits of the futsal game earlier using Red Stripe and jerk chicken wings, was that I am not a deal closer. I'd like to think i've fixed it now - but so many tests remain....

Which takes me to "Are we to spend our whole lives being tested?" This is my new question. The previous one, asked years ago: "What will i feel when i get what I want?". The answer is two things: "Emptyness, and a burning desire for more emptyness".

The film, and the endless rain, has made me miss London that little bit. I even checked for a flight. God, what was I thinking. I've grown here. Old, but i've grown. And learnt enough to take me to closer to that man who smells of burning sulphur . I like. Just wish I had stopped at this juncture earlier - when i had hair. All good things come to those who greed for it.

Woman, Man or Modern Monkey

2008-05-12T22:37:00.002+09:00

Golden Week was a treat of poker, baseball, cigars, Cinqo de Mayo, staying up late drinking, and just kicking back. Work has been atrocious of late. My boss has devolved into an utterly power corrupted egotistical loon, whose oversimplifying of issues has killed any motivation that I once had for toil. The good side to see is that i'm writing in my misery once more.

That said, i'm anything from miserable - a particular incident In the Park that should keep me chuckling for a while whilst i think of it. Went to meet up with a couple of the boys in the park, ran into Ollie, and her friend who played carried that famed antipodean instrument. Siff couldn't resist when he heard the next day.

Then the next weekend, a mere 3 days later, and i'm telling Vince stories about urusai ona, and a few bottles of wine later we're in Ropps, then Juban, and at 11am I wake up on the floor of some apartment to the sound of my keitai buzzing about broken clusters. Taxi home, foetal position, drink water, repeat. 16:00, and I get that need to envelope myself with poorly written television shows, and wait until sleep takes me into her gracious arms once more. Only until half the servers in pacrim launch a DoS attack against the US smtp servers, and i'm on a bridge until 7am toning down a tcic from red to yellow. I need to re-write my CV this weekend.

BigSiff
You know you're a hippie if......You have friends that can play bongo drums and or a Didgeridoo
You know you’re a hippie if…….You know anyone that has personally been to the “Burning Man festival” and fantasized of one day going yourself
You know you’re a hippie if…….You don’t like Hawaii because it’s not “bohemian” enough
You know you’re a hippie if…….You wear the same worn out pair of running shoes for years until one day they end up causing a life-long injury
You know you’re a hippie if…….You travel all over South east asia looking at old stuff and searching for the meaning of life

Retort:
Who needs enemies…

You know you’re a hippie if…….you have friends that work in IT, but try to pass themselves off as investment bankers.
You know you’re a hippie if…….you know anyone that offers friendly advice on how to get million dollar home loans.
You know you’re a hippie if…….you go to Hawaii, skip the tattoo parlors, and shop at Tiffany’s.
You know you’re a hippie if…….you shop in Ginza and Omote-sando for running gear
You know you’re a hippie if…….you attend conference calls all over South East in an effort to get microsecond latency exchange trade times for your billion dollar company.

You cant always get what you want

2008-04-13T22:17:00.003+09:00

And i've needed everything i've got. The last 4 weeks has been six lifetimes I always knew were waiting to catch up with me.

First there was the trip to Goa via Singapore. All the good things that could happen to a bad person. From the mad South African that bought John and I a Tequila shot to signal the clock turning after noon, to embracing the moment of je n'est sais quois.

Then there was Goa, where the moleskin does record what the fingers can no longer type. The parents are as crazy as ever, and the trip was almost all I expected and, inevitably, a little more. Some of the more was a passion for a motorbike on sunbeaten single track roads and the SLR moments.

Then there was Singapore once more, with AF, and two days in the office. Rice is going up in price, so I bought a Baum, an overpriced Balanese oil painting, and a couple of suits. About 35 kilos stuffed in the hold, including some fene which I will probably, and more importantly, should never drink.

Eating fresh as fresh can be crab at Newton Circus at 5am made Singapore feel comfortable - there is never the eigo dekimasen problem that I have here. Sad to think that I, and nobody else, stand between solving that issue.

The mist and the calm - that feeling of burning up some of the Dominican Republic's finest products, out there on the balcony at 2am with a JD and John's repetitious garble "you know, you know, you know". I know that Japan will last five earth years and no longer. I'm never going to marry a Japanese girl - this is just all a holiday. At some point, it's time to leave. I could quite easily move to HK or SG - there is no doubt in my mind that Asia is where it's at for the next dozen years, but there is also no doubt in my mind that I'm the bug flying towards the blue light.

Now that i'm back in Japan, and had a kick in teeth for being the grumpy work shy fop that i am, it's getting back into the swing, just before the next holiday. Something tells me i'm about to be fired from my revered employer.

Someone with more wisdom than I could ever be trusted with once said: "Nazdrovia, it's all about the tea." There were two, yet greed forces a saddness in me to know that there could have been two more cups of that Jasmine wonder stuff...

The reason i have not written

2008-03-03T00:08:00.004+09:00

in so long could be attributed to a unhealthy addiction to the television.

The weekends have all merged into the weekdays of employer interruptions. I'm quite convinced that they are close to pointless. All that happens is see in real time what yet another summary email could provide between the hours of Nine and Five. But yet I am here. And counting down to 10 more months.

It smacked me between the eyes yesterday that Singapore was imminent. The headcount is there, and flying on the coattails gets tricky when you're further from the engine. And I dont fly so well on my own.

This week I wound back to over 2 years ago and the notion of floating ideas and drowning execution. And so it still is closer yet further. And I wonder when what i'm going to do to fix it. After quitting Ropps at about 5am, waking up 2 hours later and jumping on a Shink, i was in Manza. Through the Saturday phonecalls which have now become par for the course, unwinding began, which reached it's summit sometime after dinner when we headed out to the rotemburo, and hid under the sulphurous waters for more hours than can possibly be healthy for man or best. Work hard, play hard, relax harder.

Easily one of the best weekends I have had in years - The Slopes; The Onsen; The People.

The end of the year has swished by...

2007-12-31T21:17:00.000+09:00

...and i didn't wrote anything so quick...because i wasn't sure that this year was better than the last. Now, I'm sure.
- completed Oxfam
- gotten to visit 1 new place (Laos)
- been to some old places (Thai/Cambodge/NZ/Oz)
- done some int'l biz travel
- taken an attitude of work first, exercise second, life third, and relegated money to irrelevance.
- lost a handsome pile of cash on the Japanese and Icelandic Equity market
- pretty much decided never to be in business
- celebrated my thirtieth with a first - a rooftop partay
- moved to central tokyo
- built The Litespeed
- build bridges with two people I never imagined building bridges with - independently. I detonated C-4 under one, and left the other a little too rickety to pass.

This year, I hope to go to a new country, put work back into second place, and build some solid bridges....time will tell.

I wear a suit; I wear a hoodie

2007-12-24T15:11:00.000+09:00

and I'm starting to forget which I feel more comfortable in. The only thing I am sure I like doing is laughing - and I guess I'll work out where that happens best soon enough. Spent the last two days up in Hakuba sliding down the mountains on a board, in awe of how the simplest things keep me happy. Thoroughly sore now, but really need to go get some endorphins from the palace. Right after this.

My mother made a big mistake, and i'm trying to work out how tell her. She insisted on No Presents for Christmas in some form of hippy overblown protest against the capitalism of it all. I can see now, how she is utterly wrong, and I'm not going to let her get away with it again. The one thing that keeps people together over the span of the globe are the few rituals that we have - religion is dead, long live consumerism. Spoke to my younger sister today, and Christmas is gone - there was no excitement or interest. And I'd like to believe that sending someone a gift is a reason behind it. So next year, gifts for all.

Boss was over this week: I've got to stop the gossip. Because now, it's no longer gossip, it's information to keep me in the loop. Now i've got to remember that...

But my dreams they aren't as empty But my dreams they aren't as empty, as my conscience seems to be

2007-12-14T00:15:00.000+09:00

Not sure why i'm thinking of this track, but I am. I went to the IBD party today. At my faceless bank, there are 3 parties. front office, back office, ibd. I went to the front office last year. lavish, but there was enough weirdness for Matt to say that it was gayer than the gay party we just came from. The IBD party featured cross dressers as well.
I used to know someone who was close to me, that said that they would have never been so close to me, if I was in banking. I doubted it, and never understood why {Girls dont like boys, Girls like cars and money}. But today, discovery was mine. The room was full of men in business suits almost as deafeningly dull as themselves, who ended up, passionless, in a job they fulfilled. The job couldn't possibly fulfill them. I see people in my department, as geeky as it sounds, get overexcited about the things that happen and the tech that they do. But not for a moment, can I imagine these guys (and they were all guys) get excited about anything. And I had 3 hours worth of free booze to contemplate that very thing.

Today I am glad to be in technology.

Your city is tha bomb if your city makin' pay

2007-12-02T12:47:00.000+09:00

Tupac said it first. Remek said it this weekend. A visit from The 'goosh late on a Thursday which dragged me through streets of Tokyo greased up on many a pint.
We hit Andy's izakaya on Thursday - I was overblown with nervousness made worse by having to answer calls all evening from the MQ friends. Back to my apartment, and the taximan tries to sting remek for an extra 2000 - surely a first in tokyo. Continued on to all the places with the lowest forms of life in Roppongi until 4am, and took a cab over to Tsukiji to watch the fish get sold to the highest bidder. The hugest tastiest breakfast in our bellies, and wander home to black out.

Friday was the Asakusa circuit. Still more calls from work. Rem forced me to stop, take the call, then walk on. Big difference. It's been a while since I've hung out with someone from the old days, and I realise now how important it is. Remek has his shoes stapled to the ground - it's just that sometimes he takes his boots off for a closer look at the sky. The balance is what it's all about - and learning how to weigh those scales.

Out in Shibs for the night, Shige does his thing, Remek tries to play a blind eye and fails. In the games of the world we live in, where nobody knows exactly what they want, the only winners are the the fast players. Keeping your eye on the ball is easy. Being on the ball is easy. The cheetah decides, bursts into a sprint, and gets the job done. I want it.

Saturday was spent trying to quench the hangover and get some last minute shopping done. We couldn't even manage to have a big last night... Skipped Eden's birthday party, and went to Roppongi instead. Royce came out later, and we hung out some artsy bar with a set of golf clubs.

I let "the phase" go on Sunday. The phonecall didn't do it, but the text afterwards did. The reply came a little later, and it felt appropriately superficial. To the death - instinct is never wrong.

Spent the evening with Balaji and Vince - two people who live on different planets at different ends of the solar system. Yet they got on; because there is something so much simpler in the way that the world turns than we could ever try to explain in words.

The weekend apart

2007-10-28T23:05:00.000+09:00

Again, I managed to avoid Ropps, on a friday. This is quite outstanding, I must say. 3 of the petrol heads at work took me, with a Canon on my shoulder, down to an expressway service stop, in search of more petrol heads, showing off the finely tuned automobiles. You've got to love the otaku. I mentioned "smart car" and didn't get away with it. Photos on flickr. Saw the car that Dipesh and I have always dreamed of x2. The Evolution 2. Quite a work of art. I never did love the unrefined muscle of American cars, and the plasticized muscle of rice rockets. German cars will be the only thing I will die for. And maybe the right woman too...but i think she sees that like crystal at the moment. Life aint all roses for those on top. And I am so very on top... sometimes.. once.. maybe. Dammit!

Saturday was the Halloween party day. I donned a Doraemon costume and headed down to Ropps expecting to be told how cute I was. Not a moment of disappointment. IB dressed as sexy Santa. We wandered around outside to get some air - I heard someone say "Santa-san". That's right kid, Santa-san. Pay some respect, and you'll get that PS3 on the 25th. We also ran into 2 of the Backstreet Boys before they ducked into the club next door. IB was awash with glee and ran in front shouting "i love you!!". When she left, and my mood took a turn. A couple of tequilas later, and I was bleeding my heart out to Miss Wang. Photos on FB tomorrow.

Sunday, called up IB, and wandered down her end of the world for a bbq on in the gardens of her apartment complex. Heard some interesting tales, and wandered down to Ginza later for some shopping. I thought i'd see the surface crack on this one by now - but instead, after a large whisky on a Sunday night, as i sit here typing, I realise that it's my surface that's cracking..something's not healthy, and I need to stand back. I want it complex because I can't accept the simpler things in life. Aint that a shame.

The week was a mess of work and drinkage. I gave someone in Japan - The B-man - the address to this blog, which is a first, and quite possibly a mistake. It will not be repeated. The damndest shame is that 3 days this week were spent just with him, and some interesting conversations evolved. I am muted to discuss any of them now with the typical cynical level of critique that so personifies me.

And so, the weekend ends whilst I drink Chivas Royal Salute, listen to Bonobo, and read Dogs and Demons. And a little bit of facebook. I've given up on Garcia Marquez - it's just not sucking me in.

Quote from Krasnov worth keeping: "Filthy pervert is my middle-name, go ask my parents what was on their mind that dark soviet night."

check out my Hamnett's

2007-10-08T21:07:00.000+09:00

Dinner on the top of Marounchi building was a welcome distraction from the usual rush to intoxicate on a friday night. And so the weekend began

Saturday, cleaned the flat, ran up the hill 15 times, and split for Yokohama, where the Japanese Oktoberfest was on. It felt like a small version of the real deal. The benches were out in the sun, the tents were heaving with hordes choking for Erdinger and sausage. Germany's has given two wonderful gifts to the world: The Mercedes SL, and beer. Shoot back to Roppongi, and the rugby's on, people who i've never met in months are spilling off onto the streets - the train from Yokohama to Tokyo could have been an ICE train from Munchen to London.

Sunday, chez Limozin for the homewarming party in Kagurazaka. Wine and cheese featured heavily in a diet that begun at 14:00. At that point, I didn't know the day would end at 05:00. Jerome has a fantastic house, and then he got very drunk and proceeded to mess it up. A good party, it ended around 8, which was far too early to go home on a weekend, so I met up with Eden in Roppongi. Full of beans and stories, as per ever,and drinking champagne. Yi turned up, we had another drink. Then ridiculously hot girl from work; that should be a model, but unfortunately is nowhere near arrogant enough; texted to say she was down at A971. What sort of person would I be if I declined that offer? Met Albert and Derek on the walk over, fresh back from Yokohama, and got to a heaving bar in Midtown. "We're going to a party in Roppongi Hills". Sure. Picked up some cheap booze in the kombini enroute, and Albert says "Nice Hamnett's" in reference to my shoes. How did you know? "Because I have the same pair. And so does JB". Jesus. As if it isn't bad enough that we both have the same T-shirts...

Turns out that we all can't get into the apartment in Ropps Hills, so I ditch the group and lurk around the guarded entrances, ducking past electric doors after drunks on their way home, all to to the 14th floor. Once there, I tried to blend in, with limited success. Accosted pretty early in my tracks by the propreitor of apartment, luckily someone managed to verify that indeed I was invited, and so I cracked open a can of beer, and gorged myself with the Mexican in the kitchen. Met the weathergirl, the jewelry sales girl, watched a lovers tiff unfold. Standing in an apartment that rented for upwards of $7k a month made me think. Is this success? Is wearing a fat diamond, and going giddy over Veuve Cliquot the way? To me, it's all about the company. I'd sooner spend the time sat on the corner of the road sipping chuhi with a crinkled T-shirt. But, I'm 30. I work for a large company. I am not poor. It's shunned upon to even consider the latter. 2am, and we spilled onto the streets in search of The Next. Salsa bar it was...and in the blur afterwards, Sunday ended.

Monday the public holiday. Met up with JB for a lunch curry, ate too much naan, and headed for the driving range. Learnt how to hold the club a different way. I gots to improve on the attendance - learning golf is going to be something that will keep me occupied in summer...just need to learn to swim as well.

The Big Three O.

2007-09-04T01:20:00.000+09:00

I've never really had a full on birthday bash, so what could be more appropriate than thirty itself.

The day started at about 5am, when I woke up and realised that I wasn't going back to sleep. The only sensible thing to do was to join the boys from work on a run through Hakone. Waiting outside Azabu-Juban station at 6.30am on a Saturday, there are three types of peoples: Golfers, Surfers and general wasters who have no better place to be. I dont golf or surf.

Drove down to Hakone and ran up a mountain, back down it, and became very tired. It took 3h10mins to cover Kintoki and the next stage. 25km of painful pleasure before lunch. 2 days later, my legs still hurt.

Drove back to Tokyo, met Rheanna whilst I will still filthy from the run, at the station, headed home for much desired shower (post Oxfam shower still rates #1, post Amazonian jungle #2 due to the lack of soap) and left the apartment for food. Hooked up with Eden at the crossing, and the 3 of us went to Bar X, that amazing German fella who cooks more than any man or beast can eat. Except, i finished both my food, and some of Rheanna's. God damn, that man can cook. God damn, all the blood in my body was in my stomach. Alberto pops in, cigars in hand, and the 4 of us taxi it down to Shimo-kitazawa for some beers at Trocadero.

A rooftop bar in Shimo with Hoegaarden, champers, cigars and a couple of dozen friends. If ever there was a moment, that was one. Got home around 5am, collapsed. I'd been up for 24 hours.

Spent all of Sunday between the bed and the couch.

New Ketai

2007-08-15T22:58:00.000+09:00

Just got another phone yesterday. About $800 in Japan buys you a 3.5G phone, with GPS, digital TV, 3MP camera, and electronic payment built in. And it's reasonably sized. The payment system is cool; just swing it over the till, or subway turnstile, and it beeps out the money. Top up by cash or visa. 3.5G is faster than most people's broadband (~7Mbps). I've even got the phone to play unprotected music...so I got to get myself a set of bluetooth headphones.

Shopping continued today, I finally bought a new pair of trainers. Tomorrow, more shoes. Mister B is right. I've lost thousands on the stock market, I'm about to lose thousands more on property, with the yen at 250 holding cash sucks ass, so the only thing left is to speeeeeeend.

The running is back on, although muchos slower after the holiday. 5km previously 22mins, now 25mins. All that beer isn't easy to lug around.

At work, some tricks and games are afoot. I can't tell if they want me to resign, or they actually have faith. I told my boss' boss in black and white, whilst utterly drunk, that if he ever made me work for someone again, i'd kick him in the nuts, and resign. I get back from holiday, he marches me off to an office, flatters me, and begs me to work for said bloke, indirectly, until the end of the year. The big question is - do I want to be a techie or a manager?

I am a Comic Genius

2007-08-12T00:22:00.000+09:00

...or just a pathetically sarcastic carbon-based mortal. (regarding inane facebook comments i have made).

Just got back from 2 weeks across Laos/Cambodia/Thai with JB/Darren/Kumar/John/Shige/Albert. Chaos supreme. Too much of most things, and probably some fun as well. All of it confined to The Moleskin. Sadness on the NEX today though - i really despise Japanese architecture.

- wanting: A Paul Smith wallet
- needing: To get back the fitness level. Sifferman is going to kick my @ss.
- probably: Disperse all this hippy Buddha stuff I bought in Cambodge, tomorrow.
- will: Make large amazon purchase
- should: finish reading Dawkins

trying to stop the deluge with a Paper Cup

2007-07-15T00:11:00.000+09:00

I'm all settled into living in the city now, and quite enjoying life with a massive TV and the convenience of cycling to work. Damn, I really should have done this earlier.

Was supposed to go with Eddie to Shimoda this weekend, but backed out because of the little thing called Man-yi. So chilling back in Tokyo for the long weekend. Saturday night, i've ordered a pizza i'm watching one of Besson's masterpieces. The only thing i'm undecided about is whether I like Chris or Milla more. Chris Rocks but I was born with the predisposition to lust for the opposite sex; and the emotion of 'like' appears to strafe between charm and lust.

Almost

2007-06-16T08:53:00.000+09:00

Mel Gibson's film sports a fella bestowed the monika 'Almost' by his captors. This title has relevance in my life right now, and there is no need to elaborate. Shouldda couldda wouldda. But just almost.

Unsurprisinginly, I'm enjoying summer in JP. There's a lot going on around me, and sometimes, somewhere it co-incidentally involves me. Skimboarding is unlikely to be tried again - it is with humility that I inform you that i lack both skill and the patience to develop the skill for a sport that appears to offer so meagre a fruit of reward to it's elite. Sod that, I'm heading out of town, with a new coffee table - as long as i can get the filthy wax off the board, i see only one way that the board can now be of use to me.

Friday night involved a trip to Blue Note to be entertained by Nile Rodgers. An outrageously arrogant feeling of self contentment: to be in gorgeous company as the clock ticks past 12 in a basement jazz bar cheering back to a band who screams "Tokyo; We Love You".

Woke up early and cycled down to Haneda with JB and a few others. 3 hours on the paths under an azure blue sky.

Life
- Listening to Brazilian Girls - Reading Native Son
- Watching Alias
- Next holidays will be Laos then Seoul.
- In Love with 2 people, 1 apartment, and the weather. All fictious.
- Suffering from laziness, tennis elbow, and an unwillingness to socialize.
- Next trip to consumerland could retrieve a GPS system.

Shave

2007-06-04T21:44:00.000+09:00

I've had to start shaving my hair, because it's getting too thin. Disaster. I've looked back on some of the photos of me, over the years, and i'm on going to miss those gloriously unkempt black tufts. Photos has led to an obsession with Flickr. Which is handy, because i'm just managing to ween myself of The Shield. Anywho, the flickr account is doing well right now, getting tons of stuff uploaded, and keeping me happy about taking more snaps. So that's what i'll be doing.

The holiday to NZ was chill. All i did was wake up, MTB, eat, MTB and watch TV. It made me realise how easy it is to get lazy, and how i need things to aim for. If it wasn't for Oxfam, i'd be fatter from holiday. Instead, i did stuff.

So now i know, that in order to give up my job, I need to sprinkle out random events for the sake of health throughout the year. So i've ordered a skimboard. Let's see how that works out this weekend.

God Damn, I hate google

2007-03-16T19:38:00.000+09:00

not only did they still my email address, causing me to avoid blogging for quite some time, but now i find that they have switched everything over to japanese. Quelle Horreur! And i dont know how to switch it back. But i do know that i hate them.

Took a comp day today, and was intending to train it down to the beach, and cycle back. But sorting out bureaucratic nonsense left me staying in tokyo and inhaling truck fumes whilst trying to not get killed. Must buy helmet. I've never felt scared on a bike before, and I can say for sure, it aint nice. I now understand why people cycle on the pavement here. If someone's gotta get pranged, I want to come out better. Anyway, met up with Ricky, who managed to convince me to go snowboarding tomorrow, so i am. But before that, met with Derek, in the hospital. He's in for an operation on his back,which has been troubling him for 2 years. I dont really like hospitals. And despite this being a really plush one, I like them even less now. It made me realise that the world is a pretty miserable and lonely place.

Right, it's friday night, so i'm off to some cheap and nasty izakaya...calling Shibuya...

Driving Tip

2007-02-10T21:47:00.000+09:00

If the guy in front of you stalls, honking and exclaiming a mixture of profanities and coarse threats will help the engine to restart.
OFF:
I'm off to Mt. Naeba tomorrow with a bunch of Japanese kids. One speaks English. My Japanese is still, of course, absolutely absent.
Vincent is off to to the Americas, starting with Brazil, to find himself. The element of his 7 month holiday that i'm jealous of is Burning Man. We rented a car on Friday, and moved all his gear into storage. It's the 2nd time i've watched a man astounded with disbelief and disappointment under the burden of his own possessions. Everything had to go, and what couldn't needed to be stored. Calls to mates and pleas. I made a mental note that this is not going to happen to me anymore. It sucks, and i'm getting to old for it.

Spent the entire day farting about with the bike, and actually managed to make some progress. Shocking.

Ah yes. A few weeks ago, Damian flew over to Japan to shop. A third time. The god of consumerism was worshiped, and Sandra came over to take him back to Edinburgh.

I've roped 3 of the kids at work into doing a 100km charity hike. I've entered it now, so it's too late to back out. Even after hearing stories from last years contestants of bleeding armpits and other such tall tales.

Bought a whole load of books from amazon UK, which will hopefully:
- keep me off the sauce (the litespeed is doing the job exceptionally well at the moment)
- restore my english to at least conversation level
- inspire me to start writing pointless details about my day to day activities in a cynical nonchalant manner

I've read a couple of them already, so i guess all is good.

Reading: Eric Berne
Listening to: Nothing at the moment, but nicked Vince's Denon, so i guess i'll have to start playing something loud soon.
Waiting for: the next season. beach volleyball & surfing.

The end is, again, nigh

2006-12-31T19:11:00.000+09:00

Another year gone, and I have:
* Gotten a permanent job
* Gotten to visit 4 new places (HK, Macau, Peru, NZ)
* Played host to my sisters, and then parents visting.
* Gotten permanent residency in A Foreign Land (indiaaaaaaah)
* Taken an attitude of life first, work & cash second.
* Noticed that there are some - notable, but few - individuals who believe my life has some sort of future. I am quietly confident that I can successfully prove them wrong in 10 years, when I'm kicking it back on the coast....

Although the list is short, and right now I feel as if I have achieved close to nothing, my usual smugness will make me say that this year was better than the last. It's probably even true.

This year, I anticipate greater things. Got a number of things on the boil, and the fire is actually on, so perhaps all the wrestling with The God Of Laziness who has haunted my life thus far is beginning to pay.

Culture

2006-12-31T09:50:00.000+09:00

Just got back from 3 days snowboarding. Remembered it all, and now dying to get out again. Maybe tomorrow, for a couple of days.

I had a discussion with a guy about culture. He reckoned that it can be defined in terms of your economic stature. I couldn't work it out at the time, but now I disagree. I think it is less subtle than that. It can be defined as the differences between peoples. Ordinarily, this can be promulgated by socio-economic factors, but there can be more. If you walk the Earth, starting at Tokyo and ending in Tokyo, you notice some elements remaining (kanji) and some elements chaning (mandarin, law, clothing). These differences are attributed to culture. If you defined culture as economic, one can only surmise that being white is a baseline for other cultures. Which is another question altogether. What does it mean to 'be white'? This one, I cannot answer.

The rain outside

2006-12-26T20:14:00.000+09:00

outside reminds me of the UK. serious rain. enough to make sure you dont want to leave the house - whoever should call. So i dont go out, I sit in front of the computer, and do something i have been meaning to do for oh so long. Type.

Christmas was over three days here, party at Craigs on Friday, i celebrated with ricky & friends over sunday, and then I cooked for the girls on Monday. Twas a good one. Called the family in Goa, and heard stories of dismay towards the weather, and the mosquitoes. It will be interesting if they decide to move...

Going snowboarding - first trip of the season - on thursday, and looking forward to it, and hanging out with Jezza. Then another when Damo arrives next year.

I wish I could understand my payslips a little better. But kanji wakare nai. This month, over 1/2 a million yen ended up in my bank account extra, and god only knows why. Best not to ask, methinks. God bless the land of low taxes.

My Japanese is still appallingly non existent, and I have been spending the last few weeks apartment hunting. Which is painful, even if you can speak. I've been told Japanese only far too many times to make me feel happy about the whole ordeal. But as soon as I think i've found a place (now) i'm doubting the location. Perhaps perhaps perhaps i should get a smaller place within the Yamanote line. Or do i like the tranquility of Gaku? Not sure. There is time to decide...a couple of days.

Been abitraging the PS3. Bought one here, ebay'd it. Ebay cancelled my auction. The wrath. Sent it to London. Eventually sold it for double what i paid, and got a demand for several more to boot. But not without being inches away from giving up, and going through a couple of weeks of aggravation trying to flog the thing.

Reading: Make no progress in with books of late. Going to order a bunch from amazon shortly.
Listening to: Not sure what to claim here. Going to load some
Most ludicrous purchase: A Litespeed. From ebay USA. New cost is 3x higher Japan. What a kerfuffle to get it over here - ended up throwing ~$300 at UPS. But it's beautiful. Now to get it some wheels & the rest!
Most wanted now: Apartment. Then stuff to go with the Litespeed. Maybe to use it as a bike rather than hang it on my wall.

Feeling: Good on the whole. Not right now - the rain sucks the life out of anyone - but life is good in general. I feel no desire to move job or country. Apartment discounted, it's time to live alone, i know that much.

Gokon

2006-11-26T12:38:00.000+09:00

Daz reckoned that he had 2 ANA girls and friends lined up for dinner. I applied a healthy dose of skepticism, and arranged to meet Matt instead, just 1 minute from them. In japan, they call it gokon. It's a setup where boy knows a girl, and boy and girl arrange to meet with several friends at izakaya for chat and see what sparks. I didn't attend, largely due to lack of trust toward anyone Dazza picks up.

After meeting with Matt, and knocking back the Renon Sowas, we split, and I dropped in to see how the boys were doing. Albert remained nonchalant as ever, present merely to hang out. Derek was giving it the chat, and had a captive audience, all members of which he felt no empathy toward. Darren was loving being in the company of so many girls. Vince was the disgruntled customer. In the end, the boys were left to pick up the tab, ~10 each, and one girl even darted out the door before the cheque arrived. My take on it is - eyes open. Everyone knew that the girls were only there for the free dinner, and the boys should have been more wily to that motive. Well - better luck next time.

Quote Matt: I think the only people who stopped searching for the next thing is the married and the dead.

Vince is thinking of leaving for Brazil. "The weather, the surf, the honies". Albert says: "We're losing the boys one by one.."

Went to a ResFest show (Videos that Rock) today - thanks largely to a website I am reading: gridskipper "for those who have left their backpacking days behind".

And now to do my Japanese homework, maybe watch a movie, and throw in the towel for the weekend.

Quiet like a mouse...

2006-11-22T00:04:00.000+09:00

for over a month. and now the best thing i have to report is that i spent lunchtime running around the imperial palace. fantastic day, not cold, super clear skies, and a view to kill for. I love this city. I love this city. I love this city. The weather is starting to turn - i had to wear more than just a T last week. In mid November. Rah.

work is coming together. still insanely busy, but i'm at last starting to not screw up with such disturbing frequency. yet, there remains no time for social life. perhaps this week will bode well, i am not oncall, there is public holiday on Thursday, and inebriation - a long delayed debauchery - should happen tomorrow.

An interesting note. The reason why teeth are so bad in Japan, is that, simply, it was never (until recently) considered part of beauty. OK, you drop your jaws in disbelief, but think about all the British girls with their beer guts hanging over their jeans below their croptop. Lovely.

Another interesting note. Western women *do* make strange noises. When expressing surprise or disbelief, they are reasonably vocal (albeit at a lower decibel threshold than their Japanese counterpart). These noises are strange to others. At last I understand.

Divorce

2006-10-20T00:15:00.000+09:00

But first, some SMS Magic.

>Hey. Let's cook some dinner and watch a movie tonight.
>>Sorry, can't make it. Seeing a man about a dog.
>Are you sure you're not seeing a woman about a cat?

And back to divorce. Kiwi guy at work looks on the road to getting a divorce. He's got a couple of kids with a japanese girl, and they've only been in japan 3 months. They married in NZ. Anywho, I was thinking about what makes a intercultural marriage survive over here, and as obvious as it might sound, it could well be language. If the foreigner "Nihongo wakara nai", then unsurprisingly, he/she will be marginalised by the family. When you look at it without emotion - is anything really surprising in life?

Weekend

2006-10-16T19:04:00.000+09:00

Someone once asked me what I normally do in the weekends, here in TK. So here's a rundown of what happened this weekend:

Friday night: Read below for minor details, but generally, Booze. Either with friends of work (nomi-kai).
Saturday: woke up late, pretended to do some house chores. Called Albert, and went and met him outside Shibuya 109, a shopping centre. A great place for a heterosexual male to stand around and kill some time. Walked across to Jingomae stadium, and hit some baseball in the batting cages for a while. Got a call from Darren, and the 3 of us went across to Shinjuku to hit up some bowling. Ate Korean nearby. Went home early (circa 11pm) as I had an early start the next day
Sunday: got an early start, and went up to Gunma prefecture for some hiking, up a hill to see this crater-thingy in Kusatsu. Stopped off at a rotemburo (outdoor hot pools / outdoor onsen) afterwards. Got home about 10.30. passed out, fell in Monday.

Careys last night in J-land

2006-10-14T12:51:00.000+09:00

was, as all nights go, a veritable disaster. We started late, finished early, and didnt even say goodbyes, or get photos. I guess that's what happens in the Pong. Well, i guess we got the holiday in Singapore sorted at least. He better get a Fat Pad there too. Although, I am sure he'll be back frequently enough...

On a separate note, I remain confused with Japanese girls, and the strange noises that they make. No, not when indulging in nocturnal activities you filthy preverts, but merely in general. They make some genuinely bizarre sounds in order to express anything from surprise to confusion or tiredness. So I asked a Japanese guy if western women make strange noises, imaginging that these sounds may be somehow muted to my ears having grown up in the UK. He couldn't really give me an affirmative on that one, but remained deeply suspicious about my line of questioning. Ehhhh?????? God, it kills me.

Here's a thought: I am thinking that the whole purpose behind working is to become happy. So you earn money to be happy. Like, you wouldn't get off you ass and do anything more unless the end result made you happy. So you use money to buy happiness. Which is why, I guess people get confused with the whole deal and claim that money cant make you happy. True, but you can buy some happiness with cash. Anyway, what I am trying to say is: Why do people sell happiness for money? They go short on happiness and long on cash - this makes no sense, since the only thing you really ever want is happiness, and the only thing which is ever bankable is happiness. Not cash.

EFF ONE

2006-10-09T19:11:00.000+09:00

I was in charge of the entrance tickets. JB was in charge of the shink tickets. Toxic Daz was in charge of the hotel. It all seemed sussed. With the Friday night behind me, I woke up as early as the body would allow on a Saturday morning to get-me-to-the-shinkansen on time. Met Jeremy, and said "sorry i'm late". His reply "i dont think darren realises how big tokyo station is. I spoke to him 2 mins ago, and he's just ordering sushi. The train leaves in 10mins." "He's never going to make it, lets go". Somehow, through the panicked thought of missing it, he shoved, pushed, ran, and ploughed through persons old and small in Tokyo Eki to prove me wrong. We jumped on the train, and the doors closed. Woosh. Took the fastest of fast trains down to Nagoya (366km in 102mins = 134mph average).
The three of us made for good company - equally minded fools looking for disasters in any shape or form. Darren provided Episode #2 after getting into a taxi. He called the hotel, and persuaded them to give directions to taxi driver. He started driving, taking the directions. Then, 30seconds later, the great Japanese sound "eh????" and a tirade of nonsensical words, followed by handing the phone back. It's the wrong hotel. Daz, the muppet-man, had called a different hotel to the one that he had instructed the taxi driver to proceed to. We jumped out, a mere 2 minutes down the road, and spent the next 30minutes stunned to realise that Daz had no idea where we might or might not be staying. All the hotels in Nagoya would be booked, I knew this was tight. Luckily the weather was good, so the thought of buying a tent from The Donki and rocking up to some field, wasn't so far fetched. As was checking into the capsule hotel. Credit to him, he eventually delivered on his promise, and we ditched our bags, dashed back on the train - with amazing timing - and arrived at Suzuka. The noise was unreal - these machines must translate 70% of the fuel energy into the eardrum busting raucous that can be heard for a few km away from the track. The speed was tremdous. A safety car NSX came out later, and pelted it round the track. The guy was driving flatout - the body roll showed. The F1 cars remained rivetted to the ground, yet going so much faster. We got to watch approximately 12 to 15 seconds worth of the qualifying, before the horses were sent back to the stable for the evening. Track cars, safety cars, minvans and AMG Mercs all whizz about enjoying their moment in the eyes of the masses, all waiting to see something - anything - happen on that tarmac down below. But it was time to wander, and find out what Suzuka circuit had to offer, in terms of vantage points for tomorrow's fun. There was some well prepared geniuses out there, with ladders, and all kinds of contraptions to get that extra inch in, and lift themselves above the crowd. Everyone turned up a day in advance to reserve their place on the grass verges by slapping down some kanji-signed tarp and stones for the next day. Needless to say, we were completely unprepared for this, and started by lifting a couple of binbags, grabbing some pebbles, and hey presto, we had smacked out some turf.
Chuffed, our days work complete, we wandered further afield, using the opportunity to explore Suzuka completely, in the knowledge that tomorrow it would be impossibly busy to do the same. And then we found a hill. A hill that had a perfect view, and free space to plant down another squatter settlement. We were out of binbags, so I found a foldable table in a marquee and pinched it, slapped it down, and went home.

We got back to Nagoya, and headed out to a district known as Sakae. I asked some kids on the street where we should go to get some food & drink, and got mostly bemused looks, until someone decided to take us all the way over to a place called ID cafe. It was singularly the most vicious bar i've been to in Japan, worse than being filled with drunken GIs, it was filled with 7' Brazilians, looking for trouble with the 8' LA bouncers. Nonetheless, a goodtime was had, and we even got herded on to a Salsa bar afterwards. 6am, called it a night, and stole a couple of hours sleep before waking up for the Grand Prix. On that Sunday, God parted the wind and the clouds from the skies to deliver a picture postcard day. Magically, our seat on the lifted table was still intact, a mere hour before the race started, and so we sat, with earplugs, and snapped happy.

Got back to Nagoya, and managed to sneak in a brief cultural experience - Nagoya castle. Huge thing. Every time I witness an example of historical Japanese architecture, I am left aghast with disbelief that the same culture who valued asthetics so highly as to create {whatever I am in awe of at the time: from castles, to plain residences, bonzai plants, Kyoto, kimonos, the onsen} could leave such a brilliant legacy with the nonchalant disregard that created, in a mere 4 decades, one of the world's ugliest cities - Tokyo.

Listening to: Feedback - Jurassic 5
Read: Freakonomics
Looking forward to: Bring back the 'dale. Getting about Tokyo
Most desired skill: Lying. Convincingly. Going to try harder - I have to nail this one, or it's going to cost me. It's all about value, baby. Sell people what they want to hear, and they'll pay more.
Next holiday: Shanghai. Just got in touch with Dom after 3+ years. It's that time again...
Watched: The Inside Man. not what i expected from Spikeeee
Waiting for: Snowboard season.
Thinking about: learning to type with more than 2 fingers.

Danieru Tours The YouKay

2006-09-12T23:25:00.000+09:00

I’m carrying the company X41 around these days, and it’s lovely. I want one, even though I already have it. Parents are arriving in a couple of days, and I’ve just managed to sort out a ryokan for them. It’s at the other end of town, and I’m taking the train back now, feeling marginally less cheated by travel time by the fact that I can update the blessed blog, or burogu. And rightly enough, the journey is flying by. Spoke to Dipesh for ages today, and impressed to learn that he is into whisky. I feel as if I’m missing out on something by not living in the UK now. Which is coincidental, because I’ve just booked the flights to go back.

Please leave comments on the post encourage me to come and visit you, but the plan is so far to do:
Thu 26th Oct: BirminghamFri: Rajani wedding
Sat: Bristol
Sun: Bristol
Mon: London
Tue: London (Zajac + Irish kid whose name escapes me at the moment)
Wed: London
Thu: Fly to Edinburgh
Fri: Pearson wedding
Sat: Fly back home via London then Seoul.

Onion, I plead you to consider allocating a day in October for debauchery in Bristol.
I’d have liked to fly up to Edinburgh a little earlier, but I cant, as it is my mother’s birthday on the Thursday, and I’m only spending 3 nights or 2 dinners in London anyway, so I guess it makes sense.

Quick Summary on me:

Spent enormous amounts of time recently on: working.
Spent enormous amounts of curse words directed towards: IBM’s wonderful AIX.
Spent enormous amounts of money recently on: a taxi – 19500 yen for a single journey
Reading: Henry Kissinger
Listening to: the crystal method
Watching: The boondock saints
In love with: nihilism. I have been feeling nothing of late. That said, I worked 80+ hours last week, 50 of which made me wish I was paid by the hour. However, I still managed to find the time (mostly by skipping dinner) to hit The Pong a couple of times.
Fascinated with: the notion of retiring at 40. I need $30k unearned notes, and the house paid for. Muzakashi des-ka? Iie. Daijobu des.
Next holiday: London calling
Dreaming of: less. I feel older and less progressive
Considering: that maybe buying a flat is a waste of cash
Missing: nothing. I have the world spinning on the end of index finger. But like Atlas, tired.

The week gone by

2006-09-04T21:59:00.000+09:00

saw me get a year older. 'twas a good week, though. it all started on wednesday, with a bbq at casa carey, which is the most ridiculous of apartments i have ever seen in my life. i've seen some plush pads, but this is by far the most ludicrously overkill of all of them. one of the smaller balcony's was larger than ricky's entire flat. then we gawked at everything, ate like hogs, and crawled into work the next day. i managed to argue with haruka, who is now not speaking to me. ah well, it happens to the best of us.

thursday was a nomikai where the beer was good, the food was awful, and the conversation made me realise i never did, and still dont, want to be an SA. got to find a way to escape to the middle office.

friday was not intended to be anything crazy, as i was working the next day and needed to be onsite early. ended up having cigars and laphroaig with jez & john until about 2.

saturday and i was tired. god, i hate AIX. really. It took me 6 hours to change an IP address, mainly due to my incomptence. And with my ears ringing from the datacentre, i headed out to one of Eddie's mates stag do's. Came home early. Tired.

Worked on sunday as well. But, made it to the booze cruise in the evening.

Feeling tragically poor on a monday.

Lucy Gao

2006-08-26T08:31:00.000+09:00

> Dear Friends,
>
> Thank you for all your replies and I am glad all of you can come this
> Friday to celebrate my 21st with me. Please read ALL the following to
> ensure your entry into the Ritz.
>
> Lucy's 21st Birthday Party
> at The Ritz Hotel London
>
> Friday, 18th of August
> 9pm Champagne Reception
> 10pm Photo Shoots
> 10:30pm Blowing Candles
>
> Mid-night Pangaea, Mayfair
>
>
> I have arranged the Ritz to host a Champagne Reception with a
> selection of Ritz Champagne for all my guests, this will be on me so
> please come and indulge.
>
> A specially made birthday cake has also been ordered and the Ritz
> waiters will kindly serve you each a generous slice with Ritz
> cutleries, etc...also on me.
>
> INSTRUCTIONS FOR ENTRY:
> * When you arrive, take the Hotel entry on the opposite side of the
> Green Park tube station [Please refer to your arrival time at the end
> of this email]
> * When asked "how can I help you Sir/Madame?", you reply "I am here
> for Lucy's Birthday Party at the Rivoli Bar"
> * You will be escorted to the lounge area next to the Rivoli bar,
> where you will hopefully see a gorgeous group of ladies.
>
> If you experience any issues getting in or getting to the Ritz, please

> call my mobile on 07782 205 450 and my PA Ms Gill will kindly deal
> with your queries between 8:30pm to 10pm.
>
> STRICT DRESS CODE:
> Gentlemen: Jacket, shirt, and please also bring a tie (no jeans,
> trainers, flip-flops, polo-shirts)
> Ladies: skirt/top, cocktail dress (no denim, min-skirts, flip-flips,
> bad
> tastes)
> Advice 1: It goes without saying that the more upper-class you dress,
> the less likely you shall be denied entry. Advice 2: Photos will be
> taken between 10pm to 10:30pm, and these will be distributed once
> processed, therefore you may want to be well-groomed! ;)
>
> Finally...
> I will be accepting cards and small gifts between 9pm to 11pm...> wink> hehehe
>
> I very much look forward to seeing you all at the Ritz this Friday.
>
> Lucy
>
> ARRIVAL TIMES: [Please stick to these as best as you can, thank you]
> 9:00pm: Lucy, Sophie Sandner, Kajai, Mandeep, Preet, Sanami, Su, Lisa,

> Kate.
> 9:15pm: Phoebe, Sophie Seugnet, Theo, Dmitry, Ed, Nikolay, Paul, Nick,

> Harry.
> 9:30pm: Marco, Andrea, Jess, Ovi, Yuki, Olga, Kim, Marcelo, Ulyana,
> Krystal, Dan.
> 9:45pm: Sunita, Alan, JingJing, Emma.
> 10:00pm: Anthony, Rachel, Roger, Uli, Yogi, Gharzi
>
>
> Lucy Gao
> Citigroup | Real Estate Equity Research 4th Floor, Citigroup Centre
> (CGC1)
> 25 Canada Square, London E14 5LB
> Direct Line: +44 207 986 4116
> Fax:           +44 207 986 4341
> Mobile:       +44 778 220 5450
> Email: lucy.gao@citigroup.com

Elite

2006-08-23T21:49:00.000+09:00

There's a Goldman guy I sometimes drink with, who causes me particular irritation from his overwhelming arrogance, and elitist mentality. I've bastardised a sentence I read the other day to create this quote:

The elite are people who have the ability to insulate themselves from any adverse consequences of their actions.

For the benefit of all, the King should live in the same size cave as his subjects. He needs to feel as vulnerable as a serf. And that's why Scandinavia rocks. Release the hot ones, and let freedom reign.

Shimo Kitazawa

2006-08-23T02:21:00.000+09:00

i'm yet to have a bad night at the place. i needed to go there, to look for my wall. so called up john and scooted there after work. went to an overpriced italian place and ate the most fantastic lamb chop i have eaten since Rocco cooked. Tapas style food left us $50 down each, and still hungry. Wandered around the corner to another bar, and opened up the champers. Ate a pizza each too. Decided we were having a bbq on Saturday. I'm not sure why. Moved onto another bar where I handed out cigars to myself, john and the barman, who reciprocated with free tequilas. 2am. caught a taxi home, and feel like a rock star with a sore throat. It's a tuesday. why did this happen? Time to black out, no doubt. Time to black out.

Ask the questions later; raise your .45

2006-08-16T01:07:00.000+09:00

Today was a fantastic day. Boss-man took me to the datacentre, and we stopped when getting back to the office at a supermarket. I saw some bacon. I wanted it. I salivated. I needed it. Eating dinner in costs far more than eating dinner out in Japan, if you're not a family. So, once in a way, I treat myself to eating in. And today was such a day. Left work late, following a short run, felt good. Spent about 15quid on the basics, and some more on the wine, went home, and starting cooking a Pig. Ate like a horse. Conversation with the girls. Haruka complaining about a guy she went on a date with, who talked about his rabbits, and how he loved them, and how he loved to play with them. Shortly afterwards, she left for bed, joking that she was off to play with her rabbits. I creased into laughter, and unfortunately she saw the humour. Damn those who are fluent in both language and culture.

Junko showed me some art books. Much pointing, much wrestling with the dictionary, much nodding, but i think I understand. Need to get motivated for stenciling.

I figured what makes me so useless in a job. I always knew that I lacked technical ability, but I also knew that this wasn't the only issue. I'm a joker. Not a smoker or a midnight toker (well, just sometimes) but I can't be serious. Boss man is interpreted by all as super smart. And ok, he is smart, but this isn't the only reason why he's leagues above me. He is leagues above me because he's serious. "Somebody's coming up. Somebody serious." (Leon, fools). Perhaps being permanent is not for me. Perhaps I'm a contractor-scum for life. Shogenai. I'll wait this one out, 1 year. But maybe, meanwhile, i'll try to be serious.

conversation with Ben, me complaining about the company:
bejn says:
bit of an oxymoron really - "corporate culture"

got an email from Onion, him complaining about something utterly inconsequential. you can take the hair off a goth, but the misdirected anger dont get trimmed.
>have just lost a small sum of money playing poker with friends, I think the larger sum of money I spent on lager may have something to with my loss. It certainly has something to do with my irrational anger. ahh the rage.

The Rajani conversation

2006-08-12T20:15:00.000+09:00

lasted a long time today... over 3hours. Quote: "The currency of life is time". Thank the lord for Skype.

I've managed to buy a keitai, so life is back on the agenda. Nokia N71. After 6 years and 5 Ericssons, it's time to move Finland. Mainly because there are no decent Ericsson's available out here.

Oh dear. I work for a company which will not let me change my desktop wallpaper. Attack of the clones.

Grin

2006-08-08T23:31:00.000+09:00

And now i'm grinning from this ear.... all the way to this ear. And right now, my head feels large, so it's a pretty darn big grin. Just spoke to the infamous Ansell, who congratulated me on getting a permanent job. Coming from him, that's as good as a reference from the Pope himself. So feeling somewhat smug. A good thing, because i've been on and off-able about being back in Japan. Especially when i saw how sardine packed the train was this morning. Some guy whose most sincere efforts to scrum into the train failed going bananas as he ram-raided himself into the next carriage. Doors close, faces squashed up against window, me left on the platform wondering how many minutes of oxygen actually remained in the tin can that just passed by.

Also grinning because i got the computer working with the TV. So now can watch movies on the TV. And control them via my ssh session just to be geeky. Just gotta get samba working now...

Signed up to a japanese class starting September. So that's two days off the sauce, perhaps I need 3... kendo calling? or maybe try and buy that damned wall....

The new Zappetti

2006-08-05T09:48:00.000+09:00

The holiday is in the moleskine, and i very much doubt it will get typed up. so let's start with yesterday. quit work asap, got An nomi-kai, and walked across to Marunouchi. Finally got the feeling i'm in The City, as i walked past my workplace, then past Daiwa, Nomura, Mitsubish-UFJ, and got to the bar/cafe. Central and living it. That said, felt nauseous during the day when i got a internal post from HR which contained a welcome letter, welcome DVD, and a small note saying 'you are the key to our future'. Complete with a presentation boxed, company branded large keyfob. Ick. Perhaps one to post to mother. Being permanent is making my stomach turn, trying to hold back the cynicism for corporate culture.

Anyway, met Jez & Ricky down at some UNHCR benefit party, and imbibed at shockingly cheap 500. Ran into a guy whose name, I think, was Andy, and remembered that he's got a houseparty on the 12th, which i will doubtlessly invite myself to... Drunk some, drunk some more, bumped into Albert by chance - Tokyo is the smallest metropolis from which nobody can hide. With the evening over, we edged outside, with Jez managing to boil the nerves of the barstaff by smoking in the lobby. Damme. Damme! Exited, and wasted time waiting for Ricky who was otherwise engaged with some shady looking 1/2 german/japanese girl, by playing with the traffic cones. Between the cones there were black and yellow plastic rods spacing them out, which, in the mind of a 13 year old, were perfect for Light Sabres. Picked up a couple and dueled with Jez. Within a minute, a rod was broken, and within a second, a security guard for the building was barking at us. I chose to ignore him and walk off, but somehow Ricky and Jez became embroiled. Soon there were more gaurds. 7 to be exact. They thought this didn't quite cut it, so they called the cops. 5 cop cars show up, and 9 of Tokyo's finest were soon taking aim at us with their ball point pens and notebooks. For the Tokyo's greatest crime since the 1956 diamond heist. It all boiled over in the end, with me giving a fake contact details to the security guards. Jez had the initial genius of inventing a phantom gaijin named Stephen who was responsible for everything. Stephen the faked moon landings too. Bad, bad guy. But he later lost all credit, falling into the realms of idiocy, by accidentally giving his accountants telephone number to them telling them it was Stephen's number. Turns out Stephen works for KPMG.

king bee sez:

2006-08-04T06:46:00.000+09:00

back by dope demand. after a good holiday, a ridiculous number of flights - far more than anticipated - i'm back in .jp with the post holiday blues. With a new job, a new apartment, and no keitai.

It's summer here, and not humid. I escaped rainy season. Sugoi.

Got a massive splinter in my foot and cant really reach to get it removed. Hoping it just evaporates or something.

emails to write. work to get to. the rush is on.

Had a skype chat with Rocco that ended: When you come back we will all have dinner together. God, I miss having dinner with Italians. There is something missing in the fabric of society today where people do not cook dinner and sit down together to eat often enough. Why dont people do it?

reading: jared diamond, collapse.
listening to: doddering bygones. diskspace to download needed.
have a crush on: last year's riveted cannondale.
scared about: rising interest rates
looking forward to: getting a meishi. Patrick Bateman would have killed for a double sided one.
dreaming about: a UN with teeth. super sharp shooter shooting super obese americans back to texas
wearing: unironed shirts
next delve into consumerland: will buy me a new phone

Barry White

2006-07-07T17:04:00.000+09:00

There was something rather surreal about zipping through Lima at midnight, with the cab driver playing Barry White at full volume. But I'm almost in the jungle... Just one more flight tomorrow.

San Francisco is a fine city. Better than most American cities, as it has old buildings, hills, and a relaxed feeling. I fell victim to trends, and bought a Timbuk2 and a Moleskin. Then went to H&M and bought some clothes, just to taper that God What a Ripoff feeling. But they look pretty....

No real stories to tell about America, other than eating a fantastic burrito, watching Fat People, starting and almost finishing a book entitled Confessions of an Economic Hit Man, watching some kids break into dance when a car with a loud stereo pulled up at the lights next to them, some cool stencilling (flickr shortly) and witnessing the extreme poverty that I have come to expect from the US: accidentally stumbling through an area that looked to be filled with crackheads.

Pants

2006-07-04T23:41:00.000+09:00

And who wears them. For example, Dom does not.

So i've moved into a house which is split into 2 apartments, each 3 bedroom. The people in each apartment get on well with each other and yabber a lot. Turns out they are all girls. So i'm kinda worried about living with so much oestrogen, but shogenai. Girls talk about relationships. A lot. Or maybe it's because they see me as a probable 'safe-guy' (read: homosexual) who they can have these kind of conversations with. God knows. Anyway, you get the picture. So after moving in with so many girls, you get to know very quickly who the Mother Hen is. I reckon - despite her denials - it's Haruka. And so I explained to her that I reckon she Wears The Pants with respect to her boyfriend. It was a pill not swallowed lightly.

In fact, two weeks later, the retort arrived. Mina cooked dinner for us all, and as I tried to share out the Scotch, explaining that I had lived in Scotland for far too many years, Haruka seized the moment to break into a humiliating and rascist; yet congenial impression of a skirt wearing bagpipe playing Scotsman. Hilarious for all the wrong reasons. Apparently, I wear the skirt. I'm too nice. If she says Go, I say OK. Followed up with a description of how, when deciding to let me live with them, they said to themselves "we share apartment, why dont we share the guy?". Kowai. And so I know that it's the right moment to be lasooing a plane heading East. Great Scott, Marty, i'm flying backwards over the international dateline. I land before I fly.

Summer is here

2006-07-04T17:57:00.000+09:00

and it feels good to be sitting in a balcony in shibuya, sipping beer and watching the girls go by.

and later that week, split work on saturday at about 20:00, following an absolutely disastrous disaster recovery test, and headed down to PK's for a rooftop party. I wish i had my camera. woke up at 9am, still on the roof, sweating in the blazing heat, sharing a futon with 3 other people, one of which had a split (lizard man style) tongue. I seem to recall him hurling over the side of the roof earlier in the evening. Pigeons aren't the only danger the sky has to offer.

Finished with Citi on Monday, no emotional goodbyes....and now today is free. Or sorta. Managed to book another flight, another hotel, some travel insurance, and wash some clothes. Tomorrow I embark on journey which is highly likely to see me get eaten by an Anaconda or chased off a cliff by Llama. This is fine, because I owe the Japanese taxman money.


NRT-SFO United Airlines depart 05th July 18:00 - arrive 05th July 11:25
SFO-IAH Continental     depart 06th July 08:15 - arrive 06th July 14:05
IAH-LIM Continental     depart 06th July 16:05 - arrive 06th July 22:46
LIM-TPP Lan Peru        depart 07th July 18:20 - arrive 07th July 19:40
LIM-IAH Continental     depart 26th July 23:55 - arrive 27th July 06:29
IAH-SFO Continental     depart 27th July 07:28 - arrive 27th July 09:38
SFO-AKL Air New Zealand depart 27th July 21:30 - arrive 28th July 05:30
AKL-NRT Air New Zealand depart 31st July 08:30 - arrive 31st July 16:40

so now it's 19:00 and the only thing left to do is fill in a job application, so that i have some way of earning a living upon return, and, i guess, pack.

2006-06-17T21:27:00.000+09:00

went to a lecture yesterday with Alex Kerr. And what hit me was his sheer overwelming level of arrogance in believing that his way was simply unquestionably correct. His views regarding asthetics was {quote} "what the japanese people deserved". wah.

but what i liked best about the evening was buying bento; microwaving it in the konbini; sitting on the road and eating it under the streetlight. The weather was perfect. G was in high spirits, as an internship with Lehman has arrived, leading to such levels of arrogance has not answering a tele interview with Citi Frankfurt. Gambatte. i'm a born gypsy - perhaps i should use 'drinking a beer whilst sitting on the kerb, watching the world go by at 9pm' as a new yardstick for what it takes to hang out with me. and yet, the number of people who i know who wouldn't enjoy that far outnumbers the ones who would.

got my apartment sorted out after 2 interviews. it's in the middle of nowhwere, but at least it's cheap, which means that i have a place to dump stuff.
got my job sorted out after 3 interviews. it's in central tokyo, and i'm feeling a little nervous about the idea of being brought in as someone who knows what they are talking about. this is not me. i'm neither nervous nor knowledgable. but what really scares me is the knowledge that staying in Tokyo actually means missing out on something else. I love Europe and I want to go back. Just not to the UK. Yikes. I guess another year in Japan wont kill me.

the week with bell was intense. he went and did lots of stuff, and now i've got few more checkpoints on the mental map of tokyo to tick off. the science museum sounded cool - maybe next week.

The trouble with working

2006-06-07T18:53:00.000+09:00

just had a rather moderate job interview, and now feeling utterly miserable. I'm not sure why. Maybe i'm just tense pending their final resposnse. Why couldn't they just say OK or SOD OFF. it'd be easier. maybe.

Anyway, the weekend was good. Worked on Saturday morning, then went down to omote-sando to meet jez for a beer. Matt & Shingo made it too. Which was perfect, because we had both just recieved a text message eviction notice from out flat. So spent a few moments complaining about French leeches, dogs, and general dodginess. Sunday was grand too. Mostly just sleeping in shinjuku-goen with belgian beer, cheese, pate and bread. what more could you want? Then ended up in Shimo-Kitazawa for the 2nd time, and i like the place even more. Shame it is so far out of central Tokyo.

I guess, what i'm pondering, is that i could call Japan quits right now. Wind up the migration, resign, fly. Trek S America for a few months, wind up in London, and get a decent job. Build a villa in Portugal and pretend to be happy. Or I could just pretend to be happy here. Right. So try to be positive: Either way, next week should be the Big Week of decisions. I was hoping it would be this week, but looks unlikely. I guess, what's i'm saying is. I have a chance to go to London, which right now, I feel like going to. Why? No idea. Maybe i'm fed up of feeling homeless. In fact, I'm pretty sure, that's the only problem....

So Bell landed yesterday, and I got him drunk, and tried to weasle a thought out of his head an appropriated comment about me being interminably dissatisifed ;but alas no joy. I shall remain interminably disatisfied. We went out to some JET / Peace type party, and Lauren practically jumped on him, which was hilarious as it was, and then I even got a call today from her asking 'to show him around Tokyo'. Annila managed to get every guys phone number in the bar within about one hour, and Rheanna did an amazing disappearing act, which involved not even showing up, despite about 10 calls to ask for directions. Still ice cold. Me or her? Dunno.

And the final response came today. To say they want a couple more weeks and more interviews before the final response. Ick. Which means i've got to get a new place to live before securing a job. I'm told it's normal. BarCap did 4 interviews for a guy.

I guess, I dont really want to work for a living. And I really hate offices. It's a relationship that I want to terminate. But some of the wisest words I ever heard: Don't leave your apartment until you've got a new place to live. Trouble is, i'm already homeless.

2006-06-04T11:09:00.000+09:00

so jamie landed in narita on monday. since then, i've:

-gotten ill, which is peculiar, because i've not been in about 5 years.
-vaguely recovered from illness, which is nice, but not quite there yet.
-found out that jamie adores platinum blondes in awkward looking heels. found out that he doesn't believe it possible i could find this type of woman heinously unattractive. i think she overheard our discussion, which added to my joy.
-found out that jamie does not think that 'demure' is my type.
-managed to take the subway in the wrong direction, missed the last train home, took a cab, and thanked god it only cost 5,000 yen. i think his meter was broken. or maybe this deflation thingy is still out in action.
-become oncall monkey for both equities and fi at the same time
-took two days off work, and wandered around akihabara. twice.
-got scared when we were told that a guy i was working closley with 'will no longer be coming back to work. reasons to be given later'. as a consequence, decided to change my blog name to something more anonymous. when this page disappears either email me or, should you fear inflating my ego, email Dom.

and today, jamie flew off. he seemed to like japan. although, apart from wandering around the city and going canyoning, he didn't really do anything else. Is that all it takes to like Japan? Maybe. I was thinking on the train this morning about the number of times I tried to escape the island. Too numerous to count. And now i've finally done it, I dont feel that same itch and scratch. It feels as if phase one is complete.

I was on skype yesterday, calling home, and speaking to karena, and mum popped into the room to speak for a few seconds. She didn't talk long, and gave the phone back to karena. I think she may have started to cry. It seems to be harder on the parents when their kids are all in other countries, than it is for the kids. Is that because we are less dependent on them? Or because - in the case of my parents - they don't have a comparable social sphere to draw strength from. Not sure, but I guess I should try and not feel guilty about it.

Went canyoning (essentially abseiling down waterfalls). I did not urinate in my wet suit. Other members of the party would not be able to attest the same. Didn't manage to get a waterproof camera though, so i've got a good excuse to go again.

Bell turns up in a couple of days. Looking forward to it with caution. Quote Ikuyo: "I'd go mad if someone stayed with me for more than a few days", Managed to get 3 days off work, but need to arrange some kind out outdoor thing to do...

2006-05-20T00:20:00.000+09:00

got accosted by plain clothes police today. also drank belgian beer with Di and Dave - not seen Di since she's come back from super long holiday. working tomorrow. the lesbians are watching Friends. gerald is hassling me to go see a play on sunday - he's been told to sod off 20x already. want to buy the Sony UX for no particular reason. bought some french francs today. still irritated by the telephone call yesterday.

Garrr...

2006-05-18T23:22:00.000+09:00

I've been in a stonking bad mood for about a week and a half now, despite all {some} things going quite well. I'm missing jokes, not analyzing hard enough, not keeping my patience to the level it should be, wasting time, failing to learn more every day, failing to be accurate, eloquent or charismatic. I want more. Always. I am trying desperately to distract myself by:

a. inventing childish names for everyone at work (the schoolboy, isha-san, camel monkey, bert, ernie, elmer fudd, the tsar).
b. reading solaris manual pages.
c. buying into deranged investment ideas
d. waiting desperately for the chance to drink again.
e. sorting out some things to do when Maund lands his hairy ass in Narita

Then today. Was feeling muchos better, as I bought a yet another Mexican. Called home, Dad's just got back from Vancouver. Talked about the holiday, and then about the fact that my sister isn't married. Then I embarked into an utterly futile 1hr debate into mixed race marriages. I keep forgetting. There is no point. The title of this post reflects my mental pitch and roll.

Good news: Got an email from Bell, talking boring nonsense for 99% of the email, followed by two sentences:
Next date for your calendar is 6th June. I'm landing in Narita.

Sugoi.

Reading a book on Putin's Russia. Pretending to run every day at lunchtime. Sometimes listening to Pimsleur's Japanese. Addicted to Nujabes. Working 7 days this week. Feeling like I'm stupid, but maybe - maybe - I could learn how to be different. Maybe I could catch up.

Time is not a nice person. I know, because the sign said it. Time can be generous; but ultimately time is indifferent. Time does not give two damns or a f-k. So what will you do? What will we do?

Interview

2006-05-11T16:57:00.000+09:00

I didnt know whether to decline their offer of an interview on the grounds of their names, or the fact that i have another offer. What is this? A frickin' clown show?

Dear Sir,

I would like to confirm an interview as below

Interviewers : Mr. Maung Myint, Mr. Will Billy

Week gone by

2006-05-09T21:58:00.000+09:00

was fantastic. I think it was Friday - took to the hills, took photos, took Italian in Shibuya for dinner; and got a call from Jeremy for beer. But I was wearing shorts. Pit stop at UniQlo, bought trousers, Roppongi, beer. Met a guy with the same style, same attitude, and almost the same name as someone back in Edinburgh (fong). The similarity was hilarious. To me. Went to some relatively non-gaijin club in Azabu with bad music. Anyway, at about 1am, got an email direct to my phone (no need of crackberries in this country) saying that Mum was in London, back from holiday in Canada. She got back a few days ago, and since she was on her own, I felt a pang of guilt for not calling. Went to the quietest place I could find, the bathroom, and dialled plusfortyfour. 4 seconds north of an hour, my battery ran out. In the meantime, Jeremy wanders up the bathroom, spots me inside, and says {slured} "give me the phone. let me speak to her". because he thought it was a girl. he got a firm N&O. Yet he continued to insist. And then she heard and said "give him the phone". And so I eventually handed the phone over to him. And then, for what felt like an unduly proctracted period - they discussed sausages. God save me.

Saturday, looked at new apartments with John. Had to translate all our questions using yahoo translate. But the guys were patient, and we learnt lots. Decided to give up sauce completely this month. Until the 28th. Met up with a gang in Shibuya later in the day that Rimiko had amassed, and ate at some Izakaya. Stayed sober. Got made fun of. The grapefruit juice did something unwanted to my stomach. When we all met outside the station, Rimiko brought along a girl from her workplace. Now, here is something women dont get caught doing often, but when they do, it is so so funny. The girl (whose name escapes me) was caught staring at John. Ha. So after dinner, we're all saying goodbye, and I manage to leave the two of them together, and walk off hurriedly, giving John a chance to swap numbers. Instead, she says "BYE" at lightspeed to him, and catches up with me, taking the same train, and laughing at all my irreverent excuses for humour. Yikes. All the way back, I was fighting two demons: "dont get her number" vs "get her number for john".

Sunday, Ometosando Hills. It's like Orchard Road comes to Tokyo. Wandered around some of the posher areas of Tokyo, and then somehow ended up in Iidabashi, where I discovered a 180Yen izakaya. 90p beiru sounds like Praha to me. Nasdrovia. Rocco's given up smoking. We've made a deal that we'll quit alcohol and beer respectively. Well, at least until the 28th.

But yesterday - Tuesday - I was irritated. It looked more and more likely that I'll be heading back to the YouKay in August. ML isn't offering permie, MS have the agency tangle, UBS was a longshot that's gone quiet, GS is a contract (and who in their right mind would want to be a contractor at GS anyway), DKW and NCL aren't paying the magic number, KBC said no. So feeling like it's all going bad at the moment. Well, at least I have the next few months to enjoy Japan, and I wont have to look for another apartment....

Crikey - today - Wednesday. Boss-boss man just offered me the Magic Number. Called Merrill. They can't swing permanent. Relieved that I have Citi at least. Got to think now. I guess this means I'm staying in Nippon.

[22:18:39] rocchino83 says: two night ago
[22:18:44] rocchino83 says: ahah
[22:18:51] rocchino83 says: one of my colegs
[22:19:06] rocchino83 says: not very pretty but two big teet
[22:19:08] rocchino83 says: .)
[22:19:21] rocchino83 says: but now i have to see her every f-king day
[22:19:36] rocchino83 says: you understand, this kind of mess
[22:19:55] rocchino83 says: i'am a stupid

main concern

2006-05-05T11:37:00.000+09:00

the only thing i'm pushing for right now is A Job. manager-manager man came to talk to me today, and offered me a number. I scoffed, and explained that if I accepted that amount, I would be itchy to get back to London town. Pay me more, and i'll
stop itching. I doubt they will. Damn, I'm arrogant. Damn, i'm losing faith in the Japanese job market. I can get a job, but I can't get the money. Alternate streams of income? Arbitrage is something i've historically been successful at, so will have to start thinking and thinking. Then confusion, as Morgan Stanley are hunting me outside of the agency. The agency is going crackers, worried about losing their commission, and i'm probably going to get my CV burnt to avoid litigation. Which leaves ML. I hope. I hope.

Madness at the flat. The lesbians want to leave, sooner. No specific plans, of course, just approximate gestures and hesitant movements. Having dinner with them today. Matt's tasked me with:
-finding out how they met, given that they are polar opposites of each other
-what drives someone to get into a super high maintenance relationship
-where the hell swedish girl got into the equation.
And then the best quote I have ever heard: "I dont want Nana to have other friends - then she would spend less time with me". Does somebody need to spell UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP before it's understood? Bah. Frightening.

Friday went to the Ice Bar. Nothing to do with Swedish girl, but because somebody wanted to go, and ended up dragging a bunch of people. Photos on flickr later. They reckon the ice is imported from Sweden. You'd be pretty stupid to do that, but not everyone thinks the same way. I saw a woman in high heels trying, and failing, to carry her bike up some stairs. A old man was giving me the eyeball as if to say "why dont you help her". i can't help stupidity - she should have been using the ramp. Let her suffer.

Cant remember what happened the rest of the week, but then I had two days of work, Mon & Tue, until Golden Week, the week of 3 public holidays, kicked off. So far it's been a blast. First day, met Monsieur B down at some show, and spent a fortune on precious metals. Then got a message from John to go out to Shibuya for a few. So, with a few man yen worth of silver and gold in my bag, I proceeded to get trashed on cheap wine. A gamble that proved lucky - but I guess I am always lucky - as it paid off. Got home without losing anything, and met a couple of guys to go to the beach with the next day.

So Thursday, Shink'd it down to Atami, and hung out at the beach. Met some kids and played volleyball with them. There was three of us, and 5 of them. They were a damn sight more acrobatic,but somehow we managed to win. Then enroute back to Tokyo, Derek changed plans and suggested we drop in at his host family (from when he was an exchange student) and have dinner with a Japanese family in the countryside. He promised they were crazy. The father (small dude in his 50s) met us at the trainstation, and we got into the car. The usual banter about what you are doing and how long you have been in Japan. Then he asks: "How long are you staying in Japan". I reply "100 years". He grins, and retorts: "It must be all these lose Japanese girls". I thought: This guy is cool. When I explain how this the first time I have been to a Japanese house, he walks around explaining how everything is - and even offers to let me use his bath, which is an incredibly personal offer. He shows me how he prays to his ancestors, and how the Kanji names (upon death, a new name is given) of his ancestors are written on wooden slates kept in the cabinet. His wife cooks up a feast, we tell stories - I particularly like explaining that I am now living in Japan, having been born in England; my father was born in Kenya; and my Grandfather was born in India. It always gets a wow factor. Their son (about my age) replies: "I am born in here. My father here. My great great great great grandfather, here". Sugoi. Took the train back to Ikebukuro, and walked home slowly. Fantastic day.

Somebody asked the other day: "Just why do you like Japan so much - what is it?" My reply at the time was weak, and so i've thought about it a bit more. When, back in Scootland, did I ever play beach volleyball with some random kids on a lazy afternoon by the beach? Didn't I always feel something was missing? I guess, in Japan, I know what is missing, but it will take a few years to plug the gap. And that clarity brings a sanity. But there's always sake in the meantime. What will I feel when I get what I want?

Naked Men

2006-04-18T22:49:00.000+09:00

In Japan, nudity really isn't an issue. And I've gotten used to it now. So I'm wandering across the changing rooms, butt naked, and I see something I'm not expecting... A Tattoed Man. Huge tattooes across his back. I think, in sequence: "Oh my god, he's Yakuza. Oh my god, i'm naked too. And I'm staring at another man." Scurry off to shower.

Later that evening, bad mood, as I screwed up an interview with KBC. A couple of days later, good mood, as Merrill Lynch offer me a job. Then a better mood still, as I dream about heading off to an island. Just me and my [current] best friend. She brings me clarity. She's fantastic at making conversation. She's Scottish.

Took Friday and Monday off, wrestled with some bureaucracy during the day on Friday, met Paul at Toki in the evening, had a few for the road. Jumped on an overnight ferry down to Shikinejima. The island that nobody has heard of.

Woke up, fell off the ferry, and got hailed by a man who called me "Wendy-san". He had a T-shirt which had a kanji which matched the one on my map, and he looked friendly, so I followed him. First day, rented a bicycle, toured the entire 4km2 island, snapping Canon happy. Look mum, nooooo hands! I survived dropping the bike a couple of times, and fell asleep on the beach. There are 600 people on the island in total, and I came across hardly anyone. I cycled out for a couple of hours at a time without even hearing another person. Quite a world away from Shinjuku. Later, met a couple of Japanese girls who told me that the onsen was open at night. Do you want to go? {pause whilst i pondered carefully....}. It was amazing. Imagine being outdoors, in a boiling hot natural spring, staring out at the ocean, and up at the stars on a secluded tiny island. And nobody else around. Went back the next morning for photos. This was the detox I needed from too many hours spent working for megacorp in the megaopolis. No internet and no keitai.

Had a couple of wierd dreams:
- That I was in someway connected with the guarding of Saddam Hussein around the time when he is facing death by electrocution.
- That I was sentenced to death myself, and just remember being so incredibly irritated by the pressure of closing out all the loose ends. Like moving house, country, job, all at the same time. At the end of the tax year. God, I hate taxes. More than death.

Close encounters of the Yamanote kind

2006-04-16T15:52:00.000+09:00

Originally uploaded by ダニエル　ソザ.

went to roppongi yesterday for a few minutes to meet the ricky gang. they're a disparate bunch of soldiers...socially, i dont know where it's at. got a email from john on the way there saying he was in roppongi, so after a couple of hours, i shooted mori side and went to meet him. ran into spence. left the bar when john arrived, and then spent the next 20mins feeling guilty about leaving spence behind at the bar. so had a drink with john and derek instead, in what is possibly the only japanese bar in roppongi. a lucky find. stories of: wanting to do a japanese version of trigger happy tv and dimishing returns on japanese girls when your language skills improve (a risk i'm willing to take).

took the yamanote home and saw a girl and thought: "I want you to notice". Had a 120 second conversation with a her before her stop. She noticed. Then thought: "I wish I had a meishi". Jumped off the train, found Matt in the station, walked around trying to find some place to drink. Saw some cats eating from the rubbish bags, and thought of romeo. tried to send the MMS to romina, failed to remember her address, and sent it to heather instead, along with a garbled note about the phone keypad being rubbish, or something.

Complained about the all kinds of stuff, and all kinds of people, and came up with the phrase "Terrible Exciting".

Got home and called Bell. He's coming over. So is Maund. Neither of them are so keen to bring the Cannondale. Mergh. Finally got to bed around 3am, so late for work :-|

Then got news - need to see a Man about a Dog. Two different dogs. Both next week. Scared. But should be cool. Quote Scully:
"A 10 hour interview sounds a bit grim -- I guess we have to remember that giving someone a permie job is exactly that -- a license to collect a salary til retirement..."

Decadence: Felt too scabby to run at lunctime, so just printed out the newspaper and read it in the Sauna instead. Had a shave too. What kind of world do i live in, whereby I pull into an executive gym, and read the paper in the Sauna in the middle of the day?

Friday evening: Now, i'm not really in the Equities team, but for some reason, I got invited out to a Equities party. No information given as to why/what/who. So, in spirit of Never Say No, i indulged, and followed a couple of guys to a restaurant, to be presented with The Vendor. Cherching. He was a Japanese sales guy working for Sun. He studied in Reading. I ask: Purple Turtle? And snap, we've bonded. After dinner and drinks, Nathan and I dragged him to Roppongi, and then Nathan gave up. So, it was left to me, to break both him and his expense account. Got a call Sachin who happened to be across the road. Introduced him to Sun Microsystems: "Sachin, this is Yogi. He wants a gaijin girlfriend." At about 2am, he was looking wasted, at 3am I couldn't find him anymore. Success - I BROKE THE SALESMAN. Went to Vanilla with John and had a sub-mediocre time. Yoshinoya at 6am, and the train home. Got a tune in my head which I can't sing, and need to find the name of. Gargh.

Woke up on Saturday and felt like death. No time to go out for food, looked in the fridge and found a few cans of beer. Ick. Did some cursory cleaning, and then headed out to Makuhari, for Jack Johnson. Took the wrong train, but so did Renata, so strangely enough it worked out. Going to concerts in Japan is fantastic because:
- Not many people are much taller than me.
- Guys like JJ would ordinarily sell out in Europe, but are not so busy over here. Smaller crowd, better gig.
- It gives me something to do which isn't just drinking beer.

Concert was very good. He even spoke more Japanese than me. But no Holes To Heaven. Then, finally, at 11pm, and after many Lowenbrau's, I had my first meal of the day. This is not going to last...

Sunday, and i'm back at work. Blogging. Got some Lebanese dinner thingy for Easter dinner for tonight.

Success

2006-04-12T00:18:00.000+09:00

Or failure.

A recurring theme in my life. Which is odd that it should come up today, since i woke up this morning dreaming of people i used to know. I never quite understand those dreams.

Anyway, went to some lecture today by a guy from GS who was talking about retail banking in Japan (feel free to judge me on the fact that i found it interesting, and worthy of 3000 yen) and went on to have a beer with James/Gerald/Rimiko. Money. Probably the only thing that i have in my life to define success by. I am not, in my own eyes, a successful person. I have never been in the top 50% for academia (school results were awful, university gave me a sympathy degree). I have never been in the top 50% for sports (this requires no further explanation, i am utterly useless at all sports, whether solo or team). I am quite extraordinarily skilled at repelling women (again, requires no examples). I have never been 'the cool guy'. And when you are young, these failures, and the insecurities they breed, bug you. Because, what is left to separate you from the masses? Why should you have any self esteem?

As you get older, you get comfortable. Comforable with yourself, and how you fit in, and your self confidence grows. This is largely because, you find your niche. Something to separate you from the masses. Something to excel at.

I dont see why it is so shallow that I should deem earnings and net wealth as a signal of my own accomplishments. Not that i'm there. I just dont see:

a. A change in any of the 4 criterion above. I cannot imagine becoming either intelligent, athletic, a Cassonova, or charismatic, above the median average of society.
b. what is so wrong in being shallow. What is so wrong, or shameful, about Soros?

And so, what is on my mind, is now on paper.....

Vending Machine

2006-04-09T12:01:00.000+09:00

DSC00120
Originally uploaded by ダニエル　ソザ.

The most graffiti-ed vending machine in Tokyo.

Inflation

2006-04-08T12:28:00.000+09:00

I've spent a lot of time recently getting over-concerned with inflation, and how the commodity price correction is going to lead to inflation of paper money. This means rate rises, and i'm scared that the price of my mortgage will go up. Especially bad, given the fact that i'm not earning enough money. Fear has subsided, i've worked out how to hedge. Just got to get it done now. Made a wiki to jot down insane ideas. Why didn't I do an economics degree? I'm sure that i'm a PPE type character now.

I've spent a whole three days away from the sauce, and it's done me some good, and some bad. The flat is irritating me now. Perhaps i need more sauce.

John looks like he'll be getting a job with Azora. Good money - closing in on Euro levels - so it's made me confident that i'll get something halfway decent here.

I needed to email a scanned copy of my passport to some guy, and so i walked around with it on Friday. Got it scanned, left the building, dropped it out of my bag, and walked 300m down the road. Got chased by some Japanese dude who returned it to me. Phew. Went out in Ebisu later that day, found a bar that looked like a charcuterie. Stopped for a beer, and left my bag (inc passport) behind. Realised it was missing, strolled back to the place, and picked it up 10minutes later. Japan has no crime.

'Copying the floppy' is turning out to be a disaster. A few mistakes that became a series, that became a catalogue, has now plagued it. I've been in the office every single day for 30 days - apart from a public holiday. I might take tomorrow (Sunday) off. I've become all serious about work. I dont want to give up Oracle, but it doesn't really exist out here. I still want to head towards architecture. how am i going to do it now? CSJ? Need to consult the Brazilian guru.

Thought of a venture. Emailed Dipesh. Got a reply. First sentence:
Hi Dan - Money and Friends don't mix.

He's right, and he knows I know it. I'm going to have to do this one on my own. I guess that just means I am going to have to want it more.

PK turned out to be gay. Yet another homosexual. Anyone that claims the ratio is less than 50% is lying. In other news, Gerald, Rimiko and Renata are all fleeing the country. Am I going to miss them?

GOT TO LEARN JAPANESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
bought a small dictionary, carrying it around with me, and now looking up words slowly and painfully. need to join a class as well. at least it will give me something productive to do in the evening.

Wide Face

2006-04-02T11:41:00.000+09:00

Karena has written up an excellent summary of everything happened whilst she and Anthea were here, thus obviating the necessity for me to write anything. It would be duplication. Poor duplication.

so, of late, i have been utterly useless with regard to posting blog entries. some excuses include being busy, not having specific things to post on, and not having things that i am allowed to post on. it's a combination of all of these things. time has been scarce of late, it is true. since anthea and karena flew off, i've been out every single day, doing different things, from going to yoyogi park to picnic - hanami, to going up to kawagoe to look at old buildings. it's all good.

work has been crazy busy as well. i'm working with micromanagers and macroasses. the load has increased substantially, and i'm beginning to think that, perhaps, this company does actually do something for a living. it doesn't just grow on trees.

although, i think japan is back, and it's grow grow grow from hereon. thinking of buying platinum coins as well now. stopped thinking of equities so much. the run's not over, but it's just points from hereon, not real cash. maybe.

i've been listening to pop - like Beck's more recent album, and running at the gym during lunchtime, and going out with randoms who i neither care about or even remember the faces of. so a bit closer to the Patrick Bateman lifestyle that i always wanted. the Ginko is treating me well, and i'm even contemplating going permie. Well, it's not a contemplation, it's a deal. if i can make X, i will. if i can't, i'll try elsewhere. if i can't get it elsewhere, i'll cry, fly back to the smaller, smellier, soaking wet island and work there instead. not looking forward to it. expect me to whine like an aussie. the holiday is over. now it's all about the mullah.

trying to learn more japanese, and got the whole flash card thing going at work, so at least the alphabet is getting under control.

something that happened in the park. Japanese kid drops his kegs and runs around shaking his stuff in front of everyone, pointing and shouting "my favourite person" in english, for my benefit. but, i guess because i was drunk too, it wasn't quite as "for god's sake" as when it happened back on the other island

tried to explain to gerald why i had to work the weekend "to migrate storage". " you had to copy the floppy?"

withdrew 320,000 yen from the ATM yesterday, to pay for a couple of months rent, and some other stuff. I was going to make it my first night in, for two weeks. Got a call from Masa asking for drinks instead. Had to oblige. Imagine going out, getting horrendously drunk, and taking a ram packed late train home, in London, with 1600squid in your back pocket? Japan is safe. Super safe. Withdrew another 200,000 today. Going to Tanaka, seeking Ag and Pt.

Question: Should I sell the flat in Edinburgh?
Question: Do i want to go back to bad weather, crime, filthy streets, late trains, VAT, yobs, cultural devoid arrogant obese imbeciles?

Saturday: hanami. Otemachi was crazy busy as everyone was headed out for a picnic, given that bad weather was predicted for Sunday. Sat by a lake, took some photos, drank some beers, ordered some pizza. Gerald's genius idea of ordering pizza to a park actually paid off.

Dom reckons i've stopped posting because i've taken the http stats off. I'm going to try and prove him wrong.

10 Mar 2006

D/D

STUDENT LOANS CO , FINAL PAYMENT

63.79

Sunday. Got a call from The Maund at about 7am, and yabbered about nothing and everything for an hour. Felt a little nostalgic for old times and youth.

Went to work for a short time, and had lunch with Venkat. He's quiet, and I reckoned that he would have an opinion worth listening to, because he mentioned an obscure current affairs fact the other day. So I listened - which is incredibly unusual for me. Japanese education is rubbish. Even private schools. His wife doesn't work, and has made Japanese friends here, and speaks decent Japanese. In my book, that's admirable. Too many people move to another country, with their wives, and watch their wives sit indoors and do nothing other than raise the children. The thought of it irks me.

Went to see a photo exhibition afterwards in Ebisu. Some interesting ideas. But then when I was walking outside, i noticed how European Ebisu feels. Big open spaces, stately looking buildings. I actually though, for a brief moment, maybe London aint so bad. Renata was laughing. She is fed up to the teeth with Japan. But I (officially) love it - I just reminisced. Breifly.

Trying to figure out what to do in Golden Week. Shikoku sounds good.

Way behind on emailing people. Feeling excessively guilty about it, but attacking it one per day. slowly but surely.

Damn. Golden week just got cancelled on me. Oncall. So i've taken a few days off before, and am going to Shikoku anyway. 4 days. Hmmm...

Rimiko used an expression on Sunday which was a literal Japanese translation:
"Danieru. You have a wide face". which isn't quite the insult that it immediately appears. A wide face is an expression to describe someone who knows a lot of people.

Create Rap Music Cuz I Never Dug Disco

2006-03-18T10:22:00.000+09:00

So, in the last few weeks, i have:

- had my sisters over for 2 weeks, and spent one week of that travelling the country with them. photos soon, on flickr.
- got into a mountain of work at work
- started going t the gym at lunchtime and have more free time to go out in the evening

I can't remember much of what happened when Anthea & Karena were here, but at least i have the photos.

A Japan-only moment: I came into work today to move a server from one datacentre to the other. So i power it off, go upstairs, watch the datacentre guys unrack it and give it to the courier guys to box it. There were about 5 courier guys in total, 4 young, and one old guy. Guess who was doing all the work? So I turned around to the datacentre guys and said: I feel bad. There are so many young people watching this old guy do all the heavy lifting.

There were two responses from the datacentre guys, one of which was Phillipino and one which was Japanese.
Philipino guy says: Yes, it's bad, it's heavy.
Japanese guy says: They let him do it, because he is very skilled.

Anyway, this week has been good so far. Saturday, went to Andy's place (i dont know any andys', but this is the name of a bar) to meet some guys with Anthea, the day before she flew out. We all had a great time, and I met two more republicans. Now I'm fed up of meeting republicans, and want to meet someone who was in the banking industry 20 years ago, in Tokyo. I want to hear stories. The Dot Com madness that we saw was not even 1/10 of what these guys experienced. Maybe 1/100th.

Sunday: Brazilian thing
Monday: Mysterious, Shinjuku
Tuesday: Public holiday. BBQ followed by karaoke
Wednesday: Climbing
Thursday: Drinks with Matt... soon.

At the bbq i met a Japanese guy who lived in Italy for 4 years, to train as a chef. He is now Italian. He dresses Italian, curses Italian, speaks English with an Italian accent, and, of course, is misogynistic. We both complained about Japanese women: Beautiful, but lacking passion.

So i'm enjoying life. Right now, I want to get a permanent job, and just stay in Japan. Really. Why should I go back?

Yesterday

2006-03-03T12:55:00.000+09:00

I had a few beers with the Russians after work. Vitaly told me about how he searched for his name on the internet, and found his ex-wife, having not contacted her for 14 years. She's kept his name, and is selling hunting dogs over the net. So he got in touch, and told me about an old Russian proverb "Time heals". Some things are human, not Russian. Some people's alcohol tolerance level is human, not Russian, so I scooted off to Shibuya.

I was running late, which is good, because back home I really care about timing. Nowadays, I just can't seem to be ontime. Anyway, 300 yen coin bar, blah blah blah, and Dipesh calls me. It's been 6 months since I've left the UK, and I'm starting to like the way that the people who stay in touch can be counted on a few fingers. I guess there are some people in your life you will never let go of. Everyone else is just there to pad out the spaces between meeting those few. Told him about all the Maybachs' and Brabus' that i've been seeing, and now he's keen on coming over to visit. It'll never materialize, but it's good to know that he'd like to. I got castigated for not bothering to learn Japanese. I guess. Hmm. when I come back from holiday.

Went to one of those small bars in Shibuya after that, which was about 2m squared in size, and met a British dancer guy on tour here who is ethnic Korean, but has a Japanese haircut. He was entertaining, and i'm not sure why. Went back to Ikebukuro with him and Matt, and they got a few more drinks at an Izakaya. I gave up the ghost about 3am, and slept through my alarm. Made it to work an hour late. Oops.

Entertainment on the metro this morning, as some sweaty guy stands up, drops his trousers, draws all attention by coughing loudly, and proceeds to give himself a thorough scratch and tickle. Then spends two stops adjusting his trousers, and sits back down. I was laughing, most people were just doing there Metro Manners and staring at the floor. Unreal.

Resolve: Pending; Intention: Stirring

2006-02-20T21:48:00.000+09:00

quote Christopher: In Europe, 20% of the women hold 90% of the beauty. So there are 80% out there sharing the rest, and the situation isn't so favourable. In Japan, it's not so egalitarian. 5% of the women hold 90% of the beauty. When they are beautiful, it's amazing.

I saw a man today paying for dinner at a the same el-cheapo place as me. He opened his wallet, and I saw what must've been at least 500,000 Yen. Probably closer to 1M. These guys are too used to safety. Imagine walking around London with 5k STG?

If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. It is stops moving, subsidize it.

Specialisation is what is going to kill this wonderful bliss that is IT. I get paid an unreasonably large amount of money for doing absolutely nothing. The fact that they pay me at all is a challenge to understand. And yet I predict doom. 5 years ago, an SA would have to design, order, take delivery, rack up, cable, provision SAN volumes, network, jumpstart, install apps, create accounts, backup, rock and roll. Now, there are separate monkies in separate teams to do all these tasks. Which means my job is becoming that of the burger flipper at McDonalds. Succint, individual tasks, that can be exacted and mindlessly replicated. Outsourcing just became a whole lot easier.

Genius. I just saw a bicycle helmet with a rear view mirror sticking out of it.

Japanese, when they are ill, wear masks, to keep the germs to themselves. It is odd at first, and querky afterwards, but never really 'normal' to see it. I will try and get a picture. There is no way in hell i'm wearing a mask, irrelevant of what viral contagion I happen to be spewing up into society. I'm intolerant of their ways, in fact, I laugh at them. This is awful. Imagine telling all the muslims back home to go out drinking, and then have a bacon and sausage fry-up the next morning? Why are we so utterly intolerant and unwilling to accept other people?

When I say PUT, do you think verb, http or derivative? I've moved from left to write. Cheap pun, ok, but i've learnt a lot about money markets recently.

I think, since my shin healed, the endorphins have started flowing again. Life is good. I'm even considering staying out here. I've left it to a magic number, which, of course, I will only know about at the end of this contract (if the damn thing ever gets signed off). If I can't get it, no regrets.... I hope. Is that the only thing that matters? Shisser. I dont want it to be. Edson told me that the magic number is possible - in some cases. Grinning kampai.

Listening to Shawn Smith and reading Richard Dawkins. Genki des. Honto des. I think I've found her; I'm tingly. So I read a Kanji. This could be the real thing. The long haul baby.

$$$ REWARD $$$: 20,000 Yen for bringing my Cannondale over to Japan.

Do Not Look Directly Into Laser Beam With Remaining Eye

2006-02-20T18:44:00.000+09:00

i've waited years to meet a republican, and i was starting to doubt that any really existed. so yesterday, some demi-important looking guy (ie old guy that wasn't so chilled out) turned up in Toki, and it became clear, pretty quickly, that he wanted to bomb towel heads, in the interest of his own security. Clearly, he didn't care that there was no Bin Laden link, he didn't care about Iraqi security. This was all irrelevant. It was cool. This was the real thing. A modern day Nazi, without the stripes - at least most members of the National Socialist party had the balls to take what they believed in to the battlefield, personally. I want to know how many of these guys would do the same. The icing on the cake was when I asked him outright if he was a Republican. He refused to directly answer my question, and when I pushed him for an answer, he just said 'i vote for whatever is best for me'. I couldn't help laughing. This is a guy who is reasonably intelligent, yet convinced that killing children is a necessity for his superior life. Beautiful. He's going to make sure that there ain't enough seats left in hell for me, and there's a fighting chance i'll be upgraded. Prost Amerika.

In hindsight, this guy is probably going to get me fired. if that happens, or even if it doesn't, i'm going to print out pictures like this and leave it on his desk. Securitize this you nazi.

Left Toki, and jumped on a train to the opposite end of the city, Shibuya. By this stage my ability to recall the directions i was given was waning. Somehow, quite possibly through Matt's patience, I managed to find the place. It was cool. There was a big Russian guy who thought I spoke Russian because i could say Nasdrovia. There was a guy who was playing Soprano Sax in the the middle of the floor, which was a riot. Thank god that there was some guy (whose name i will never remember, irrelevant of how many times i meet him) with a very cool Nissan, similar to the Cube, but not quite. thank god he drove us home.

Managed to get >4 hours sleep before running back to work, on Saturday, to make a DNS change. Oh la la. And then tres bored, as I had to hang around for 8 more hours. So I ate two lunches. Was going to meet Renata & Rimiko for dinner, but got a call from Benjamin instead saying that Mulu's leaving party was on. Cancelled Renata. Went to Shibuya. Met more Germans. I know i did the right (aka selfish thing), but still feel slightly guilty. Invited her to go snowboarding this weekend, but now i've started to doubt whether i can make it...

Spent most of Sunday asleep, or watching Lost. I think it's rubbish. Weak script, awful acting, overdone makeup. But everyone ranted about it so much, that I might watch a couple more episodes. Sleep is good. I realised, from last weekend, how useful it actually was. After I have sleep, concentration improves. It's magical.

Hmm. my contract expires tomorrow, or today, and I haven't heard back from them yet. It's nice to know that it doesn't matter.

Two points:

i'm going to use names in my blog more often from now on, as i'm quite convinced that 99% of the people i have met out here will evaporate as memories and I will lose touch with them, very quickly. It's nice to know that it doesn't matter.

I told Monsieur B: Stop paying tax. it's like buying leather seats for your くるま. it's expensive. and it's optional.

Bird Flu

2006-02-16T16:19:00.000+09:00

The obsession with North Korea continues, I have found a new website: www.kcna.co.jp Some hilarious numbers, including talk of South Korean famine following the '97 won devaluation (without discussing the currency crisis), talk of Japanese mayors paying tribute to Kim, interesting views on the invasion of Iraq, South korean kidnappings.

Out with Jeremy yesterday, and stumbled across this cockney talking Yokohaman. Madness. He had all the slang and all the glare. He was cockney. Aparently, he was in Earl's Court for 2 weeks, where he developed a voice that he could use to sell fruit & veg with. Birds love it. Innit.

Met a co-worker of Owen's, whose name escapes me, who looked about 23. He was 30. Japanese don't seem to age. He told me about how he is interested in anthropology, and so he wrote his thesis on the history of Sake culture in Japan. Must've been a hell of a ride researching it.

Was out with Matt a couple of days back, and ate raw chicken. It looked like some variant of parma ham in the picture, so we ordered it. It was odd - very little taste, although the texture was good. Not worthwhile overall, and i'm sure it's rife with diseases. Apparently, some Japanese people do eat it. But not often. So now i think i've got bird flu.

Seven deadly sins: I fear mine is envy. But i'm not really jealous of anyone's life in entirely. Just bits of it. Maybe that's ok.

Hijiori

2006-02-13T22:14:00.000+09:00

Friday: got news about some Germans that were celebrating the world cup with table football and German food. then I heard that there was nomihodai on German beer, which was the only sale needed. wandered around the vicinity of the Canadian embassy, finally stumbled upon the German cultural centre, and learned how to say prost. found a crew of people willing to make the trip down to shibuya for karaoke. Tokyo is proving itself to be a village again - ran into Rie in the metro station. said hello in some shocking way, and escaped before she could follow. time was short, so I haggled for 500 yen for 30 minutes, with the intention of getting the last train home. everyone decided to stay beyond that, and instead, we paid for another 2 hours. Unsurprisingly, given the company, 99 luft ballons and Dschinghis Khan featured heavily... Quit Karaoke, walked around the corner, and landed in some club which took the last of the spare change in my pocket for entrance and the rest was a blur. Shibuya is a far better place by leagues to Roppongi - at least there are Japanese people in the bars and clubs. Found ourselves in Mcdonalds at 5am, feeling groggy. Took the yamanote home, changed my clothes, picked up a spare T-shirt and my SLR, and headed back out, across town to Tokyo station. Got the 7.16am shinkansen to Shinjo with 60 seconds to spare. Sat in a reserved space, which i felt justified in doing, especially after paying 12,000 yen for a one-way ticket to god-knows-where, and knowing that sleep was imminent...

Woke up 300 km North of Tokyo surrounded by snow in a small town called shinjo. my thoughts were, in order: "that's beautiful. god, it's cold. damn, i smell. ah, painful pulsations in my head." jumped off the train, and met Rimiko, with her nephew. He saw me, and ran away immediately.
"he's probably never seen anyone like you before". Found Sumi, who turned out to be on the same train as me, and the four us headed out to meet Rimiko's father "chottooooo, nihongo wakari masen". Drove over to the ryokan in Hijiori. As we headed out further and further into the wilderness, despite feeling nauseous, i was in awe of the beauty. Japan has a countryside so much more beautiful than I imagined. I thought it would be all Shinjuku neon. Got to the place, ate some food, got some sleep. Wandered around outside, played in the snow, threw snowballs, rode sleds borrowed from the kindergarten, discovered an igloo. Got back home and had an amazing dinner, consisting of more than 10 different dishes, each of which was more delectable than the last, served in pottery that made me scared to eat from it. This was one of the rare times that i've actually felt fat from eating Japanese food. Wandered down to the Onsen, and enjoyed a bath in total isolation, without seeing or hearing another soul. Wore a Kimono. Played cards. Read my book. Slept.

Sunday: Woke up in time for breakfast, ate too much, went back to sleep. Woke up again for lunch, ate too much, packed our stuff, and got a lift back to Shinjo with Rimiko's brother in law. This guy used to be a racing driver, and despite the fact that he was now in control of a diesel minibus, in extreme snow, saw no reason to display caution. I'm sure he was cautious, in his own way. Shinjo had a snow festival going:

I wandered around and tried to take pictures, but unfortunately the snow was too heavy. there were guys with chainsaws who were shaping tree stumps into animals. huge cartoon characters like the ones in the picture. then a stage, where the power rangers, or their predecessors, appeared on stage for some live show with lots of sound effects and fighting. it was too cold, so we decided to leave for the station. bought a banana covered in chocolate and walked to the station with it. saw a convoy of humvees with japanese peace force dudes inside. i stood at the side of the road, with the chocolate banana high up in one hand, smiling at the sight of the ridiculously oversized vehicle that is the humvee. The soldier caught sight of me, turned his head, and saluted. What was going through his mind as he saluted a grinning gaijin with a chocolate banana held up high?

quick things

2006-02-09T00:22:00.000+09:00

I met a young Japanese guy today who was complaining about the alignment with the USA. A few thing he said which I cannot verify, and only some of which I have tried to verify:

The US embassy is actively, and vocally encouraging the use of credit cards in Japan
10% of the population lives in Tokyo.
the population is aging rapidly, and government money is needed to pay for them
The above two facts mean that social disparity is set to increase is this almost utopian socially flat country as someone is going to have to give, and not everyone will recieve
Prime ministers before Koizumi-san went to Yasakuni, but nobody dared raise an eyebrow. The Asian neighbours are more powerful now, and unwilling to turn the other cheek
The idea of rewriting or cancelling article 9 is something that made him feel sick. A feeling that most of the Japanese youth, I am sure, will share. However, the fact that the people that I have met all feel this way is irrelevant - i have never met a Republican. And there are more Republicans than there are Democrats in Jesusland.
He wants to move to Germany as there are more holidays there

I met an Alaskan who came up with an excellent line: "America is beautiful in it's sacred hypocrisy."

I had lunch at Asterisk again today. A 2000 Yen lunch, and worth every single yen.

Fox News

2006-02-04T14:43:00.000+09:00

is fantastic as it unequivocally shows you that Rumsfeld really did say that...

Quote Donnie R.: "He's a person (Chavez) who was elected legally — just as Adolf Hitler was elected legally"

Last weeks troubles... Monday: Ran. A mere 5km, but it hurt.
Tuesday: Drunk with Gerald, Josh, Jaimie, Rimiko. Nomihodi deals are now what I look for. It would never work back home. Beer monsters would come in and destroy the place. The Japanese can drink, but somehow this deal remains. I dont get it.
Wednesday: Tried to run, ankle destroyed from Monday
Thursday: Go see Fat Tony. Demand more money. Get an email the next morning, with my number on it. Meet Ricky. Go home, call Matt, and drink more.
Friday: Feeling poor all day due to excesses of previous night. A few earthquakes during the day, and the building was shaking. Not a lot, but just enough to make me wonder if it was an earthquake or the shakes in me. Evening: Diana's leaving drinks. Vitaly makes us consume 3 bottles of Vodka. Overnight in Roppongi, in some dire club full of investment bankers. 4am morning breakfast in Tsukiji with Gerald:

On Saturday I ate at a Philippino restaurant. I avoided the dog (because there wasn't any) and i ate the stomach lining of some animal instead. When I found out what it was, i was disgusted, and actually felt ill. This doesn't happen often with me. The texture was horrible and the taste was simply vacant. Quite how hungry i'd have to be to eat it again, i can't say.

Sunday was chillout. Avoided going to some Onsen in favour of resting. Leg still aching like it was being chewed by hungry animal.

And then the week begins. The advantage of working out of Akasaka is that i can no longer be late for work. i guess thisis a good thing - i it's time i got into gear. i'm still hopeless depressed, and not sureexactly why. i'm the golden boy at work (everyone is asking me about VCS, or beritasu curusata). social life is good, i had dinner with a fascinating guy yesterday, in harajuku. had a burger too - which was my first decent burger in tokyo. he's a seriously wealthy guy, and he doesn't own a single piece of land. it's all in securities. in my opinion, you haveto be incredibly rich to wave goodbye to the notion of owning anything tangible. I'd love to be able to be there. japanese beef in the burger this time, i'm told. mostly it's australian. harajuku is a cool place, and a part of tokyo that i wished i had made the effort to visit earlier. Gwen Stefani sung about the kids of harajuku. something i am going to miss about japan - i was walking yesterday, and spotted a gaijin, who nodded and smiled, and i returned (although i felt a little uncomfortable doing it, and quickly put my head back down).

i think i've torn something inside my leg. it's been killing me for a week, and now that the bruising has reduced, i can feel the tendons shifting up and down in a rusty twisted movement as i move my foot.

Currently: Reading a book about North Korea. Watching the last series of Sopranos. Listening to Aimee Mann - soundrack to Magnolia. Feeling utterly and absolutely miserable, violent, angry and depressed.

Things I'm thinking about in Japan:

I saw a Mercedes SLR yesterday. Just parked up, kinda wonky, like it was a Nissan Micra. And nobody was staring. I nearly started licking it; self restraint followed, sponsored by fear yakuza reprisal. There is more money in Tokyo than even an old school casio calculator can add up to. 80085.
There is a trainstation called Oomori
The younger generation are going to kick up some big change. They are finding different paths in life {their paths are denser or more tightly knit than that of western paths, but nonetheless they have separate paths}. Their parents had one path. This allowed a flat social structure. Guess what's coming? Say "amerika-gin".
Koizumi still has the best haircut in the world of politics.

2 overnights, 1 weekend

2006-01-30T20:04:00.000+09:00

Friday: spent friday in the akasaka office, trying to secure a contract renewal. Met with
Brian, who does not appear to remember the vinegar incident. Asked him for a two week break
between contracts, he agreed. If I can get Carl to give me two or more weeks off, i've got a
month to go to NZ and China, maybe HK again too. So, spend Friday having coffees, a long lunch
break, more coffee, and then sending personal emails. Leave work, and took a train out to Kamatori with Matt to a bar called Raver's Cafe. This is a seriously cool bar. We drove along some outskirt town, then out of town, and in the middle of nowhere, with no other buildings in sight, we spotted a place that was lit up, or rather decorated, like a Christmas Tree. A slightly deranged tatooed guy outside the cafe was sitting on one of the three sofas he had dragged outdoors, in the freezing cold, trying to warm his hands up against the - now raging - fire he had started in the middle of the carpark. I guess because the weather in Japan is quite predictable, you can do this. So I got a Japanese whisky - suntory owiski roko kudasai - and chilled outside. It was a good night. It was good to get away from english speakers, stare at the stars and actually feel like I was in Japan for a few brief hours. The music was cool too. Train back home, feeling miserable, 8am, sleep.

Saturday: Wake up the next day for about 2pm, read an email from Rimiko inviting me to some Lefty Peace film and discussion thing. I accept, intrigued to know what Japanese people figure about rearmanent (article 9) in the light of N Korea. Figure i've got enough time to run + change + head down there. Forward email to Josh. He's keen, because it sounds like a bunch of rainbow hippies eating organic humous. Turns out that it was. The film was interesting, yet one sided. The directory did not manage to interview an articulate rationale for disbanding article 9. Some interesting ideas from the evening:

+ army bases increase military threat, not decrease.
+ why do peace promotion organizations not target MNCs which are the only clear victors in the growing american empire?
+ japan is less nationalistic than it was many years ago, but the older generation are
desperately seeking to reignite xenophobia.
+ there has been no formal apology for WW2, and China and Korea are still fiercely enraged.
+ some South Koreans see Japan as a more serious enemy than North Korea.
+ some of the gaijin who have been here for years still struggle with the concept of being ntrinsically foreign looking in this rather homogeneous country, and thus feel unaccepted.
Get over it. It could be worse - at least they're not trying to insult you.
+ some of the youth are questioning the pressures of their elders for education, and the
correlating it with the unusually high suicide rate

Nearly gave up for the night, but as I was walking up to the gate by the metro, I got a call from Rheanna. Drunk coffee, exchanged pleasantries with Toby, called Sachin, met up with him and Omar in a bar next to Mori tower - Heartland. It was heaving, and, actually a cool bar in Roppongi. It wasn't even seedy. Impressed, and willing to return. The Sachin + Omar duo remind me of the Dipesh + Shiraz duo. Both good looking (although Rheanna didn't think so), sucessful with women, meterosexual, a similar friendly energy between them, and the Hindu + Muslim partnership thrown in for good measure. Then headed to Vanilla, where we you have to grab a flyer from outside which says "for use by girls and foreigners only" to discount entrance from 3000 to 1000 with two free drinks. that's practically subsidized. Stayed until 4am. Walked to Shibuya, Yamanote home.

Sunday: Woke up, recovered watching Sopranos, got a text from Gerald (my wap profile on my phone is screwed, so no more vodafone email) and jumped on a train to Yokohama, home of the largest ethnic Chinese population in Japan, for Chinese New Year. Yokohama is a pleasant place. Not as crowded and manic as Tokyo. Chinatown is cool, the dock area is cool. The rest is so so. I took photos, got home and looked at them on my PC. Gahhhh; horrible. I need to try harder to take better photos...

It dawned upon me, slowly over the weekend, that Dipesh may be a lazy employee, but he has a business nose like no other. I've learned the hard way what he was telling me 3 years ago. Spoke to Karena this morning. She concurred; but she always does. But: better to learn than to keep getting burned. And: using the theory 'find a new apartment before moving out of your current one' is the thought that is keeping me cool right now. Not like cool and calculated, but cool cos there is no point worrying. I'll cross the bridge when it comes to it. So: Status quo, since you can never have status quo ante. Besides, I dont want ante anyway.

I have an extremely limited understanding of economics, and am therefore confused as to how the
BoE can decide that an annual 12% increase in M4 equates to sub 4% inflation. It scares me to
think that any cash I hold is devaluing at the rate of 8% pa. Message: Dont hold cash. On the other hand, central banks, by definition, can't get it wrong, as they can just change the rules. Or can they....Lamont?

office gossip

2006-01-27T00:13:00.000+09:00

sat around today, not doing very much. So some stories.

Met with a Sud Afrique and talked about the future. Turns out that nobody has used a domainable Sun box here. So i'm possibly in demand - because i've read 2 pages in a manual more than most. He's been here 5 years and speaks no Japanese. This will not be me.

Vitaly just told me a story about how he used to work at a bank in Moscow, which had a server hidden in a private datacentre, all for itself. He didn't know where the datacentre was. Only one guy in the office knew. {think 'connected'} . This guy used to carry a remote control which had a single button. If depressed, this button would trigger an EM wave in the datacentre, designed to be large enough to destroy the machine's data.
His manager got drunk and hit the button by mistake. Nasdrovia.

edson said:  i spent my teens working, my twenties studying, and now i'm here.

sergie said:  i dont want to bring up a family here. the country does not prepare you for the rest of the
world

I think I understand equities. Dont sell. Which means, you should only buy at a price you think is good enough value to hold on indefinitely. Think of the 10+ year plan. Anyway, I'm sure I will understand more in 2 years. Hopefully, I wont. Dont sell. Dont sell. Dont sell.

Extension exschmension

2006-01-25T21:37:00.000+09:00

Crossroads at work. For some reason, probably because he's a good guy, Carl has gone out of his way to ensure my idle butt gets it's contract renewed. He's lost headcount, so effectively I'm fired. Whatever, heard it before, blah blah blah. Really - I dont care. Work just seems to be getting in the way of my life these days. But it's a blessing in disguise. I get to chose which team I want to work for - EMS, DBA, SA Infrastructure Support, or SA Fixed Income. I fancy the latter, because:

1. It seems to be the busiest role, and I need to get motivated.
2. It would mean moving to Akasaka.
3. I'd be working for Edson, and he is in favour of the move. Despite meeting me.
4. It is easily the best thing to have on my CV.
5. I'm going to try and swing a month of unpaid leave from work, and this might be the best way.

Heard a rumour that an American software company are paying ludicrous money for contractors in the UK to come out to Japan. Sounded too good to be true. Spent all day calling their office, only to get stonewalled by the receptionist. Bah.

Left work, swallowed a bag of peanuts, and ran 5km. The gym was interesting. They wouldn't let me use the shoes I had swanned in wearing on the machines, so I had to hire a pair for 300 Yen, leaving me only 100 Yen for dinner. 100 Yen might get you dinner in Sao Paolo, but this is Tokyo. I came home hungry. And, of course, I never wore the shoes I hired, as they looked a bit manky.

Japan Loves Me

2006-01-24T21:15:00.000+09:00

because, this weekend, anyone that made conversation by the compulsory "how are you enjoying japan" recieved a raft of hyper positive adverbs.

Flew into Macau and so far so good. Vikram's discovered Buddhism, and he claims that
his new-found calmness in spirit is a direct result. I cite maturity. Either way, he's now tolerant and flexible, which makes for a good travel buddy. We didn't argue once.

Meet Vikash at the ferry port, and two minutes later he's complaining about getting old. Tis true. But I never had a memory before either. That's what blogs and photographs are for. Macau still feels like chinatown in Portugal, and this is especially try in the old town square. Wandering around a city with no destination, friends you haven't seen in years and a fat camera in the cool of the night is superb. Buffet dinner. Eat chocolate like they're banning it tomorrow. Drink, gamble, drink. I introduced the Martingale System. Vic added cumin and corriander seeds. We lost.

The Portuguese annoy me. they could have made Macau super wealthy, but they were too rubbish to stave off competition from HongKong. And then they couldn't be bothered to change. As a result, it looks as if China has done more for Macau in the few seconds they have had it than what those lazy Euros did in four hundred. Got the ferry to Hong Kong island, check in to the hotel, and try to black out; but Vic was snoring like a hibernating grizzly.

Paying for the guest house the next day was an experience. I went to the desk and asked the woman where I could find an ATM. She yelled back at me - "BE BACK IN FIVE MINUTES OR I OPEN UP THE ROOM" que? "Look, i need to get money to pay you, where is the ATM? DO NOT leave the room open, i'm going to be back with the money. My stuff is in the room". She repeated her original statement with plus tempo and plus fortissimo.

Paid up, then headed out of town immediately to go see Big Buddha. Ferry, ferry, bus, hill. Witness what indeed is a rather large statue of The Man Of Chill. Read a little about Buddhism, take photos, head down for a veggie meal, complain that, being China, we should be eating Pig. Bus & MRT and we're on Hong Kong island once more. Walk a decent length through the city, and feel Hong Kong, working class view. It was the expected mix of old and new. Laundry hanging out of one imposingly large aging apartment block next to an even more imposingly large glass office block. So, whilst discussing corporate policy on the 53rd floor you can stare blankly out the window and watch someone's pants dry.

Take the MRT back to Soho and chill at some coffee shop whilst waiting for Nilesh and Barbara to take us out to dinner. Had a fantastic vegetarian feed at Spice, a Thai restaurant. Still, no pork in China. Nilesh drove us up to The Point to see the view over Hong Kong. Breathtakingly cool to watch City Lights at night from a remote spot on a hill somewhere. And then we had tea at his apartment. I looked left of the plasma TV to see one of the most enormous windows I have ever seen. Overlooking Hong Kong. I nearly died. If God moved to Hong Kong, i'm quite certain that Nilesh would be served an eviction notice to accomodate The Almighty. Three days later, i'm still mesmerized by it. His apartment cost HKD40M. The motivation that it bestows upon any visitor is thrown in for free. Dammit, i'm going to be rich. I _must_ be rich. Took the fernicula back down to where the poor people live, and met Vikash on a street corner. Drinks began at 11 and ended 5 hours later with a foot long Subway sandwich and a taxi home.

Wake, find a fabulous Vietnamese place for lunch, and finally get to eat pork. Meet
Monika and kid. Vikash's profound statement regarding interracical marriage: Your country may tolerate it but your house may not. Drop Vic off at the ferry port for Macau and go shopping. Buy stuff. Hong Kong is excellent for shopping. Everything is so perfectly arranged and well laid out. Clothes? Here. Jewelry? Here. And corridors after corridors of shops in the malls for you to waste time and money looking through. I dont do designer brands - at all - but there was still a plethora of options. Chinese New Year is approaching, and i'm told that it's the best time to go shopping in HK. Massives discounts available before, during, and after. Quit the mall and head outdoors. Walking through the streets of Hong Kong enroute to the nightmarket I saw a kid breaking into dance-induced-by-walkman. Happiness is cool. Losing selfconciousness is better. More shopping. Buy myself a fake Hello Kitty keitai toy and keyring.

Monika joins us later and go to an Indian for dinner. Hotel. Sleep a few hours. Bus. Airport. Ridiculous queue to checkin. Marvel at HKIA. Buy omiyage for work. Slept for the full 4hour flight home. Took pleasure in using the short immigration queue which said "Japanese nationals and residents". Jump onto the train at Narita, and two minutes later i'm seeing a snow hit Tokyo.

The Pianist

2006-01-17T19:21:00.000+09:00

Has made me realise that I need to keep some assets outside the UK. Nobody thought that Idi Amin would happen either.

Buddha argues that you should be weary to associate happiness with a particular article or change in yoru life, lest happiness does not come from that article or change. Better to find happiness within yourself. Does that mean I am not going to be happy when I pay off my debt? Perhaps. Today I saw The Score with bobby deniro. A mediocre film, with one inspiring idea: A Jazz Bar. If i got my act together, I could run a cool live music bar, even at a loss, just to pass time. Quote Scully: "Need to make it faster!!!"

An advantage of having children: Dialogue with parents will improve. Disadvantages still endless. I praise Buddha et al for making sure I did not have kids in my twenties.

I now have the coolest ringtone for my phone. It sounds exactly like the phone on my desk at work. Or Jack Bauer's landline.

I have just watched Movern Callar and realised that I hate British people. So now I feel I identify with Jewish anti-Semites. Quote Dom: "I like flying between 2 countries when neither is the UK as it means there are less British people onboard".

Still swinging between notions of London and Zurich. Every non-British person wants to go to London, every British person thinks London is awful. Since I despise British people, surely this is a solid reason to move to London?

And i've realised that taking other people's advice is the worst thing I have ever done. Aside from the fact that they will give me an opinion on what they want rather than what I want, it leads me to blame others for not getting what I was too afraid to take. So going to try to ask for less direction from others. Or, rather, misdirection.

I've enjoyed lounging around watching movies and overeating in a large house in KL for a few days. I watched Crash (2004, with that Hotel Rwanda guy), and thought about luck once more. In typical fashion, the people who own the large house appear utterly ungrateful for their luck in being able to have such luxury. And I don't think it is a matter of seeing people who are worse off than you before you appreciate things. Perhaps i've learned to appreciate housing because i've lived in absolute squalor before? God, i'm lucky. I've never worked a day in my life, I've failed practically every test of mind and moral thrown upon me, and yet, here I am..... Anyway, Crash is an excellent film.

I am obliged to buy people gifts when they have kids. Same way as marriage gifts. In days gone, when people were poor, I could see the point. Nowadays, sod it, cut the charity, and speak the truth: I dont actually care. Really. Marriage is kinda exciting, because it's a big party, and it involves me, and it really signals the death of the friendship that you once had with that person. Until they get divorced. But even so, why should I get the bride and groom something? Besides, As adults, on your birthday, you have to buy everyone else cakes. I dont mind buying people stuff. It's just that I want to do it when I'm not obliged to do it. Then, it means something. Example: when Vikash bought me a necktie when I was in India for his wedding. That was cool.

Went to 1-Utama shopping mall and bought a whole raft of clothing. Soooo much cheaper than Japan. Anyway, stop for coffee with Shobie, and despite the fact that it's just me and a girl, the Icelandic supervisor (NOT supervisor-ess) decides to hit on me. I didn't notice what was going on until he walked away, and before someone else came back with our drinks, Shobie split her sides laughing at the situation. So when trying to pay the bill, a while later, he surfaces. I try and pay quick, Shobie clearly looking to strike up a conversation with him, the till jams, I panic, tell the waitress to forget the change, and walk away...

Adventure

2006-01-15T22:46:00.000+09:00

Vic bought a 4wd, and has since discovered the pleasure of driving offroad.

Took a lift into the city centre with The Major, and listened to his stories. He's a dying breed. One of a kind. Gave me travel tips. Yogyakarta sounds fab. Got my v800 unlocked at Low Yat at turned into a Z800. now i can play music, store files, take photos, read email, and even make calls. All from my phone. So much better than an ipod.

Planning the trip to Hong Kong now is an issue. Why? Because Vikash is as horny as a rabbit and is absolutely determined to go to strip joints. I think it is because he is married. Personally, I can't stand the places. It gets my goat the way that power has swung so rapidly towards women in this day. 50 years ago, men had more power. Today, I believe that the swing has drifted so far, that women are now vastly more powerful than men. So going to strip joints, and paying money to boost women's egos is not my idea of a fun time. I will feel the rain seeping through six feet of mud before I let another human feel such an exhorbitant amount of power over me. Sure, male:female power ratio will even out in a few decades - too late for me - but that doesn't make it any less annoying today. My temperament is not eased by news that Fanny got a job programming C++ today, when I am quite sure she doesn't even know what HTML is. Am I wrong to suspect she got the job because they wanted her prancing about the office?

Back on the marriage front, living for a few days with a married couple has allowed me to see why people get divorced. That said, faced with the threat of death, Vic is one of the few peoples whose life I would consider reincarnating into. Apart from the fact that he's had back-to-back success with women, he has creativity. All the time in the world can't make that - at least not in me. And yet, i know i'd pass at the chance to live his life. It's not that I think everyone else is a failure - it's just that I don't know anyone else - who i've spent a significant amount of time with - that's into the same stuff as me.

Quote from an email from Matt that I don't follow: Pink is cool for guys, not for girls.
Does he mean that women aren't really gay, and are just doing it because they are too scared of relationships with men?

Bizzarely enough, in the face of all the potential for misery, I am in a stonking good mood. Everbody I see has an atmosphere of beauty. I feel as if I'm ready to buy the grim reaper a beer. If he does arrive, he's taking me from a place where I've "seen things you people wouldn't believe". And made "Memories. You're talking about memories."

Bells are ringing. Something tells me quarter is over.

TOKYO HK MACAU KL

2006-01-15T00:36:00.000+09:00

Gotta get this thought out before i forget: i've been spending 80% of my waking hours day dreaming about equities and commodities.

Anyways....Skipped work cheeky early to run to Narita so that I could be ontime to hear the 'flight delayed notices'. Landed in Hong Kong after being delayed for about 2 hours. Got to the train station, and balked at the $100 train fair to the city, so I headed for the bus stop. Spent the time walking to the bus stop being suitably impressed with myself for actually caring about the difference between $40 and $100. If I was in Japan, I am quite certain it would not have mattered. Get chucked off the bus for asking for change from $500 and head back to 7-11 for change. Buy a nigiri, dose it in wasabi and reminisce about Tokyo. Finally get the bus, and arrive at 2am, only to find out that I booked the hotel for Friday night, not Thursday. At least the guy put me up. Woke up thinking "Japan is better". Checked out, bantered with the doorman, got the info i needed and headed out. Hong Kong is cool. Because populous, dense cities are cool. It's been so long since i've really travelled, and it felt strange. All the holidays I took last year were with other people, and I there is no doubt about it, company is good at night, but bad during the day. I like to be alone while I decide where I'm going to eat lunch. Having been spoiled in Japan, Hong Kong didn't strike me as the most hygienic place - despite being cleaner than the UK - so I grabbed lunch in the restaurant next to the Ministry for Food Hygiene. Bulletproof.

Headed down to the Macau ferry port, by foot, which took forever with my payload. Found a free internet cafe and killed some time emailing. Got on the ferry, got more stamps in my passport, jumped onto a plane heading South. I have a knack of meeting interesting people on flights, and this time i sat next to a 19 year old Australian, who had just lived in London for 9 months. I can't imagine moving to Sydney for 9 months when I was 18. It was something that didnt even warrant dreaming about. Spent the rest of the flight filled with jealously, and the notion that I should have tried to grow up prior to going to university. I've now realised that, in hindsight, I did grow up, albeit in Bristol and Edinburgh. At least I did have that opportunity, and nothing is ever wasted. Except internet surfing and TV watching. I saw the twin towers poking a little proud of the other buildings when flying over KL at night. Land, immigration, taxi. Scene cuts to Naan bread at 1am with Vic in Taman Tun. Reminscing about our ignorance, immaturity, and how: {this time, it'll be different}.

Shobie's parents said two things to me: Mother: "You're fat"; Father: "You're bald".

Powder Snow; but no Charlie

2006-01-14T00:43:00.000+09:00

I comfort myself with the notion that there are things in life you are bad at. And in parallel, there will be things in life you are good at. In snowboarding, i have found both. I am bad at snowboarding, and good at forgetting how bad i am. It is a situation which leads to pain. And so Onsens are a godsend. I have a memory of falling over in a hideously complicated manner, in a way that must've looked almost as painful as it felt. With my torso buried in snow, i turned sideways to see a 5 year old kid drifting past me, with incredible ease. "Daijoubu!". I mustered all the sarcasm left, and groaned "Genki"

I got invited to go snowboarding with a bunch of guys from work. Now, it's not that I dont like them, but i just didn't really want to go with them. There are a plethora of reasons, all of which could be construed as offensive or otherwise derogratory. So I won't bother. Anywho, I made my excuses, and then got a call from Ricky saying he was going this weekend, and would I like to go. Hell yeah. So I headed off for the Shinkansen to Mount Naeba, and who do I see on the platform at Tokyo? John, Storage Team John, who sits not so far from me. Now, I didn't particularly mind meeting John, because I hardly speak to him, and his docility reminds me of Sharpe. Anyway, got the slopes, tired out, went back for dinner, and John says 'i just met dave and jp out there'. OMG. danieru panics, realising that they now know that despite telling dave and jp that i didn't want to go boarding this weekend, they have now been told by John that, in fact, i am out here anyway. panic subsides, as i realise that I dont really give a monkies, and que sera. A little awkward first day back from work, but it's all iced over now. Of all the slopes of all the mountains in Japan, they had to make it to mine. Sod follows me. God bless him.
And, of course, I met another pyscho. A Japanese guy in his mid twenties on the bus, trying to talk to me. Repeating "how do you do" and "hajime mashite" in various word orders, for a solid 5 minutes. Then he gave me stickers. Then he stood up and started making horse noises at me.

Got no less than 12 missed calls from Rheanna, who I was supposed to meet for dinner, in Tokyo. Had to call back the next day and apologize, rather than explain, about not making it. Seemed to pull it off though. So, all in all, quite a disastrous weekend for the people who I am surrounded by.

Not too bad for me though, I learnt how to spin. Which feels impressive. What goes around comes around.

New Year

2006-01-13T15:26:00.000+09:00

Met up with josh, which is not an easy task, since he refuses to buy a ketai. trapsed around shibuya looking forthe belgian bar. found it. found it closed. went to the 300 yen bar and ate and drunk and waited for Leffe. Jaime shows up, in Burberry. It reminded that I need to pour more of my cash into the equities matching 'luxury', The stockmarket, once more, has an understanding of the world that people simply do not. Thank god. Make a break for the Belgian bar once more. On entrance, there is a free tombola. I take a ticket. I win a Hoegaarden cutlery set. Wonderful, and utterly useless to myself, who never uses cutlery. Then take a train to Harajuku. New Year is a big deal in Japan. In fact, it is the deal. This is the one time of the year when Tokyo empties, and everybody scurries off the the suburbs to be with family.
The Meiji shrine in Harajuku is right next to the station, and is the place that practically all Japanese left in Tokyo will go to for midnight. We queued for hours with the millions and were herded gradually towards the centre of the shrine chuck money whilst making wishes at the shrine. I wish i had taken a broom. On the fences as you are leaving, you can see people have tied their wishes for the New Year to the fences, and I was left wishing that I was literate, so that I could be nosy. But in reality, I am sure they were all leaving love notes for Hello Kitty. Kawaii.
A thought that belongs nowhere: I am struck, quite often, when I see Japanese girls with their Kitty-Chan ketai toys, and kawaii accessories with disbelief that they are of the same stock that gave their sons to the imperial army, the boys of Nanking. It makes no sense. Contrast to Russia - when i see a Russian girl, I dont, not for one minute, hesitate to think that she would send her sons, by the million, to their death against National Socialism, in the name of Mother Russia. After all that queing and general flouncing around, i was too tired to respond to the few text requests coming in for Party in Roppongi... so i headed home.

breakfast with Slav

2006-01-13T15:25:00.000+09:00

for a few seconds this morning, i actually felt like Michael Palin. there i was, in an old restaurant with tired decor at 8am having been guided through the a famous fish market by some dude who wore a heavy coat and spoke with an accent Hollywood has made me stereotype to that of an arms dealer. { If there's one thing I know, it's never to mess with mother nature, mother in-laws and motherfreaking Ukrainians}. But Slav has Charisma. As i still can't stand either the texture or the taste of eggs, I ordered a bowl of somthing containing, amongst others, raw tuna and cooked crab. Slav moved here from New York a good few years back, and works as the only gaijin in a rather traditional japanese company. twice a day, in the morning and the evening, all the staff assemble for a group session where they all chant from a script exclaiming how they are going to be more productive, how they are going to sell more, and how determined they are to make a success. twice a day. the same script. everyone in the company. he expressed a degree of guilt towards sometimes skipping these prayer meetings, a trick that perhaps only he, being gaijin, can make excuses for. He agreed with the misconception surrounding the Japanese work ethic. 24by7 or more, but 24x7minutes of productivity per week. Lots of paper shuffling. He was thankful that there were no morning excercises to partake in. I left the restaurant in a good mood, walking to work. Somehow I managed to fall down in the most spectacularly cackhanded fashion, involving a moped, two bicycles and my ipod. I dont really understand what happened, but as I got up from the ground, people were staring. In Japan, it is rare to be stared at.

Predictions for 2006 year end

2005-12-31T13:02:00.001+09:00

This post is all for me. In 360 days, I will ponder about where I was looking. And maybe learn.

World:
Noise from {Iran, North Korea}
Fearmongery towards {Russia, China}
Futures bright for {Brazil, Germany}

Finance:
Short on Dow. Heavy rate rises + Bernanke + Bond yield quirk + GM
Long on FTSE. Murders and Executions. Strong banking sector. Strong Euroland.
Long on South American Equities. Brazil power + Argentine recovery + Venuzuela & Bolivia
Long on Emerging Markets. Asian demand for raw materials soaring
Short on Dollar. 2005 repatriation watershed over + Decifit + Decifit
Long on Euro. Stronger reports from Germany + manufacturers + banks + telco M&As
Hold on Land. No major changes in market conditions to force obscene change.
Long on Commodities. Increased global consumption.
Hold Nikkei. Inflation + rate rise + stronger yen.
Long on Banks. M&A fever.

Postured for charge. The Bull.

Me & Family:
Leave Nippon. End up in Londres, fearing Zurich. Discover peace. Siblings and parents to hold on location.

We may be through with the past, but the past ain't through with us.

The End is Nigh

2005-12-30T19:46:00.000+09:00

I would have liked to call this post The 3.5 Mule Riders of the Apocalypse. Because i'm nearly there - at the end. Although I am still defined by the trait "All ideas and no execution" (domo arigato gozimasu Bicu-san). things have improved a damn sight this year. I am one of the many lucky inhabitants of Earth, as every year of my life is better than the last. This year, I have:
-gotten somewhere to live
-entered the commodities market (albeit in an exceptionally small form)
-run 10k
-been to new several places (Firenze, Rosnov, Steornabhagh, Toronto, Chicago).
-been to an old place (Wroclaw)
-lived in three cities (Edinburgh, London, Tokyo)
-develop an interest in Anthropology

But the two most important:
-looked at life through the eyes of some fascinating individuals, who I have been fortunate enough to meet
which resulted in
-defining my life by means of pleasures, however transient or fleeting, rather than the dark, but necessary, negative moments.

next year, i hope to (NOT in order of preference):
-climb Mount Fuji
-go to more new places (NZ, HK, China, S Korea, DPRK)
-visit some old places (KL, Dortmund)
-read more books
- become more active (more excercise related pastimes)
- take An Idea out of my head, and fry it up with commitment. Smokin. The process has begun, oh god, let this one complete....
- foster my creativity. I just heard a story about an ex-DBA who quit to film for a canadian TV company. interviews and stuff. me jealous.

Psychopaths and Homosexuals.

2005-12-30T19:39:00.000+09:00

A lot of people out there complain that the only girls they meet are lesbians and psychos. In my case, i seem to attract them, like a high voltage magnet. So far, i've encountered 2 psychos (the one that just jumped out of his 40th floor window doesn't count, as I never met him). I'm not that bothered about the homosexuals - although there does appear to be a danger of becoming a reverse fag-hag. Quite literally, there have been countless that I have crossed paths with. Anyway, yesterday, I was walking through Triton enroute to the bar to kill some time before meeting Sachin. Paul and I bumped into each other and shot the breeze. Then some Japanese woman, in her 40's, walks up to us, and speaks in English. This is a condensed version of the story:

Woman: do you know any French
Daneiru: a little
Woman: I need some help with some French
Danieru: ok, well, show me, and i'll see if i can translate it
Woman: Well, it has to be the right accent
Danieru: i'll have a go, do you have a lot, or just a sentence
Woman: no, i need to learn
Danieru: well, i can make a guess at how it is pronounced
Po-e-ru: We can try and help - what do you want?
Woman: I need French lessons.
Po-e-ru: well! oh - ok, well, you need to get someone to teach you. We thought you needed something small translated
Woman: do you know any french people?
Po-e-ru: well, JP could probably help her - Danieru?
Danieru: yes, and i know someone else as well, who could teach, they are tri-lingual
Woman: who?
Danieru: a girl, she lives in Ikebukuro
Woman (visibly disappointed, but pretends to be disappointed by the distance to Ikebukuro): err, that's too far. Where do you work?
Daneiru and Poeru make up stories about where they work.
Woman starts complaining about Al Italia not speaking French, when she was in their offices earlier today
Danieru and Poeru now convinced she is a fruit loop
Woman starts complaining that she got kicked out of an office earlier today because she didn't have any ID.
Daneiru and Poeru looking to quit the scene asap.
Woman continues complaining about not finding any French people to teach her French.
Woman: Can I have an email address?
Danieru: Err - I dont have her contact details on me, I can leave them at the cafe here for you, tomorrow.
Po-e-ru: yeah - you can come pick them up tomorrow
This ridiculous conversation continues for a few minutes, and I keep insisting that I will leave an email address for her at the cafe. No more.
Woman: well, can I have your email?
Poeru frantically waving his hands behind her, signally "NO NO NO" to me.
Danieru: Sure. {danieru invents fake email address and gives it to her}
Woman: what time are you going to be at the cafe?
Danieru: I dont know.
Woman: Can I have your mobile number?
Danieru: No, i dont think so
Woman: Can I have your office direct line?
Poeru cuts in. Agressive: Look. We've been patient. He said he was going to leave you an address, what more do you want?
Woman: to learn french.
Poeru: Go, like everybody else, to a f-ing school. Dont hang around office building harrassing people like us - go sign up to a f-ing class and learn. What are you doing?
Woman: But I want to learn the real pronunciation
Poeru: Well, get on a f-ing plane, and get yourself to France. You can't learn by hanging around here and harrasing people.

Finally, after 20minutes ish of harrasment, we depart company, and Paul and I go downstairs for a beer, to put some distance between her and ourselves. Then we leave, Paul walks home, I walk to the subway. My phone goes off:

Poeru: you wont believe this. she lives in my apartment.
Danieru: What?
Poeru: yeah man, she's here, looking for her post. I saw her, told her to f-off and now i've come outside. i dont want her to see which place i live in.
Danieru: she may not live there. she may just be going through the post, looking for french names
Poeru: well, i've never seen her before. Jesus. what am i supposed to do?
Danieru: come over to Kotta Dori and have a beer with me.
Poeru: no, i'm going to wait a while and go back in. If she starts anything, i dont know what i'm going to do.

went and met Sachin in OmoteSando. damn posh area. Bars were so posh that they are hidden, and impossible to find. Complain about the overwhelming number of psychos (RA: no explanation needed; Britney: "i'm in Hokkaido, this Japanese boy is annoying me. how about you and I embark on a torrid affair" my reply: "err - i'm gay"; and now the nameless japanese woman who wants to learn French). Then, of course, Sachin introduces me to his lesbian friend. Hang out for a beer. Get the train back home. It was an absolute riot, there wasn't even place to stand on the platform. Finally get squashed into the train, and get talking to some Aussies. One was gay.

The Two Days of Christmas

2005-12-30T18:56:00.000+09:00

Woke up early for Saturday. Maybe 7am. Got on a train from Shinjuku to Shimoda, and met Jeff and his other half on the platform. Because I had a reserved seat, I passed out for the first half of the 2.5 hours. Woke up to the scenic beauty of the Japanese coast enroute to the Japanese the Izu peninsular. There are a whole series of active volcanic islands on the way down, puffing up fumes, and causing smelly sulphuric chaos for the locals. Get to Carl's place. Stand in awe at the sight of a house. Stand in amazement at the talk of luxury resorts around the world. Stand patiently waiting for more steak from the bbq. Met a software salesman. Got his attention, got his meishi, got to get back to him.

About to take the train back home again, but hitched a ride with two guys. I only caught one name. Interesting conversation, and made me realize the import of socratic irony. I need to talk less and hear more. Sleep.

Then the 25th. Woke up, went to church. it has been a long time since i've gone to church, and i did think carefully before i went. i decided to go. it was busy. like an open air marketplace. not such an enjoyable experience. also, the vatican did not get any of my money. since i've stopped going to church, i have slowly begun to develop irritation towards the way that the catholic state conducts its business. Anyway, headed back to the flat, and ate a big lunch, cooked by Fanny. A few phonecalls, headed down to meet PK, Jaime and others for a Christmas dinner in Shinjuku. Not Shinjuku-Itchome, thank god. Met a British guy who moved to Tokyo 6 months ago, and sits around all day playing computer games. He sells them over the internet, and makes a fortune. Despite the fact that he has awful hair, i'm still jealous.
Half the people departed, and I struck a deal with the Karaoke guys: 1500Yen per hour for Nomihodai. Sang stupid Christmas pop songs for an hour and tried to get value for money from the drinks deal. A Japanese Christmas, and entertaining too.

All the Christmas stuff comes down in Japan on the 26th. The season is over. It's crazy, the 25th isn't even a national holiday. they go mad with the consumerism, but consider christmas to be a season rather than a day. so nobody wishes each other merry christmas on the day, or even around it for that matter. but you see the trees, the snowmen, and even the odd Pere Noel.

Shorts

2005-12-23T13:40:00.000+09:00

They banned blogger at work. Totally. I guess I could still email posts, but it just doesn't feel the same. I must forget the old and love the new...

If you commit suicide under a train in Japan, the costs incurred by the railway company in the disruption to service, the cleanup operation, the psychological damage incured by the driver etc., is billed to the family of the perpertrator. In the UK, perhaps this would be a sure method for encouraging the act. In Japan, people stopped jumping in front of trains.

Went snowboarding last weekend in Nagano. Twas fabulous, the snow was amazing. I have never seen so much snow before. Was also a good time to yabber with Joshua, who I hadn't seen in a while. To be repeated.

I've spent a lot of my working time this week shooting the breeze with Monsieur Bee, and am now convinced that Equities are riding the bull for a good few months to come.

Went to Toki yesterday and met Po-e-ru who dragged me down to a 300 Yen bar in Ginza. An amazing find in Ginza, of all places. Got on the train to go and meet Vitaly/Diana/Donavon in Shinjuku. Meet some random american kid who we take to the bar with us, and later unwittingly takes us to the gay part of Shinjuku (Poeru and I displeased) and abandons us in a bar, which despite being an excellent bar, had a thoroughly annoying patron whose skull I wanted to burst, after he tried to start a fight. I hope not to go back in hurry. Donavon passed out on the bar, and even Vitaly couldn't lift him up. Donavon's woman kept calling Paul's phone until I finally told her that 'if you're really concerned, come and collect him'. The calls stopped. Got back home at 7am. I've written it like I didn't enjoy the evening, but it was different, so I did.

Damo and Sandra have just departed, having spent a week shopping in Ginza. Everyone is playing a make believe game in this make believe world, that we are someone. Damo's found that the sound of numbers flying through VISA do it - it's his schtick. I'm going to miss them. Most outlandish purchase was a Zegna jacket. We spent their last evening in Shu, eating and drinking far too much. Damo appeared mildly concerned about what I would write about him here. How flattering. We even had a drunken 3am heart to heart discussion. However, their generousity is similarly disjointed with reality, and I was presented with a pair of Cohibas, which is the only Christmas present I am to recieve this year, as no parcels have arrived for me :(

I made it to work 2 hours after I was supposed to sent out a report.

As with all plans, it's best left to fate, Christmas appears to be working itself out nicely.

Did you know?

2005-12-13T23:06:00.000+09:00

With recent events in Australia, it might be time to remind ourselves that they dismantled the white-Australia immigration policy in the late seventies - full completion around 1981. And you thought Texas was crazy.

Sacramento

2005-12-10T12:20:00.000+09:00

Like buses, social gatherings all appear at the same time. Friday evening, and just as I was leaving work, got news that Seattle Matt was leaving, and so I needed to go to Roti for a swift three. Then onto Sachin's place miles away in Meguro, and get there in time to drink G&T, text Ricky to tell him that i'm not going to make it out to Roppongi, undoubtely leaving him in the hands of temptation. Met a Pakistani citizen who has spent his entire life out here. Fluent in three scripts. No identity complex - it's all about you, and what you let happen. Drunk gin, ate pizza, talked banter, watched movie.

Spent a lot of the next morning in bed, watching Der Untergang and Hotel Rwanda. I felt an incredible degree of empathy towards the general facing imminent defeat in Berlin. It is one thing to fail an exam, or miss a mortgage payment. But it's quite another to be humiliated into surrendering your country through a war which you invoked. Finally got myself into gear and headed down to Toki, then on to another bar, where I had a beer from a lead mug. Fantastically medieval, presumably posionous. Jet down to Ageha, Shinkiba on the last train, ask directions from some American kid wearing shades at midnight, and make it to the queue. We've all got gaijin cards, but Abe, being the only Japanese gets rejected for not having another other than cash. Dave and I go in anyway, and pay 4000Yen each to get into a club. I've never paid anywhere near that before, and i didn't even blink. The money spending thing here is really starting to confuse me - i have no idea why I am so ready to part with cash out here. Maybe because it's counted as 4 thou, which is only 1 more than 3 thou etc. So i guess I should divide by 100 instead, and think in USD. Which means I spend 20US on lunch today. But I thoroughly recommend Asterisk, Akasaka to everyman and his dog. If you've been there once, they will ask you what you want to drink. From there on, they just bring it to you. The three guys I was with hadn't been there in a year - she remembered their drinks. Stayed in Ageha overnight, Diana arrived later in the evening having had dinner with a bunch of guys she knows. Apparently, Tokyo comes after Sydney and San Francisco for gay capital. From what i've seen, this doesn't surprise me. So when a guy started talking to me later in the evening, I introduced him to my wife, Diana. Conversation quickly dried up. Deep Dish, who were the whole reason to go to Ageha, kicked off their set at about 4am, and i heard the one track I was waiting for - Sacramento:
I can't help but feeling that love is always dealing me a losing hand, california's sleeping and you've got me weeping, i am just a man; i am just a man; i am just a man.

stuck around for another hour, and got the train back,and blacked out.

Sunday was rather more productive than I imagined, and I managed to buy some clothes. Also, got an email from Karena which made me think that, perhaps, the Y100 store was not the place to buy Christmas presents. Amazon.co.uk is a far better idea. I agree. On the case now.

Warning, fat overload

2005-12-09T09:27:00.000+09:00

Went to the gym today, and discovered that I have a body lard composition of 24.0%. That means i'm in line for death soon. Really. So I guess I better stop going to the gym, if that's all they're going to tell me.

Got a job tentative offer from Vodafone, but it's in Newbury. God knows you’re lonely souls.

Dipped my toes in the commodities market. I don't care if it's too late. That's what they said about property in 2002. Found a possibility for the trading of Japanese equities. About time too. The yen has fallen to 210 against sterling. I'm going to start cooking my own food soon, if this continues.

Karena pulled off a stroke of genius diplomacy, and I doubt she understands the full implications. "paid you back for the interest you tried to pay me"

Got my Soleil Dix host on the network. Time to start doing some work and getting the skills up to date.

Decided to stay in Tokyo for Christmas.

Found an interesting new word: kakehiki

The Canadian Government Formally Apologizes for Bryan Adams

2005-12-07T13:01:00.000+09:00

Woke up this morning in a studio flat. Now, space is at a premium in Tokyo, and few more so than in Akasaka. But I was still shocked to see the size of this place. It was, quite literally, a small room with a itsy bitsy bathroom, a sink for a kitchen, and a bed. I thought my cousin's flat in Mumbai was small, but woah, this was more compressed. The bathroom was so small that you cannot change your clothes inside. You could not swing a cat in this apartment. And at over 100,000Yen a month, there is a large price to pay for squashing your life so much. I am quite certain that if two or more people can live in an apartment like this, with unemployment, they can survive through anything.

Extraordinarily drunk in the morning (barmaid was either bored or enjoyed our company. We got many free shots, and I consequently missed the last train home), wearing spare clothes I kept in the desk drawer. Then head down to Tabei Hotei for lunch, and see the Pork message on the gioza. I have submitted it to Engrish. Sober now, and waiting for day to finish...

Signed up to the gym temporarily yesterday, and got asked to sign a declaration stating that I had no tatoos.

Advice

2005-12-06T14:14:00.000+09:00

A wonderful summary advising how to deal with partner difficulties: Don't move out of your apartment until you have new apartment to live in.
I was advised that pearls are cheap in Japan.

Advisor: "Why dont you buy some"
Danieru: "And give them to who? How do I liquidate them?"
Advisor: "Err, no...as presents..."
Danieru: "Dude, I'm going to the 100Yen shop for my Christmas presents."

Security at work complaining about me:

It takes no time for you to satisfy security policy when you use the sentence on the list precisely. Now I will close this inquiry.

Do not be scared about the Japanese work ethic. I was incredibly fearful for working in Japan, working for a bank, working an investment bank. Now that I am here, I can say for sure: there are very few rocket scientists or brain surgeons here. Japanese do not work harder than Europeans, they merely pretend to. It is perfectly normal for a Japanese office worker to sleep on their desk during the day. People leave the office late after doing nothing all day. This propogates the myth of being overworked. My suspicions on why the Japanese economy did so well include {overt consumerism, brilliant technologists, heavy foreign investment after WW2, fairly incorrupt capitalist government}. Exports appear to be an accident - almost all products are designed for domestic consumption exclusively.